“I don’t think he ever really wished to hurt you, Lucian.”
His face hardened as his dark gaze locked with hers. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions,
Evelyn. I could give two shits about what he did to me. The moment he hurt you, our friendship was
over.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. “Does knowing his feelings change anything for you?”
“Hell no. He’s a grown man who needs to deal with his shit on his own time. I—” He was suddenly
silent. “Is this why you said no?”
She met his gaze. He was furious. “I didn’t know if you knew and were maybe . . .” She shrugged,
and he turned and cursed.
“Evelyn,” he sighed and came to sit on the bed. “First of all, when I make love to you it’s always
you I see. Second, I never have, nor ever will I, want a man. I’m simply not that way. Since I met you
it’s only been you. I will never make love to you and think of anyone else, man or woman. And third,
the reason I enjoy fucking you that way is because I enjoy the psychological release it gives us. You
seemed tense. I wanted to get you out of your head.”
“But, Lucian . . . this was different.” She shook her head trying to pin down what was actually
bothering her. “The intimacy wasn’t there.”
His face softened. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to come off cold. I was intent on getting you to
relax. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel anxious.”
His dominance didn’t usually bother her like it had tonight. Perhaps he was stressed, but no matter
what he was going through, if he wanted the responsibility of her submission, something she wasn’t
altogether sure she was prepared to surrender, he needed to communicate with her.
She liked losing herself to him in moments of passion. She didn’t know if she’d ever allow herself
to completely let go, however. He swore she was submissive, but she was too mesmerized with the
idea of her independence. This trial period she was humoring him with wouldn’t make it another day
if he didn’t explain himself along the way, especially when she was feeling vulnerable.
“You can’t expect me to surrender if you don’t explain your intentions.”
His eyes flashed to hers. “I suppose I could be a bit more clear. You usually love when I touch you
like that.”
“There are always exceptions, Lucian. Some days I like soft, some days I like hard, but every day I like to feel I’m entitled to know what’s going on between us.”
“Understood,” he said, running his hand over her foot. “Do you understand why anal sex has a
different effect on you, Evelyn?”
She frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He took her hand. “Deny it all you want, but you are submissive at heart. You get bogged down with the outside worries of your world and need to let go, but don’t know how. When I take you— truly take you— you surrender those burdens. Anal sex just happens to be a very cut-and-dried way for a man to dominate a woman. If you pay attention to the times you crave it, it’s usually when you’re highly
stressed.”
He was right. “Oh.” She stared as his fingers wrapped around her ankle. They tightened until his
touch was all she could feel. “Perhaps I’m just feeling a bit . . . delicate . . . emotionally. I don’t like feeling the weight of other issues between us.”
His head tilted as he studied her for a long minute. His fingers traced down her neck. “I don’t like
that feeling either. I think we were both feeling the presence of other issues tonight and we should
have talked it through before we went to bed. I’m sorry I didn’t handle the situation more delicately.
I’ll try to be more aware. I know you’re giving a lot of yourself, and I need to look deeper than I do
sometimes.”
Her heart raced. There was something so sexy about an understanding Lucian. If he could truly be
that intuitive it made the temptation of surrender so much greater. This trial period was good. They
were both learning from the experience.
He pulled her close and continued to stroke her bare skin. “You see, it doesn’t have to be that way,
but I know you take pleasure from it as do I. It’s the adrenaline rush we get from the act, me exerting my strength over you, and you being placed in a vulnerable position where your only choice is
surrender, but the point is, you choose it. That choice is never taken from you, Evelyn.”
Perhaps she just needed to hear that.
Easing up, he gripped her other ankle and tugged her down the bed so she was lying flat on her back
as he towered over her, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Push me away,” he whispered.
She moved to press her palm against his chest, but he caught it before she made contact. Her arm