When it was time for the women to hug Aideen, they all cried uncontrollably, even Alannah who was usually the best of them for controlling her emotions. I was thoroughly amused but touched because I felt the love of every person in the room for my son, for Aideen, and for me. I watched as every person fell in love with my child, and it only caused my love for them to grow.
I didn’t know how long everyone stayed, a few hours or so, but by the time they left, even Branna after she checked on Aideen and the baby once more, my girl was close to falling asleep sitting up. She had just finished feeding the baby again and settled back into our bed when she was suddenly lost in thought. She locked eyes on me as I folded up the birthing pool having drained it earlier, and I froze.
“Kane?”
“Hmmm?”
She tiredly blinked. “Where were ye’ all day today?”
I stopped moving, stopped breathing.
“Kane?”
I felt every muscle in my body tense as worry flooded me.
“What?” I asked as if I hadn’t heard her.
“Alec was callin’ ye’ for ages, Ryder too, but neither of ye’ answered. Where were ye’?”
“I was in the gym for about two hours.”
Aideen’s voice was soft when she said, “And for the other hours?”
I placed the birthing pool back in its container just to give me something to do before I turned to face her. The picture before me was one I had come to long for after I fell in love with Aideen and waited for my son to grow inside her body. She was the very definition of perfection as she sat on our bed under the covers with our son nestled against her chest.
“I was helping Ryder move ... some stuff.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and my heart broke knowing I was hurting her.
“Kane.”
I took a step forward. “I swear if I knew you would be having the baby today I wouldn’t have left your side.”
She held my hand up in the air. “Stay where ye’ are.”
I wanted to disregard that demand, but I didn’t. I remained where I was.
Slowly, Aideen said, “Ye’ were movin’ drugs or weapons ... weren’t ye’?”
I opened my mouth, prepared to lie to her, but I closed it when no words came out. Tears fell onto her cheeks at my silence, and I had to ball my fists to keep from moving to her side.
“Please let me come to you.”
Aideen shook her head. “I was in labour all day ... and ye’ were out helpin’ Ryder with that horrible stuff.”
I swallowed. “I’m—”
“Your brothers held me hands, listened to me scream and curse at them, and did everythin’ in their power to help me. They never left me side the entire time. They were scared shitless, but they were there for me.”
“Aideen,” I whispered, feeling my own eyes well with tears.
I was ashamed, and I needed her to forgive me for not being there when she needed me most.
“Ye’ almost missed him comin’ into this world, Kane.”
I couldn’t hold her gaze anymore, so I looked down to my feet instead.
“I’m disgusted with myself for not being here for it all.”
She was disgusted with me too. I knew she was.
“What did I tell ye’?”
I looked up at her, feeling confused.
“I told ye’ I wouldn’t be with ye’ when you’re attached to that life.”
Panic rose within me, and I suddenly felt faint.
“Please,” I pleaded. “Please forgive me. I won’t do it again. I won’t help Ryder ever again. I swear on my life.”
Aideen’s expression was blank, and it scared me half to death.
“I think ye’ should leave,” she said, her jaw tight.
She was breaking up with me.
“Aideen,” I choked and stumbled forward until my knees knocked into our bed. “Please, I’m begging you, don’t do this.”
Please, don’t do this, baby doll.
“I didn’t do anythin’. You did,” she replied with a shake of her head. “I’ve asked ye’, no I’ve begged ye’, repeatedly, to tell me what you and Ryder were up to, and I’ve pleaded with ye’ not to be involved with it ... but ye’ completely ignored me. Ye’ said it wouldn’t take ye’ from me, but it has. Ye’ almost missed the birth of your son for it ... was it worth it?”
No.
“I’m so sorry,” I cried. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
Aideen remained cold towards me, and it made me want to scream.
“No, I’m sorry, Kane,” she said with a shake of her head. “I’m sorry I let this go so far. I truly thought your love and respect for me would be enough for ye’ to do the right thing, but I’m obviously not worth it. Ye’ chose somethin’ dangerous, illegal, and plain disgustin’ over me.”
She looked down to her left hand, wiggled the engagement ring off her finger and threw it to the end of the bed where it landed before me. With my heart in my throat, I looked from the ring to Aideen in what I knew was disbelief. She was breaking up with me. She was really breaking up with me.