“You’re an eejit,” I said to Gavin. “A massive one.”
“I know,” he said. “God, I’m so dead.”
“You’re twenty-four,” I reminded him. “I don’t think you can get a hidin’ for gettin’ a girl pregnant.”
Gavin scoffed a laugh. “You don’t know me brothers and sister as well as you think you do if that’s the case.”
“This is your responsibility, not theirs, and if they have somethin’ to say, listen and then tell them to feck off.”
“Can you be with me when I tell them?”
“Me? No. I’d probably die of fear on your behalf. Aideen scares the shite outta me when she’s mad.”
Gavin burst into laughter before he hooked his arm around my shoulder and leaned in, kissing my temple.
“We don’t hang out enough.”
“No,” I agreed when he leaned back against the cushion, pulling me with him. “We don’t, and whose fault is that?”
Gavin noted my tone and sighed. “Don’t start, bear. I’m not in the mood.”
Apart from my parents, Gavin was the only other person who called me bear.
“No, I will start,” I said, annoyed. “How did we go from seein’ each other every day to seein’ each other maybe once or twice a week, if even?”
“I’m busy,” Gavin answered. “Ye’know that.”
“No, I don’t know that ’cause whenever I ask what you’re doin’, you don’t answer me.”
“Ye’know I can’t talk about what I do when I’m with the lads,” Gavin said sternly. “I told you, don’t ask ’cause I’m not talkin’ about it.”
I shook my head. “I think you shouldn’t hang around with people and do God knows what if it’s takin’ you away from your family and friends.”
Gavin frowned at me. “I’m not bein’ takin’ away from you, bear.”
A lump formed in my throat. “What if you’re involved in somethin’ one day, like somethin’ you can’t talk about, and it does take you away?”
His frown deepened, and when he saw my eyes well with tears, his lips parted.
“Please, please, don’t cry.”
Too late.
“I worry about you,” I said, wiping my tears before they had a chance to splash onto my cheeks. “I know you don’t trust me enough to confide in me about things—”
“You’re the first person who popped into me head when Kalin told me she was pregnant.” Gavin cut me off. “Not Aideen, not me brothers, not Bronagh. You, Alannah.”
I snivelled. “I suppose.”
“We’ve been friends a long time, and we’ll always be friends,” Gavin assured me, tugging me closer to him. “Just because I can’t talk about work doesn’t mean I don’t trust you, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“You’re me girl.” Gavin gave me a squeeze. “If I didn’t love you like a sister, I’d have tried me hand in bein’ your lad a long time ago.”
I shoved him jokingly while making a face of complete disgust.
“If I didn’t know any better,” he teased, “I’d think you were repulsed by me.”
“Only if I have to think of you sexually.”
I heaved, for good measure, and Gavin laughed. He didn’t need me to tell him how good looking he was because I was sure he knew it. I just couldn’t ever imagine him in a sexual way; I couldn’t do it with any of the Slater brothers either. Well, except one of those brothers.
“I have somethin’ to tell you.”
Gavin eyed me. “You aren’t shaggin’ Harley or JJ ... are you?”
I slapped his arm as he laughed at me.
“Be serious.”
“Okay.” He chuckled. “Proceed.”
“I’ve two things to tell you, but I’ll start with the lighter one.” I exhaled a breath. “Damien kissed me yesterday in the back room of the garage before he and Dante fought, and I kissed ’im back.”
Gavin whistled. “Did that fuck your head up more than it already was?”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “When we spoke a little last night, he said he’d wait for me to decide if I want to try bein’ with ’im, and of course, me mind thinks of everythin’ that happened between us and automatically shuts it down because I’m scared of history repeatin’ itself. But then I spoke to Bronagh, and she said Damien would go as slow as I needed.”
“You’d have to go slow,” Gavin pressed. “You don’t know each other at this point in your lives. People can change in six years for the better or for the worse. Startin’ fresh makes sense.”
I nodded in agreement. “It doesn’t make me any less scared, though.”
Gavin patted my leg. “What’s meant to be will be.”
“Aideen said that to me yesterday!”
“Now I know where I got that sayin’ from then.” He chuckled. “What’s the second thing you wanted to tell me?”
My ma flashed across my mind, and I swallowed. I clasped my hands together on my lap and focused my breathing.
“Me ma is sick.”
Gavin froze, his eyes widening ever so slightly. “Sick?”
“Really sick.”
His lips parted but no words or sounds escaped.
“Breast cancer,” I managed to say around the lump in my throat. “It’s in the early stages.”