“I’m hungry.” Alec sighed.
Food.
“That’s it,” I said looked at Alec. “I think he’s hungry.”
“I’m hungry,” he repeated.
I gave him his teddy bear. “Hold teddy, and I’ll go get you and Kane food, okay?”
Alec widened his eyes. “No, take Kane.”
I frowned. “Alec—”
“No,” he snapped and hid under the covers of his bed.
I wiped away tears that filled my eyes. Alec didn’t like it when he was on his own with Kane when he was crying. It scared him, and I knew that. It scared me too, but I had no one to help me, so there was nothing I could do. I had to take him with me.
“I’ll bring him with me,” I said to my brother. “You just stay here, okay? I’ll bring you food.”
“‘Kay.”
Alec remained under his blanket with his teddy as I hoisted Kane off the bed and carried him out of the room. Kane rested his head on my shoulder as he cried, and I had my arms wrapped tightly around him. My heart beat so fast against his chest when I thought of him falling. I was terrified of him being hurt, but I was even more scared of my dad finding out because he would kick me again. He always kicked me when he was mad at me.
My tummy hurt just thinking about it. It was dark as I walked down the hallway, down the stairs, and into the kitchen. I turned on the light, and by now, I was sobbing right along with Kane. I wanted my parents so bad, but I didn’t know where to look for them. Everywhere was silent except for Kane’s cry. They weren’t home; I knew they weren’t.
I had to lay Kane down on the cold floor as I quickly got milk and yogurts from the refrigerator. I grabbed one of Kane’s empty bottles, filled it to the top with milk, then put it into the microwave for a few seconds. I remembered our nanny making my his milk too hot one day, and it took a long time for it to cool down, so I opened the door every five seconds to check how hot it was. When it was nice and warm, I took the bottle out and tightened the top of it. I picked Kane up and hugged him to my chest. I grabbed his bottle and the packet of yogurts and quickly left the room. When I got back into the bedroom, Alec was still under the covers, but he popped his head out when he heard Kane’s cry.
I quickly put Kane on the bed, then climbed up next to him. Pulling him onto my lap, I put his bottle against his lips. His hands latched onto the bottle as he drank. The relief I felt that he was no longer crying made me sniffle, but I used my free hand to wipe my face. I watched as Alec broke off a yogurt tub, opened it, and used his finger to eat it because I forgot to bring a spoon. He ate two tubs before he sat back and watched Kane drink his bottle with sleepy eyes.
“Kane’s sad.”
“He was just hungry and needed his diaper changed. He’s okay.”
I hoped, anyway.
Alec frowned. “You are sad.”
His eyes were on my cheeks where I knew some tears still dampened my skin.
“I’m okay.” I smiled big just to prove it.
Alec blinked. “I’m scared. I want Mama.”
I swallowed. “When you wake up, Mama will be here, okay?”
He nodded and said nothing further. I looked from him, to Kane, then around the room. I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that they were in here alone, so I looked back at Alec and said, “Grab the rest of the yogurts and come with me. We’re sleeping in my room tonight.”
Usually, I had to say things a few times for Alec to understand what I meant because he was still only a baby, but right then he didn’t need to be told twice. I held Kane in my arms, ignoring that they burned from carrying him, and Alec had a death grip on my pyjamas pants as we walked out of his bedroom, down the dark hallway, and into my room. My brother ran and jumped up onto my bed, burrowing his way under the covers. I smiled as I closed my bedroom door and joined him with Kane. When he was finished with his bottle, I fed him some yogurts until he got that sleepy look in his eyes. I wiped his face with my sleeve, settled him under the covers between me and Alec, who was already asleep, and I stared at the both of them for a very long time.
I turned my head as looked at my bedroom door when I suddenly heard voices. The sounds were faint, but then they got loud as footsteps passed by my door. I knew the laughter belonged to my parents, and I waited for them to go to my brothers’ room to check on them, but when I heard their bedroom door open and close, a pain spread across my chest. They should have checked on my brothers, realised they weren’t there, then run to my room to see if they were with me ... but they didn’t.