“Bram!”
But it’s too much. I can’t keep quiet anymore, which is ironic considering the fact that I still can’t speak. I open the door to the pantry, and Bram’s eyes fly to mine. His eyes narrow, and his hands clench into fists by his side.
“You’re a spy,” he growls, advancing toward me, but he’s old and frail, and I’m faster than he is.
“Bram! Don’t you touch her. Leith will never forgive you, and I swear to God I’ll never forgive you myself!”
I want to scream at him, tell him his son is better than he’ll ever be, that Leith shouldn’t have to deal with his father’s oppression and fury like this. I grab a slip of paper and begin to write, but he tears it out of my hands and throws it to the floor.
“You,” he growls, grabbing me by the front of my top. He fists it in his meaty grip, and I slap at his hands. But though older and frailer than he was, he’s still strong and ruthless, so I can’t get away from him. I want to scream for help, but I can’t.
“Let her go!"
Flora slaps at him, and her shout seems to shake him out of whatever’s got him in his grip.
Bram drops me as if I’m on fire. I stumble to the floor, and Flora rounds on him and shoves him away.
“Leith would kill you! He’d bloody fucking kill you!”
I hated his father before this for the way he treated Leith, and hate him even more now, but I know if they fight, they might never come back from that.
Bram comes toward her, his face a mask of fury, but I can’t bear to see him hurt her. I shove him, both hands on his chest, to push him away from Flora. He stumbles and falls. I watch in horror as he strikes his head on the side of the table. Blood streams down his face, thick and red, as he points his finger at me.
“Bram, no!” Flora yells, distraught as she grabs a rag and presses it to his bleeding head. “I told her to go there! You were angry, and I didn’t want you to hurt her. Now look what you’ve done!”
She’s crying freely, tears streaming down her face.
“Someone call the doctor! Please!”
Bram closes his eyes, and he slumps to the floor. Flora stares at him, aghast at what’s happened, and swings her eyes to mine.
Look what you’ve done.
Flora yelled the words at Bram, but they pierce my heart.
Look what you’ve done.
I’m a little girl, hidden in my bedroom as my mother rants and breaks things. Soon, she’ll come for me to hit me, to make me pay for fucking things up.
Look what you’ve done.
Shame and fear flood me. I have to get away. I can’t stay here any longer, can’t bear to bring any more devastation to this family. If it weren’t for me, Leith’s father wouldn’t hate him, he’d be able to take his place as their leader without me being in the way.
I look wildly about me and my eyes land on a set of keys. Flora doesn’t even look at me as staff comes running in to help.
He might die, and it’s all my fault.
It’s always my fault.
I take the keys and run.
I haven't driven a car in ages, and I'm not even sure how to do it well. And this one was the smallest one in the lot. I figure if I mess this up, if I wrap it around a tree, at least they won't miss it. I'm so in my head that I don't hear anyone shouting for me, and it isn't until I'm in the car and cranking the engine that I see Nan waving to me from her home. She's running my way as if she wants to stop me from escaping, but I can't stop now.
And she wouldn't stop me, either. Not if she knew what I’d just done. She’d tell me to go.
Suddenly I see Bailey outside the door to the garage. I pull over, park the car, and grab his collar. I yank him with me. I don’t know where I’ll go, but at least I don’t have to be alone.
I don't want to leave this beautiful home. I don't want to leave this family. But what have I done? What if I've killed their father? I know it was only self-defense, but people have suffered the death penalty for less than this. And the Cowen clan has their own form of retribution and punishment. Their own laws.
Hail slaps at the windshield, as I drive down the steep slope that takes me away from the Highlands. I swear I've left a part of me back there. A part of me with Leith. What will he do when he sees what I’ve done?