focused on the salvaged table and chairs she’d bought the other day. She didn’t know the first thing
about decorating. Stupidly, she said, “Maybe we can start with new placemats or something small.”
He was insane giving her that sort of authority.
“Whatever you want. I want my homes to be equally yours.”
But they aren’t.
“I want to take care of you, Evelyn. Every time you ask me for something, whether it’s to come to
your rescue or simply kiss you good night, it gives me a rush, a feeling of purpose I’ve never
experienced before. I want you to be independent and focused on bettering yourself so that you’re
happy, but I like that you need me. I want it to be my responsibility to keep you safe. How do you feel about that?”
Warmth bloomed in her chest as she remembered how it felt to see him come to her rescue that
afternoon. “Well, that’s sort of your role whether you ask me or not. I do see you that way. I know I
can come to you with anything and you’ll help me. But I can’t go back to the way we were. You’d go
off to work and I’d wander the condo. I need my life to be more than that.”
He hesitated a moment, then asked. “Once you get your education, which you will, what do you
want to do? I can help you get there.”
“That’s the thing. I don’t know myself well enough to know what I’m passionate about. This is the
first chance I’ve had to take time to do for me, and I need it. I need my own stability. I’ll stay here from time to time, but I need a home to go to.”
“You have several.”
She smirked. He was insistent. “So long as you respect that one is solely mine.”
He sighed. “I can accept that. For now.”
“Good,” she said, not seeing the point in putting a time limit on what she didn’t yet know.
“Good. On that same line of trust, I want to readdress the issue of a safe word.”
Her body had a gut reaction as she recalled the only time she’d ever needed to utilize her safe word.
He’d pushed her too hard, not physically, never that, but emotionally. She didn’t like the presence of
that memory in her mind and tried to force it back into some dark cavity of her brain.
“I just want to be clear,” he continued, “that, no matter what, your safe word will always be
respected. No matter what. This time, however, it won’t mean our time’s concluded. It’ll mean we
stop whatever we’re doing, regroup, and discuss matters once everyone’s calmed down. Agreed?”
She liked having that sort of safety net. “Yes.”
“Do you still want your word to be ‘checkmate’?”
She nodded. There was nothing more fitting than a word that meant the king was pegged. This was
all very familiar to the terms they started their association with. She didn’t understand why he felt the need to readdress such matters. Then he dropped the bomb on her.
“I want the dynamic of our relationship to grow in trust, and I think the only way we can do that is
to jump right in. I want you to try something with me. Over the next month, I want you to surrender to
me, not just sexually, but completely. I want you to trust me to make the proper decisions regarding
your well-being and safety. When I say you should do something, I want you to do your best to get it
done. When I say no, that’s the end of it. No arguing. You trust me to have your best interests at
heart.”
She held up her hand. “Checkmate.” His brow arched and she explained, “You’re going too fast.
Submission in the bedroom is an entirely different practice than submitting my independence.”
“You will always have your independence. I can’t change who you are, nor do I want to.”
Objections sprinted to the tip of her tongue. There was sexual surrender and then there was free
will, something she always held tightly to. “Lucian—”
“One month, Evelyn. If you don’t like it, we go back to the way things are. It doesn’t mean we’re
over. I believe this is right for us. All of your life you’ve had to decide what was best. I want to give you this gift, unburden you from all that stress. I swear I’ll never treat you as anything other than my equal. Surrender takes more strength than authority demands. I’ll take full responsibility for your
health, happiness, and general well-being, and you’ll let me. I see it as a win-win. I’ll be there to take care of you no matter what, but in return I want your complete honesty and trust.”
They’d traveled this road before. When they first met they’d had similar discussions, and her
answer was always the same. Trust could not be forced and free will could not be surrendered. “It
won’t work.”
“How do you know if you don’t try?”