She holds up her hands. “Whoa there, buddy. I’m not ready to have kids. I assumed you weren’t either, but now you’re bringing that up?”
“Well, you can bring up leaving me for New York again. Why can’t I bring up kids?”
She blinks, her eyes so wide, they just might fall out. “Aiden, kids aren’t on the table for us right now. I want to enjoy us.”
“How, when you’ll be in New York?”
“That’s not fair. We made it work before.”
I shrug. “Well, maybe because I was under the pretense that it was the last time.” I turn to leave, but she’s right on my tail.
“So, what? You won’t make it work if I’m in New York?”
“I don’t want my wife gallivanting through New York, kissing whoever is playing Hamilton.”
“Oh, be real. For one, I don’t gallivant—”
“Shelli, all you do is gallivant! You are a gallivanter! Anyone who sees you will want you. And then what? I’ll be chopped liver.”
She throws her hands up in the air, her breasts bouncing, and I really don’t know how I am resisting her right now. I should get another Stanley Cup for this. “What in the hell? You’re not chopped liver. You’re everything. I won’t want them. I only want you. You, Aiden. You’re my forever.”
I shrug, reaching for my golf clubs. “But I’m apparently not enough in your life. You need more, and I don’t know how to grasp that.”
Her jaw drops, and before she can say anything, I go out the door, the clubs in my golf bag smacking into the doorframe. It’s so loud, but slamming the door behind me is louder. Or so I thought. The roar of her anger, my name like venom off her lips, shakes the walls. I fall back into the door, closing my eyes and pressing my lips together.
Damn it, why did I say that?
I want to open the door; I want to go back in there and figure this out, but I know I’ll say more that I shouldn’t.
No. We need to cool off.
I need to cool off and wrap my head around what the hell is actually happening.
Chapter 5
Aiden
I down my second beer as I lean back in the golf cart, while Shea and my dad shoot the shit with some buddies of theirs. I should probably get out and socialize, but I’m super in my feelings. My phone rang and dinged off the hook, but I ignored Shelli the whole way here. I even left my phone in the car, which is really going to piss off my lady, but I need some time to think. Probably should have hit the ice, skated off all this frustration, but here I am. About to golf with my dad and my future father-in-law.
I know I can talk to both Shea and my dad about the situation, but I don’t want to. I hate that I’m upset over this. It shouldn’t even be an issue. Shelli isn’t flighty or unsure of herself; she knows what she wants, and if she had just told me from the jump that she wasn’t finished with Broadway, then we would have readjusted. Now, though, I’ve gotten used to having her fly with me to all the games. I love lying in bed with her after a game and talking about it. What I could have done better, or what she saw that I didn’t. We are always home together for dinner, and that’s extremely important to me. I never had that growing up because my dad was gone all the time. Thankfully, Shelli’s and my schedules are the absolute same.
When she was in New York for Chicago, there would be days when we didn’t talk on the phone, only through text. She’d go out with friends for dinner, and I hated it because I wasn’t with her. She had a whole other life there, and I was jealous of it. I know I’m her number one, I know she loves me and wants only me, but what if that changes? What if she finds someone else better, and he’s able to line up his life with hers?
Fuck, I hate how insecure I am over this. I know she thinks we made it work the first go-round, but I basically just agreed with everything she wanted because I thought it was her last show. I thought she would be coming home to me for good and we’d start our lives together. But who am I to hold her back? She’s right; she’s beyond talented and successful. She belongs in the spotlight. Damn it, I know this and I love her for it, but I don’t know how to feel. Or how to even navigate this.
When Shea falls into the seat beside me, he pats my thigh as he gets ready to take off. “Alrighty, kid. Let’s play your last game of golf as a bachelor.”