Carver scoots down behind me, his warm arm wrapping securely around my body and holding me tight, keeping the monsters at bay, exactly the way I need.
With safety blanketing me, I finally close my eyes and allow myself to drift off into a peaceful sleep. Come tomorrow, it will be time to stand up and face the monsters front on.
CHAPTER 17
Sunlight streams through Carver’s bedroom and my eyes spring open to find myself alone. I sit up in bed, letting the blankets fall to my waist as my hand rubs over my tired eyes, instantly regretting it as a dull ache settles into my raw skin and I’m reminded that I’ve spent the last three or four days in tears.
I get up out of bed and cross the room to the massive floor to ceiling window. Looking out over the yard, I find the most luxurious pool I’ve ever seen with the afternoon sun glistening against the ripples, but all it does is remind me that I shouldn’t be here. I don't belong in this world.
I need to wake myself up properly, go and find the boys, thank them profusely for saving my ass last night, and then get out of here, though I don’t know what I’m going to do once I get back to my real life. I doubt I would have been able to sleep without Carver last night. He kept the nightmares away, and for that, I’ll forever be grateful, but I need to leave this place and learn how to survive on my own again, because in my world, all I have is myself. I can’t begin relying on these guys, because one day, they’re going to be gone, just like everyone else.
Realizing that I’ve slept most of the day, I make my way into Carver’s personal bathroom and try to fix the train wreck that is otherwise known as me. I pee and after washing my hands, start rummaging through his drawers until I find a spare toothbrush.
Feeling a million times better, I comb my fingers through my hair and bunch up Carver’s massive shirt before tying a knot at the side and attempting to look a little more like myself as opposed to the stranger I’d been reduced to.
I roll over the top of Carver’s sweatpants and after finally feeling a little more like myself, I make my way out of the bathroom and over to the door of his bedroom. I reach for the handle and as the door begins to open, I find myself hesitating. The second I open this door and walk downstairs to meet with the boys, I won’t be able to hide. I’m going to have to face this straight on and there won’t be anywhere to run.
I have so many questions and a small part of me is terrified about actually getting the answers I’m looking for.
I take a shaky breath. I’m done being weak. I have to do this now. I’m not a coward.
Pulling the door open, I step out into the hallway and am instantly hit with the smell of food coming from downstairs. My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since before the pier party days ago. It’s a miracle that I can still stand. I really should have eaten last night but the exhaustion was killing me. I had to sleep.
I hit the stairs and am forced to hold tighter onto the railing to avoid falling to the bottom. I creep through the house, following the sound of the boys murmured conversation. I walk through a maze of formal dining areas, living rooms, an office fit for royalty, before finally coming out to the main living area.
The room is a huge open kitchen with an adjoining living room, and as I walk deeper into it, I find all four of the boys lounging on the massive couches. In an instant, the tension rises in the room. Their conversation comes to an abrupt close as all four of their stormy gazes come sweeping to mine, momentarily knocking the breath right out of me.
“Umm,” I start, not knowing who or where I should be looking. “I, umm …”
Shit. Could I sound like any more of a moron? I’ve never been lost for words like this, especially when facing down a bunch of guys who I’ve mistakenly been a raging bitch to, but there’s just something different about these guys, and I’m finding that where they’re concerned, nothing is ever quite so straightforward.
Words fade away into an awkward silence, but Cruz pulls himself up off the couch and walks straight into me, his hands resting at my waist. “Are you hungry?” he asks, his eyes boring down into mine as Carver and King watch on through narrowed, curious eyes.
“Yeah,” I say, trying to not let him see just how much his intense stare affects me. “But don’t worry about me. You guys have already done more than enough. I’ll figure something out when I get out of here.”