“Yeah, but she also can’t ignore her dreams,” I add with a sigh. “I just miss her so much when she’s gone.”
“But it makes being together when you are even better,” Shea supplies with a grin. “But now, there is so much technology, it’ll be way easier.”
“And you guys were great through the last stint she did. You traveled to each other when you could and talked at every waking moment. What are you worried about?”
That she’ll love New York more than me.
I swallow hard, knowing good and well they’re right. Problem is, my insecurities are fucking with me. I can’t say that, though; I don’t want them to think I’m weak. They already think I’m spoiled, which I guess I am. Spoiled by the love and time of a great person whom I want to thrive and live her dreams. I love that she is talented. I love that when she sees something she wants, she works to get it. I love her drive, I love her passion—these are all qualities that make me fall for her over and over again. Everything she does, she does with passion, and it’s incredible to see. I know she’ll knock that role out of the park. She’ll leave people in awe because of her talent and need to be the best.
I just wish her dreams were here with me. Or of me with her.
“I just thought we were gonna focus on us, moving forward and all.”
“But you have to remember, you’re two individuals becoming one. That doesn’t mean that your drive or her dreams stop, if that makes sense,” Dad says, holding my gaze. “For shits and giggles, if you got traded, would you expect her to go with you?”
My stomach clenches. “I would, but I also wouldn’t want her to give up her ownership of the team.”
“Precisely. She’s young. She’s still trying to figure things out.”
“The great thing is,” Shea adds, cupping my shoulder, “she wants to do it all with you by her side. I know it’s hard to grasp. I know it’s frustrating that she lied, and that’s something you’ll need to discuss with her, but you also need to decide before you walk down that aisle if you are able to accept her being who she is as your wife.”
My heart stops at his accusation, but before I can even mutter anything, my dad is right there. “I don’t think there is an issue with that. He doesn’t want to be apart. He is very much behind her dreams and her desires.”
“Absolutely. I love Shelli, Shea. I want nothing but for her to have all the joy in the world. Like you guys said, I’ve been spoiled with her around so much, and it’s going to be hard to switch gears again.”
Shea nods slowly, though his gaze never leaves mine. “I trust you.”
His words are heavier than a frozen puck on a sheet of ice over a pond.
And I feel them as if he is shooting that puck straight into my nuts.
I swallow hard as I look away. I don’t want to let Shea or my dad down. I can’t even fathom doing that. Like Shelli, I strive to be the best. I regret walking away this morning. I should have stayed and talked. I should have fixed this before either of us could have let our minds wander and our fears jump in. I may not want to let my dad or Shea or even myself down, but I sure as hell don’t want to let Shelli down.
And I think I might have done just that.
Chapter 6
Shelli
It’s extremely hard to concentrate on the social media campaign I’ve been working on for months when I’m not sure where my fiancé’s head is at. I know Aiden, and I know when he gets truly upset, he can sometimes say things he doesn’t mean. There is no way in hell he feels that he isn’t enough for me. He is everything for me, and it really pisses me off that he said that. He has every right to be upset; I should have said something about the offer weeks ago, but instead, I sat on it. In all reality, I shouldn’t have expected anything less. We’re in love, truly and wholeheartedly. Long-distance sucks ass, but if anyone can make it work, it’s us.
Problem is, I’d said I’d retired. I’d made it seem like I was fine being home and working here. While a part of me loves my life here, I miss the stage. I understand the false sense of security I gave him. He was under the impression that I would be right there beside him, and while I intended to, I feel, deep inside of me, I would have been living a lie. The email with the offer proved that. I had to completely shut my phone down when I received it to keep from saying yes immediately. I want this role and I know I’ll be incredible in it, but if it comes down to my relationship with Aiden or the role, I’ll choose Aiden a million times over.