My focus never left Kah through the inner battle that raged within me, and the sheer level of pain I saw within her eyes mildly startled me. I knew instantly that Kah had an interest in me that I had never noticed before. Whatever illusions she conjured up in her mind were shattered with the realisation that I had chosen a female other than her. I’d had no idea Kah had interest in me, but that didn’t matter now. All that mattered was that I hurt her.
Before I could say a word, she placed her fist over her chest and bowed her head.
“I beg your forgiveness for the intrusion, my prince. I did not hear any sounds from inside when I approached. My hearing isn’t good enough to hear through the solid walls and doors. There are no warriors in the hallway, so no one told me I could not enter. Your bed chamber was on my morning cleaning schedule. I’ll return later when the room is vacant.”
She left in the same breath, and my shoulders sagged when I heard a little sob come from her mouth as the door clicked shut. I turned to Levi, and she saw my expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“Kah is my wing’s head servant … I have just realised she has an interest in me, and seeing us together has hurt her. I saw her face contort with pain when she realised you were naked and touching me. She could scent the sex we shared in the air too. I can do nothing to take that hurt away because I want you, not her, but I still feel badly. She’s had a hard life. She is hearing-impaired and hid that fact from everyone until recently. I was particularly hard on her because I thought she wasn’t paying attention when all the while, she could not hear.”
Levi pressed her fingers to her lips. “Oh, the poor girl!”
“She’s a female, not a girl.”
“Female then.” Levi grunted. “She looks young, in her mid-teens.”
“She’s thirty-nine, the same age as Surkah.”
“She looks way younger than Surkah. She looks like she could be on the right side of fifteen. She’s tiny.”
“She’s the shortest female of her age amongst the people, so she appears very young, but she will soon be entering femalehood.”
“Her age does not matter. She looked very hurt, nalex.” My mate’s eyebrows dug in tight. “And what do you mean that you’ve been hard on her?”
“Ever since Kovu died … I have been different. I hate when females assume males will protect them from everything because that cannot always be the case. I’ve been short-tempered with the female servants and other females of the people if I can sneak up on them without them noticing. Their senses are sharp. They should hear and smell everything, but when they’re distracted, they lose focus, and I never allowed that when they were in my presence, so it is why I’m unliked so much. Everyone thinks I’m cruel.”
“That’s not cruel. That’s considerate and touching! You’re making sure they’re always safe.”
“They think I’m mean.”
“Kah obviously didn’t, even if you were hard on her.”
I sighed. “I’ve always been hard on her about her laziness to hear me when I approached her. I placed her as my head servant as punishment. None of the servants favour me amongst the princes. They all think I’m cruel, but Kah obviously changed her mind about that. I recently helped her gain some of her hearing back. Maybe she grew affection for me.” I rubbed a hand over my face. “I’ll have to request an audience with her and tell her I’ll never choose her because I am now mated.”
“Ezah!” Levi admonished. “Don’t you dare. The poor female knows what choice you have made, and I’m sure if she hasn’t already realised, someone will mention our mating to her. You said she is hard of hearing still. She has obviously missed our news. If you request an audience with her, you’ll not only hurt her further, but you’ll mortify her by verbally rejecting her.”
“Then what do I do, ignore her?”
“Don’t ignore her, ignore it.” Levi stressed. “Look, if you weren’t interested in me, I would have died on the spot if you called me for a meeting and rejected me. That is just so wrong. Pretending you don’t notice her upset over the situation is a kindness so she can get over you in private. Do you understand?”
“How do you know this?”
“Because I’m not stupid.” My mate rolled her eyes. “My romantic experience with males starts and ends with you and all we have done up until this point, but it’s common sense to let the female get over you in peace.”
“I think telling her blankly is a better option, but if you think it will help her feelings to be oblivious, I will listen to you.”