“Would ye’ feel better if it was someone we know who helped me?”
That got my better half’s full attention.
“Who do you have in mind?”
“Bronagh,” I answered with a shrug. “She’s surprisingly handy on a computer; she’s been helpin’ me since everythin’ with Morgan went to shite. The only thing I can credit ‘im with is how organised he made everythin’. Me and Bee have just been followin’ the system he set up, and it’s workin’ a charm. I’ve never had so many clients book me in advance. I mean, ye’ve seen me calendar. I’m booked for the next seven months with projects. The only time I can make room for someone is when I have a cancelation.”
The second I finished speaking, Damien leaned over and surprised me by covering my mouth with his. When he pulled back, I blinked.
“Not that I don’t love you kissin’ me whenever ye’ want, but what was that for?”
“For suggesting Bee help you instead of a stranger,” he answered, and I could see the relief in his grey eyes. “Please hire her. It will make me feel immensely better if Bronagh helps you and not a newcomer.”
He just made my decision for me.
“Then I’ll ask ‘er,” I said, snuggling into his side. “Ye’ need to relax about this, though, Dame. It’s not healthy to be lookin’ over your shoulder every two seconds, thinkin’ someone is gonna snatch me away from ye’.”
I felt like a hypocrite for telling him to relax when I worried about the same thing. Only not me being taken from him, but him being taken from me.
“I can’t help fearing that.” He sighed. “Jesus, Lana, I can’t imagine my life without you. I’d be broken … good for absolutely nothing if I lost you.”
I moved, cocked my leg over his body, and straddled him, placing my hands on either side of his face.
“I’m ‘ere with you, Dame,” I said, leaning in and resting my forehead against his. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, sweetheart.”
Damien closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. I looked into his eyes when he opened them, and I smiled. His breath caught a little.
“You’re beautiful.”
I ducked my head, making him chuckle.
“Alannah?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you marry me?”
I leaned back and looked down at him as I said, “No.”
Damien looked away from me; a deep hurt that he couldn’t hide played out on his face like the two other times he asked me to marry him in the past six months. And just like those two other times, saying no left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Damien,” I said, brushing my nose against his cheek. “You know how I feel about things movin’ too fast with us. I don’t want to jinx what we have.”
“Is what we have solid?” he asked, and when I nodded, he said, “Then why won’t you say yes when I ask you to marry me?”
“Because we’re together six months,” I stressed. “When we do things too fast, bad things happen, and I don’t want to ruin our relationship.”
“I want to marry you,” Damien pressed. “That’s not going to change. You said you wanted to marry me and have loads of babies. I want that now.”
I knew he wanted that. Especially now that Kane and Aideen had recently tied the knot in the city’s registry office and became husband and wife, quickly followed by Alec and Keela a week later who didn’t want a traditional church wedding. Ever since both couples got married, Damien had been adamant about us moving to the next stage of our relationship. He saw three of his brothers blissfully married with gorgeous kids, and his twin happily engaged with a beautiful child and expecting one more, and he wanted that badly.
“I do want to marry ye’ and have babies, but not right—”
“I’m going to be late for work.” He cut me off, the muscles in his jaw rolling back and forth. “I’d better get going.”
I didn’t move.
“Ye’ can’t just leave when we’re talkin’ about this, Damien,” I argued. “Nothin’ good comes from lettin’ a conversation like this lie. Ye’ know that.”
“We’ve said what needs to be said,” he countered. “I want to marry you, and you don’t want to marry me. I get it. Now, get off me because I have to go to work.”
Like the flip of a switch, my mood turned sour.
“You’re an arsehole,” I grouched as I scrambled off him and stormed out of the room, heading towards the bedroom. “Ye’ can’t resist startin’ a fight when ye’ don’t get what ye’ want.”
“I’m not bitching about not getting my way, Alannah,” Damien shouted from behind me. “I’m pissed off because you won’t take the next step with me.”
“Because I’m not ready yet!” I bellowed, turning in the bedroom doorway in time to see Damien reach for the handle of the front door. “Why can’t ye’ just wait a while?”