I decided it was best for me to leave before I said something that would upset one of us, most likely me.
“I think I’m going to go up to bed before I fall asleep down here.”
That was a cold-hearted lie. I was so wired being in his company, and it was freaking me out.
“Go ahead. I’ll stay down here until your parents and brothers get in.”
What did I do to deserve his generosity? I thought, then frowned when my mind sneered, Nothing.
I got to my feet and shifted from foot to foot.
“Thank you, Kale.”
He gazed up at me. “You don’t have to thank me, Laney Baby – I’ve got you.”
My heart thudded against my chest, surprisingly still working.
“Laney Baby,” I mused. “That won’t ever change, will it?”
Kale smiled, shook his head and said, “Things haven’t changed around here, kid.”
I glanced around and frowned. “Are you sure? Because from where I’m standing, everything is different.”
“I’m the same,” he replied, and licked his lips. “Mostly, anyway.”
I looked at him, really looked at him, and found him staring right back at me, his hazel eyes focused on mine.
“Everyone changes, Kale. Nothing stays the same forever,” I murmured.
He frowned. “Have you changed?”
He looked, and sounded, like it pained him to ask that question.
I reluctantly nodded. “I’m not the same Lane you once knew, pup.”
Surprisingly, my answer brought a glorious smile to his face. It was the kind of smile that caused butterflies to flutter in my stomach, my heart to beat fast and my breath to catch.
It was a true thing of beauty.
“My Lane is still in there somewhere,” he said, his tone matter-of-fact. “Only she would call me ‘pup’.”
I always called him that because he had the biggest puppy-dog eyes I had ever seen, and that was one thing about him that would never change. The glint in them had, but not the size.
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I gave him a small smile and bid him goodnight. When I got into my bedroom, I closed the door behind me, pressed my back against the wood, then sank down to the ground and stared into the darkness.
He called me his. Kale said I was his Lane.
I shook my head at that because I wasn’t his. You could never belong to someone without owning a piece of him or her in return, and I’d learned the hard way that I didn’t own any part of Kale. I had a memory of what owning him was like, but that was it. And that memory was fading. Fast.
CHAPTER TEN
Seventeen years old (nine years ago)
My brothers were going to bloody kill me.
Layton might be reasoned with, but not Lochlan, who would run through me like a murderous bull. Even Kale would tear me a new one when he understood how I’d lied to my parents and snuck out to a party instead of staying over at my friend’s house like I’d told them I was going to.
The plan was unassailable – that was until my brothers, Kale and their friends walked into said party.
“I’m so dead,” I whispered to myself as I sat on the lid of the toilet of the upstairs bathroom.
I was in this massive house on the edge of town, where a huge party happened a few times a year. I had heard about them over the last two years from older girls at school, and they were always ragers. The man and woman who owned the house were always away on business, so their son had parties to keep from being bored.
I regretted ever agreeing to come, even though I was having fun before my brothers and Kale showed up. No amount of fun was worth dealing with the three of them when they were mad at me, though.
“Lane?” a familiar voice whispered through the bathroom door; then three hard knocks rapped against the wood.
It was Lavender.
Lavender Grey – that was her real name – was my friend. She’d moved down the road from me nearly two years ago, and we instantly became friends. She showed up in my life shortly after everything went to hell with Anna and Ally. I was so happy when she didn’t take to either of them or any of the other mean girls in our year at school; she saw them and their true colours without me having to tell her they could be nasty.
We hung out every single day and became best friends rapidly. She was unlike any other person I had ever met. She was straight-up honest and took no bullshit. The first day I’d met her, I was annoyed with Kale for ditching plans we had made at the last minute, and I literally bumped into her in the supermarket where Kale and I were supposed to meet. I mumbled an apology, and she said if I was going to say sorry, then I had to mean it. At first I thought she was a bit of a bitch, but I quickly found that she was up front and said what she thought, and I liked that. I liked how different she was from me. She didn’t keep things bottled up like I did; she was an open book.
She didn’t just distract me from Kale’s absence in my life, but helped me become more independent with her I-don’t-need-a-man-to-be-happy attitude. It rubbed off on me a little – not a lot because I was still obsessed with Kale, but enough to keep me from thinking about him every second of every day.
At that point in my life, Kale and my brothers only came home on weekends from their university in London, and sometimes they missed a weekend here and there. I was still close to them, but it wasn’t the same with Kale. After our shopping day out, things changed between us. I felt like I was losing him. He was currently broken up with Drew and was off doing God knows what with God knows who in London, while I was stuck in York with my parents, uncle and nanny for company. If it wasn’t for Lavender coming into my life, I may have just up and died of loneliness and boredom.
“Lane,” Lavender’s voice hissed. “Let me in.”
I got to my feet and unlocked the door, stepping to the side so she could enter. I quickly relocked it, much to the displeasure of houseguests on the other side who needed to use the facilities.
“Hurry bloody up!” a voice shouted, and there was banging on the door.
“One more minute!” I called out.
I looked from the door to Lavender, and when I saw her hands were empty, my face fell.
“I’m sorry.” Lavender winced when she saw my expression. “I tried to find you something to wear, but it’s only a boy that lives here, and the girl clothes I found in his room – that I assume belong to a girlfriend – are in a size bloody four.”
“Shit,” I groaned, and placed my face in my hands before dropping them and looking down to my attire.
I was wearing a washed-out denim miniskirt and a black crop top that had “TEASE” printed across the front in white block letters. It was a stupid decision to wear such revealing clothing. I didn’t like the stares or advances from random guys at the party, and I had only myself to blame.
They wouldn’t have looked twice at me if I’d worn my regular clothes, and my thick-framed glasses. At the thought of my glasses, I lifted my hands to my eyes and gently rubbed them, wincing at the sting. I was wearing a pair of contact lenses my parents had recently got me, but I hated them. They made my eyes feel very uncomfortable.
“I shouldn’t have worn these clothes,” I mumbled as I sat back down on the lid of the toilet.
Lavender was sporting a similar outfit to mine, only instead of a miniskirt she wore short shorts. Now she hunkered down as best she could next to me and placed her hands on my bare thighs.
“You look seriously hot, and you wanted to try something different – there’s no harm in that. You don’t ever have to wear clothes like this again, or ever come to a party again, but at least you can rest assured that you did something teenagery in your bookish life.”
I raised a brow. “‘Teenagery’ isn’t a word, Lav.”
“I know it’s not,” she huffed. “You’re missing the point here, Bookworm.”
Bookworm: that’s what she called me.
I chuckled. “I’m not. I hear you loud and clear, an
d I agree with you, but my brothers and Kale won’t.”
She grunted. “Your brothers I can understand, but Kale cannot rag on you for this.”
“You don’t know Kale,” I mumbled.
She stood up and stuck out her hand to me just as someone rapped on the bathroom door and shouted, “Hurry up in there!”
I placed my hands in Lavender’s and sighed as she pulled me to my feet.
“Don’t frown – we might be able to sneak out of here without being spotted,” she said with a wink.
I nodded and tried to remain optimistic.
“Just stay close to me and don’t look up.”
I used my free hand to salute Lavender, then followed her out of the bathroom once she opened the door. I grunted as two lads both rushed by two girls waiting in the queue for the toilet and knocked into me.
“Arseholes!” Lavender snapped at them and tugged me closer to her.
We wound around body after body of the people who littered the hallway, until we came to the top of the staircase. I blew out a nervous breath, and Lavender gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before she took the lead and began to descend the steps.
When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Lavender suddenly came to a halt, which caused me to walk straight into her back. My face hit the back of her head, and I yelped in pain. I instinctively let go of Lavender’s hand and lifted both of mine to my throbbing nose.
“What are you doing here?” Lavender snapped at someone.
I heard a male chuckle. “I’m here to have a good time. No doubt you are too, dressed in that outfit, babygirl.”