Reaper shifted uncomfortably on the bed under Viper’s perusal as he moved to adjust the thermostat.
“Where’s Taylor? Is she with Ton?”
“I haven’t called her yet,” Viper said, slowly dropping his hand away from the thermostat.
“Why not? I want to see her.” Brushing a drop of sweat away that was coursing down the side of his forehead, his eyes started darting around the room. He needed to get out of there, out of Viper’s sight before he started begging him for the drugs that would stop his body from feeling as if it were a quivering mass of Jell-O.
Ton coming in the door dragged his gaze from Viper. Reaper saw the coffee cups shake in his hands upon seeing him. His father set the coffee down, then leaned over the bed rails to hug him. “Son, you don’t know how good it is to see you awake!”
He could only bear to be hugged for a second before he had to pull away from his father’s hold, feeling the same chasm with Ton as he was experiencing with Viper. The emotional connection shared between them had been with a man he no longer was, the man returned to them a stinking animal.
Running a hand along his arm, he started shivering.
“Be careful; you’re going to dislodge your IV,” Viper warned.
“Has the doctor been in yet?” Ton asked worriedly.
“No.” Viper moved around the bed to still Reaper’s movements.
Reaper froze. “I’ll stop.”
Not wanting to be with them anymore, with them looking at him like he was a two-year-old requiring constant supervision, he needed Taylor to bridge the yawning gap that was becoming deeper by the minute.
“Where’s Taylor?” He gripped the bed rail to keep himself still when all he wanted to do was jerk the IV out of his arm and run to find the relief that would still the craving that was bombarding every inch of his body.
He wasn’t so out of it that he missed the shared look of the men at his bedside.
“I haven’t contacted her because I wanted to wait to see what you wanted me to do …,” Viper began.
“What’s,” he shouted, then glanced at Viper and fearfully lowered his voice, “not to understand? I want to see her.” The memory of Crash telling him that Viper was glad he was out of The Last Riders’ hair had him petrified that they would hand him back over to Slate.
Viper’s face paled as he took a step closer to the bed, bringing his hand to the nape of Reaper’s neck to pull him closer to the side of the bed. “There is nothing to be afraid of anymore, not of Slate, Crash, or anyone they used against you to make your life a living hell. You’re safe. No one can get close to you even if they tried, and they’re smart enough not to try.”
Reaper began to shake in panic. “Crash said—”
“I don’t give a fuck what he told you,” Viper said harshly, his face a tortured mask. “We never turned our backs on you. We knew you were only blowing off steam when you gave back your cut. We were hurt but never angry with you.”
Viper bent down to press his forehead against his, meeting his eyes head-on and gripping the back of his neck tighter. “I love you, baby brother. And even if you stuck a knife in my chest to rip out my heart, I’d still love you. Don’t you ever fucking doubt that.”
Reaper closed his eyes tightly and nodded.
“Good.” Viper released his neck to run a hand over the top of his head. “The reason I didn’t call Taylor is because she’s married.”
Reaper felt as if he had been dragged under an eight-foot tidal wave.
“She’s married?” He looked at his father, silently begging him to tell him it wasn’t true.
“I’m sorry, son.” Ton swiped his hand over his eyes.
Reaper began to laugh hysterically. “She’s married! I’m surprised Crash didn’t tell me. That must have made his fucking year.”
“I’ll get the nurse,” he heard Ton say from what felt like a million miles away.
“The only thing that kept me alive was thinking about her, wanting to hold her again.”
“No, it wasn’t. You stayed alive in the military during missions that no one else walked away from, because you wouldn’t give up. It was that same determination that’s kept you alive all these years, not Taylor.”
“I can’t go through this without her.”
“Listen to me.” Viper placed a hand on his arm when Reaper started to jerkily lower the bed rail. “I’ll call Taylor and talk to her. If she wants to come, I’ll get her here as soon as possible. I just wanted to wait to see what you wanted me to do.
“I learned a hard lesson about how much you cared about her. I just didn’t want to repeat the same mistake by interfering in your relationship with her again. I couldn’t handle losing you again.”