“It’s okay,” I assured her. “Take your time.”
“Cancer has grown in the milk duct in me left breast,” she explained, her voice a little shaky. “Stage one means that cancer is present, but it is contained to the area where the first abnormal cells developed. The doctor has assured me because it has been detected in the early stages, it can be very effectively treated.”
I nodded but didn’t speak. I couldn’t.
“The doctor said I have stage 1A, meanin’ that it hasn’t spread to me lymph nodes, so that is really good news.”
I took her word for it.
“Within my left breast, there is a small tumour, smaller than a peanut.”
Hearing the word tumour, no matter how small it was, was sickening to me and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying.
“The treatment proposed has to start immediately,” she continued. “Next week, to be exact.”
My breath caught.
“Ma.”
“It’s okay,” she said, squeezing my hand. “I’ll be havin’ a combination of surgery and radiation. Chemo is not recommended for this stage; that is reserved for the later stages when the cancer is tougher.”
I found myself bobbing my head as she spoke.
“The surgery I will be havin’ is scheduled for next Thursday, and it’s called a lumpectomy. The doctor will remove the tumour and as little breast tissue as possible.”
My heart thrummed wildly against my chest.
“I’ll start radiation four weeks from the date of me surgery. I’ll have it five days a week for five to six weeks, and after that, I’m home free until I go back for testin’ after six months to make sure nothin’ has returned.”
I didn’t realise I was trembling until my ma gripped my hand tightly.
“Honey,” she said. “Please, don’t be scared.”
“I can’t help it,” I swallowed. “Bein’ scared is what I’m good at.”
“No, it’s not,” Ma said firmly. “You’re a tough woman.”
I didn’t believe that.
“You are tough. You’re the one goin’ through this.”
“We’re goin’ through it together,” Ma stated. “Me, you, and your da. This is affectin’ all of us, so it’s okay to be scared, to feel overwhelmed. I’d be worryin’ if you weren’t.”
I exhaled a breath. “I’m just glad that a plan is in place.”
“Me too.”
“I’m goin’ to the hospital with you on your surgery day,” I informed her. “And to all your radiation appointments.”
“Okay, bear.” She smiled.
I swallowed. “I wish it were me instead of you, Ma.”
“Don’t you ever say that!” She said with blinding fear shining in her brown eyes at the possibility of me ever being as sick as her. “I’m glad it’s me and not you, d’ye hear me?”
I nodded.
“Because I have breast cancer, the chances of you havin’ it has risen, so I want you to go and get a breast check yearly if you can, okay? I know it’s recommended every three years for your age group, but I don’t care about that. We can’t be too careful.”
I agreed with her.
“I’ll arrange an appointment with me GP, okay?”
“Okay.” She relaxed. “Good.”
She froze when a meow came from the hall.
“That was a cat just then,” she said, her back straightening. “Did you leave the door open?”
“No,” I answered. “But I did bring a cat with me.”
Ma’s lips parted with surprise, so I quickly filled her in on how I came to have Barbara, and that she is healthy and had just received her first round of vaccinations. I got her from the hallway and carried her crate into the kitchen.
“She’s white,” Ma gushed as she peered into the crate. “And has one green eye and one blue eye. She’s so cute.”
“Right?”
“Hello, Barbara,” Ma cooed then tittered. “I can’t believe you called ’er Barbara.”
“I like it.” I smiled. “It suits ’er.”
Ma looked from Barbara inside her crate to me, and she stared at me, and when I chuckled she pointed her index finger at me.
“What’s goin’ on with you?” She jokingly demanded. “Why do you seem different?”
“Different?”
“Yeah, different. You keep smilin’ … like that! Look, you’re smilin’ again!”
I laughed, and shook my head.
“Tell me!”
“I may have sorted things out with Damien.”
Ma’s eyes widened. “Meanin’?”
“Meanin’ we’re together.” I blushed. “Boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“What?” Ma screeched, then lowered her voice as to not scare Barbara. “How did that happen?”
“We talked,” I answered. “We like each other and want to be together, so we’re together.”
“This is such a turn of events,” Ma said, placing a hand on her chest. “Wasn’t he punchin’ Aideen’s brother the other day for sleepin’ with you?”
I cringed. “Yeah … but that’s in the past.”
At the mention of Dante, I made a mental note to tell him about my new relationship status. Not to rub it in his face—he mostly will be happy that I’m happy—but I wanted him to respect Damien and not throw our previous involvement in his face because that was just a low thing to do.