She found a table with a view of the snowcapped mountains. Graham sat across from her with nothing on his tray. “Where’s your food?” she asked.
He tilted his head slightly toward her tray, and her eyes followed. She had heaps of food, most of which she wouldn’t eat. “I figured you had enough for the both of us and knew you would be mad at yourself for being wasteful.”
Graham was right. Rennie slid her tray to the middle of the table. “Everything looked so good. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“No worries,” he told her as he pierced a piece of sausage with his fork.
“How was Thanksgiving? I meant to ask earlier.”
“Fine, given the circumstances of Grady not being there.”
“How’s your mom? I mean, how has she been? I’ve been meaning to stop by when I visit.”
Graham stilled. His fork lingered between food and nothingness. “She’s probably the strongest person I know. Do you remember the night we left to drive to Cape Harbor?”
Rennie nodded. She would never forget that night or the drive back to Washington. For hours upon hours, silence filled the car. They only spoke when it was time to stop or eat or when Graham suddenly slammed his hand against the steering wheel and screamed out “Why?” over and over again.
“We didn’t know all the details on the drive home. We didn’t know that my brother had been pulled from the water by a rescue boat and given CPR. The medics revived him, and once they were back to the dock, instead of getting into the ambulance, Grady dove back into the water. Friends, people who were there because word spread fast that there was something wrong, went in after him. He fought people, screaming at them to let him go. It was only then that he mentioned Austin.” Graham used the fork to move eggs around on the plate. It was as if he was trying to avoid making eye contact with Rennie.
“Why didn’t Grady tell them about Austin as soon as he was conscious?” Rennie leaned closer to Graham. “Why didn’t the rescue crew know about Austin?”
Graham looked up and set his utensil down. “I don’t know. I’ve asked Grady over the years about that night. He’s never come clean about what happened.”
“I feel like there’s something you’re trying to say here.”
He shrugged. “We know Austin left Brooklyn that night, broke up with her. We know he called Bowie and told him to go to Brooklyn. Grady has said it was Austin’s idea to take the boat out, but what if it wasn’t? What if it was Grady’s idea? We’ve had many accidents with our fishermen before, but none of them have turned out like Grady. Ren, he’s so far gone. What if this is guilt eating away at him?”
Rennie sat there, stunned. For the past fifteen years, she had known the story about Austin being the one to take the boat out on the raining night. She hated what-ifs, but Graham’s made sense. Of course, both thoughts were plausible, and only two people knew the truth. One was slowly killing himself, and the other was still missing and presumed dead.
She reached her hand out and took ahold of his. She wanted him to know she was there for him. So much of their lives had changed the night the call came in. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind if the accident hadn’t happened, she and Graham would still be in California. With him there, it gave her an excuse to stay. Once he left and never returned, she was alone.
Graham tossed his napkin on the table, and Rennie followed suit. He carried their trayful of dishes and half-eaten foods to the other side of the cafeteria and obeyed the instructions for composting, sorting, and where to put everything else.
On their way back to the ICU, Graham’s phone dinged with a new message. He glanced at the screen and frowned. “What’s wrong?” Rennie asked. Tempted as she was to look over his shoulder, she refrained from doing so.
“My mom says the cops are here to talk about Grady.”
“The cops? Why?”
Graham typed out a message and pocketed his phone. “I don’t know. Last night the doctor said he was found and brought by ambulance, but he never mentioned the police needing to speak with us.”
Rennie pulled Graham into an alcove and asked for all the details. She listened intently as he recounted what the doctor said when they arrived yesterday. After he finished, they made their way back to the ICU, where they waited for the double doors to open. They bypassed the waiting room and followed the nurse. The moment Rennie saw Johanna, tears formed. It had been years since she had seen Graham’s mother, a woman she had grown very fond of while growing up. The two women hugged for a long time. “I’m so sorry,” Rennie whispered.