Gavin froze.
“Exactly,” I said, ignoring everyone’s eyes one me.
“What does she mean, Gav?” Harley asked his little brother. “You have a secret?”
Gavin glanced at his brother, then back at me and groaned.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “One I asked Alannah to keep even though she hated every second of it because it meant she had to keep it from you lot.”
“Don’t worry about them,” I mumbled. “They don’t share the same sentiment when it comes to secrets.”
“Alannah,” Bronagh said from my right, making me bristle. “Please, talk to us.”
“I have to go.”
“Not until Gavin says whatever it is you both know.”
I focused on Gavin after Dante spoke. “Go on, tell them.”
Gavin inhaled, then exhaled a deep breath and said, “I got a woman pregnant.”
As sharp intakes filled the room, I laughed, clapped my hand on his shoulder, and said, “Good luck, buddy.”
“I’m gonna redden your arse for this later.”
I walked out of the room shaking my head, and when I heard footsteps behind me, I calmly said, “Go away, Damien.”
“How’d you know it was me?”
Because I can sense you.
“Just had a feelin’ it was.”
He hesitated. “Please, talk to me. I miss you so much.”
I closed my eyes.
“Give me more time.”
“How much more time do you need?” he impatiently inquired. “Jesus, Alannah, I’m going fucking crazy without you. I know you are, too. I know you love me as much as I love you. I know you do, freckles.”
My heart pounded in my chest.
“You’ve lost weight, and I can tell by your eyes that you haven’t been sleeping.” He continued. “I hate that you are feeling this way because of me.”
“Not just you.”
“It’s all because of me,” he stressed. “Everything that happened is my fault.”
What does he mean by that?
My hands began to tremble.
“Damien, give me more time.”
“Okay,” he relented softly. “Okay, but please, take care of yourself if you won’t let me do it for you. I love you, Alannah.”
I left Kane and Aideen’s apartment then and hurried down to mine. I made it inside and closed the door behind me before I broke down and fell into a mess of tears. This was killing me. Feeling so dejected and ruined was killing me. I wasn’t sure how long I cried for, but when Barbara mewled from inside the kitchen, I pulled myself together and got on with my nightly routine. I fed Barbara, cleaned out her litter tray, then changed into my work clothes and got back to working on a new painting of Damien.
I had just got his inquisitive grey eyes perfect when my doorbell rang. My instinct told me it was Damien, so I put my things down and went to answer the door. I pulled it open and said, “Damien, I … You’re not Damien.”
“No,” Kane answered. “I’m much better lookin’.”
I opened my mouth to talk but couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Cat got your tongue?”
I cleared my throat. “You’re the last person I expected to see.”
“Does that mean you’ll let me in?”
“Why?” I questioned. “D’ye want to have a starin’ contest?”
His lips quirked. “No, I want to talk to you.”
“Like a conversation?”
“Yeah, like a conversation.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you capable of that?”
“Ha-ha-ha, you’re hilarious.”
I turned and walked into my sitting room. I knew Kane followed me the second my apartment door closed. I sat on my settee, pulled a throw blanket around my body, and switched on the television. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kane take a seat on the settee facing me.
“How are you holding up?”
“Surprisingly well considerin’ me so called friends are a bunch of lyin’ rat bastards.”
Kane whistled. “You’re hurtful when you’re mad.”
“Good,” I quipped. “I hope I make you cry.”
We both knew I couldn’t make Kane cry, but the thought alone made me feel better.
“Alannah.” He sighed. “We all love you; it’s why we did what we did.”
“You love me?” I repeated with a laugh. “Kane, you can barely tolerate me.”
“That was when you were a kid,” he corrected. “You came into me life at a time when I was just used to being in my brothers’ company. When Dominic and Bronagh hooked up, everything changed. Ryder and Branna got together, then Alec met Keela, and I found my Aideen. I’m quiet, and I sometimes can’t handle being around everyone all at once, but if I had to choose someone, apart from Aideen, to be stuck in a room with for a week flat, it’d be you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re you.” He shrugged. “You’ve never made me feel uncomfortable or made me feel like I had to strike up a conversation to keep things from being awkward. All of the other girls have made me feel like that at some point even though they don’t mean to, but not you. You’re easy to be around.”
“Easy to manipulate and lie to, you mean.”