I relaxed a little bit, but seconds later I jolted as a bang sound went off during the music, followed by two more bangs. An image from my nightmare flashed across my mind, and I screamed.
You don't deserve him.
I cried out at my own voice repeating those dreaded words to me in my head. I jumped up off my bed and ran to the corner of my room. I slid down against the wall until my behind touched the ground. I drew my knees up to my chest and placed my forehead on my knees and covered my head with my hands.
“Stop,” I cried. “Please. Stop.”
My nightmare was playing over and over in my mind, and it made me feel sick with fear. I heard another bang and I screamed again, but this one was different, it sounded like something hitting a hard surface.
“Keela?” Alec's shout floated into my mind.
“No!” I cried out knowing what was coming.
I was going to see him die.
I screamed when I felt hands touch me. “Stop. Please. Leave me alone. Get out of me head!”
The hands tightened on my arms. “Kitten, I'm here.”
“Alec, just hold her.” Bronagh's familiar voice filled my ears. “It's the nightmare, she is relivin' it in her conscious state.”
“Nightmare?” Alec repeated. “What nightmare?”
I heard a whimper. “She's been havin' them since last year... whatever she went through... it's hauntin' her.”
Aideen.
“I'm fine,” I whispered.
I didn't want to upset anybody and hearing them talk even though they were talking about me, focused my mind on my reality. What I thought was happening really wasn't. It wasn't real. It was in my mind.
That was the problem though—I didn't want it on my mind.
I wanted it gone.
“She's been having nightmares? I didn't know,” Alec said, his voice broken.
“None of us did, she only told us today,” Bronagh's voice said.
I blew out a breath. “I'm fine,” I said louder this time.
I lifted my head and opened my eyes finding all of my family standing close to me.
“I heard a bang and me mind... it just turned on me, but I'm fine now.”
Alec helped me to my feet and I flushed with embarrassment.
“Please don't tell me everyone heard me?” I asked.
“Dunno, Alec kicked them out,” Bronagh said and shot a glare his way.
Alec ignored Bronagh and focused on me. “We need to talk.”
Oh, God.
I nodded my head.
Alec shot a look at the others and one by one they got the hint and filed out of our room.
“Love you,” Aideen said to me.
I slighty smiled. “Love you too.”
She closed the door after her and left Alec and myself alone in our room.
“Nightmares, really Keela?” Alec began. “Why didn't you tell me?
I frowned. “I didn't want to worry you. I thought I could handle them. I thought they would go away.”
“But they haven't?”
I shook my head. “I have them weekly. Sometimes twice a week. They're about... Darkness.”
Alec lifted his hands to his face and scrubbed them. “About what you saw?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, but also... somethin' different.”
Alec looked at me and waited for me to explain.
I walked over to our bed and sat down, but Alec remained standing in front of me.
“At the start of the nightmare I wake up in a hallway with blood on the walls and lots of turns, and lots of doors. I know the hallway, but can't remember where it is durin' the nightmare. When I wake up, I realise it’s the hallways from Darkness. I walked them once when I was pulled out of the room we were being kept in with Bronagh... Do you remember?”
“Yes.”
I nodded my head. “Yeah, well I'm there and I can hear someone callin' out to me, beggin' me to help them. I know the voice, but can't pin it to a person.” I looked down. “The voice is yours, and I learn that a shadow figure is hurtin' you and you're callin' out for me to help you, but I can't. I try… I try to run as fast as I can, but I'm never quick enough... You die in the nightmare, every time. The shadow figure shoots you in the head.”
Alec kneeled before me and took my shaking hands in his.
“Your brothers appear after that, and they blame me for your death. They accuse me of lettin' you die because I didn't love you. They... attack me then I switch and end up in the centre of Darkness in front of Marco. His hands are covered in blood, and I think he is the one to cover the hallway walls in blood. You brothers hold me down and tell Marco to kill me for not savin' you. I look up and Marco is gone, the shadow figure is there, but it's not just a shadow figure anymore it's me. The terror is me, I shoot myself in the head and then I wake up.”
I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to Alec's.
“I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. Do you understand me?” Alec asked.
I nodded my head.
“Tell me you understand,” he said, his voice firm.
“I understand,” I whispered.
He let go of my hands and cupped my face. “We're going to get you help for this. We aren't going to brush it under the carpet. This can be helped.”
I nodded my head. “Okay,” I whispered.
Alec sighed and kissed my head. “I wish I knew you were having nightmares, I wouldn't have rushed you into moving in here so quickly.”
I blinked. “Do you mean that?” I asked.
Alec furrowed his eyebrows. “That I wouldn't have rushed you?”
I nodded.
“Of course I wouldn't have.”
I opened my mind then and said, “You wouldn't rush me... with anythin' else then would you?”
“No, I wouldn't,” Alec said, a perplexed expression on his face.
“Okay,” I said, breathing easier.
Alec focused his eyes on mine. “What's on your mind? Why are you asking these questions?”
This was it.
This was the opportunity to tell Alec my feelings.
I didn't even hesitate, I looked him in the eye and said, “I don't want to get married.”
Everything stopped as I waited for Alec's reply.