She gasped, but from the way her pupils dilated, I knew she liked the sound of that.
“If ye’ say anythin’ like that to me again, I’ll ... I’ll ...”
“You’ll what, kitten?”
She didn’t answer me. She just glared up at me.
“She’ll kick your ass from the looks of things,” Kane commented, then left the room with the food he’d gathered from the fridge.
I swallowed at I stared down at her. She was stunning. Big green eyes, pink lips, a juicy fuller lower lip, and snow white skin that had light brown freckles sprinkled across it. Her hair looked the colour of a summer’s sunset, and the contrast of it against her fair skin was beautiful.
“You’re a real man, ye’ know that?”
“I’m all man, baby.”
“No,” Keela said with a shake of my head. “I mean you’re a man. Like a caveman.”
I had never been called that before.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Yes and no.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying. Is it bad or is it good? Be straight with me.”
Dominic laughed, and said, “Wrong thing to ask a woman, big bro.”
I spared him a glance. “What the hell do you know about women?”
“More than you.”
I had more notches on my bedpost that this little shit times two.
I smiled. “Be serious, Dominic.”
“I’m the one who has an actual girlfriend out of the pair of us. You have just fucked your way through an endless line of pussy since you were fifteen. You’ve never had to deal with a woman when it hasn’t come to sex ... not when you weren’t working anyway.”
Well, he had me there.
I regarded him. “Fine. Since you know so much, enlighten me, Yoda.”
Dominic rubbed his hands together. “I’m giving you a crash course in what I like to call The Man Bible. It contains all the secret meanings to what women actually mean when they speak. So listen to me very carefully,” he stressed. “It is almost impossible for men to understand it, but a lucky handful of us know the true meanings of words women use as weapons, and I am about to impart this wisdom to you, bro.”
Well, he had my complete and utter attention now.
“The first word is ‘Fine.’ When a woman says this during an argument, she knows she is right and that you are very wrong. She is not fine —you’re not fine, nothing is fine.”
I frowned. “But what about if she is wrong—”
“No,” Dominic interrupted. “Do not talk back when she says something is fine; wait until she is calm to mention that she might be wrong. I usually wait a week before I mention things about past fights.”
“Okay, fine doesn’t really mean fine. Got it.” I waved my hand. “What else, love doctor?”
“Second word is ‘Nothing.’ By the might of God, when a woman says nothing is wrong, something is definitely fucking wrong.”
I looked at Keela. “I’m starting to believe that one.”
“The third word is ‘Whatever.’ This is another way for ladies to say fuck you.”
Keela giggled, making my brother grin as he popped up an extra finger. “The fourth is a sentence. When a woman says ‘It’s okay, don’t worry about it,’ you do worry about it. You worry a lot because she is thinking of a way to make you pay for whatever you did wrong.”
I was perplexed. “Why would they say that if they don’t mean it?”
“I think it’s some sort of mind trick.” Dominic shrugged. “They use that sentence as an illusion that things between you are okay, but when you least expect it, they strike like a viper and wound your soul.”
This was fucking confusing.
“Why can’t they just say what they mean instead of giving words a double meaning?”
Dominic shrugged again. “I know the real meaning of certain things women say, but I don’t understand why they give them a double meaning. That is beyond my area of expertise, bro.”
I looked down at Keela, eyeing her. “I don’t like this.”
She looked innocent, but I had no doubt she could mind fuck me should she choose to do so.
“Okay, listen very carefully to this two-word sentence. I’m serious, Alec. If you’re going to remember any of what I just said remember this—it might just save your life.”
I leaned forward, suddenly desperate to know this piece of information.
“When a woman tells you to ‘Go ahead,’ you do not under any circumstances go ahead. You’re retreat to a safe distance and observe the situation very carefully. She is daring you to do something, not giving you permission.”
Keela cracked up laughing, and it made me chuckle, and say, “I guess you laughing means all of that was bullshit?”
“No, the opposite.” She wiped under her eyes. “It was spot-on, and that’s why it’s so funny.”
I stared down at her, and it struck me at that moment just how little experience I had with women when it came to everything but sex. Dominic was right; if sex wasn’t on the table, I never had any kind of relationship with a woman. Now that I had a fake girlfriend, I needed to be on my A game. I didn’t want to fuck things up for Keela when she was showing this asshole Jason up. I wanted to be the best fake boyfriend she ever had. With my mind made up, I focused on Dominic, and said, “We need to have a serious conversation, little brother.”