“… you can send Evie back. Tell her we’re done.”
With a finality that he never believed he would say, as long as he had breath in his body, he let the opportunity to apologize slip away and instead said, “Yes, we are.”
Chapter Eleven
“Go to bed and get some sleep. I’ll hold Fynn for a while.”
Ginny lifted sleepy eyes at Silas’s low voice. Then, shrugging away from the hand that Silas laid on her shoulder, she held the small baby closer to her chest. “I’m not tired.”
“You’re exhausted.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You’re as hardheaded as he was.”
Her lips trembled at being compared to the man who had taken her in and made her his. She had never felt the difference between her and the children who he actually fathered.
“I loved him so much.”
Ginny stared down at the baby she was holding, seeing the resemblance to Silas and his older brothers.
“I know you did. He also loved you.”
She hadn’t been aware she had spoken out loud until Silas confirmed her father’s feelings for her.
“What are we going to do without him? I’m scared.”
“I am, too.”
Silas’s admission had her glancing up from the baby. She grew even more frightened that her big, tough brother was revealing his fear. “We only have what money you make. No one will hire the other boys. I don’t understand why everyone hates us. What are we going to do?”
“We’ll have to do what we have to do.”
Her fear built when his expression hardened.
“None of us expected Dad and Leah to get killed on that ATV.”
“Everyone was saying he was drunk.” Sick from the rumors that she heard at their father’s graveside, she still regretted not screaming at those few who had attended just because they wanted more gossip to spread.
“It’s just rumors. Don’t let it bother you. Dad made enemies in town. I’ve made more than a few myself. Other than letting you go to church once a week, Dad kept us away from there. He had no friends, and the kids’ mothers hated him for not marrying them. Half the reason people in town hate us is because of them bad-mouthing him.”
Ginny couldn’t understand how anyone couldn’t love their father. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body.
“It was a horrible accident. He didn’t mean to kill Leah.”
She swallowed down the lump in her throat. Their father had just bought the new ATV and was giving all the kids a ride. He’d just returned from taking Moses out.
“Who’s next?”
He laughed when he all the kids yelled out. “Me! Me!”
Grinning happily, he motioned for her. “Come on, Ginny.”
Practically skipping at the thrill of going next, she was about to get on the machine when she saw Leah’s disappointment.
“It’s okay, Dad. Leah can have my turn.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Her sister pulled her into a hug. “You’re the best sister in the world. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Seeing her sister’s excited face as she jumped on the back, Ginny knew she had made the right choice. She could take the next turn.
As long as she lived, Ginny would never forget the way her dad and Leah looked as they rode away.
“I shouldn’t have let her take my turn. She’s dead because of me.”
“I told you I didn’t want to hear that come out of your mouth again. It was an accident. Dad was going too fast and neither of them were wearing helmets. I told him to wait to ride until I got back from the dealership. Do you blame me for forgetting to put the helmets in the truck when we bought the ATV?”
“No, you were busy putting Fynn in the car seat.”
“He should have waited.” Sitting down on the couch next to her, Silas buried his face in his hands.
Ginny used the corner of Fynn’s blanket to wipe away a tear that had fallen down her cheek.
When Silas raised his face, a tight knot of fear inexplicably rose in her chest. She had never seen the look on his face before. He looked defeated.
“Isaac, take the baby. Ginny, we need to talk.”
“Why can’t we talk here?”
All of her brothers, who were sitting around the room, looked at Silas with the same question in their eyes.
“Give the baby to Isaac. Let’s go to your room.”
Standing, she gave Isaac the baby. Her legs felt like jelly as she walked toward the steps. Holding on to the banister to keep herself from falling, she heard Silas coming up behind her. Passing the bathroom at the top, she went into the small room that she had shared with Leah. She hadn’t slept there since Leah died, unable to bear seeing the bed that her sister wouldn’t sleep in again.
Ginny sat down on her twin bed as Silas followed her inside and shut the door behind him. Crossing the room to sit down on Leah’s bed, he faced her.