“You can open your eyes now.” The sound of his voice was barely a whisper. “Find me.”
Her eyes flew open. The bedroom was pitch dark. Twirling in the darkness, she couldn’t see where Ice was.
“Since when did you want to get kinky?” She started to laugh but couldn’t.
Had he discovered the pleasure of playing games with another woman and now he was trying to spice up their marriage?
She tentatively shuffled around the room, going to the place she had heard his voice. She extended her hands in front of her in a sweeping motion to keep from bumping into the furniture.
When he didn’t answer, she knew he was making sure his voice wouldn’t lead her to his hiding place.
Feeling her knee brush the bed, she used it as a guide to navigate. When her fingers brushed the lamp shade, she knew she was going in the direction she wanted.
Sidling around the nightstand, she held out her hand, searching for the wall. She thought he was in the corner beside the bathroom door. She came up empty, though, and had to keep sliding her hand along the wall.
When her naked belly came to the doorjamb, she knew he wasn’t in the corner. Turning around, she stared fruitlessly around the dark room. Squinting, she waited for any small movement that would give her a telltale sign.
“You don’t have to be afraid of the footsteps you can hear. It’s the ones that you can’t hear that you have to be afraid of.”
She jerked her head to the side, in the direction of his whisper. Then she reached out for the bathroom doorknob, wanting to open it and turn on the light.
She didn’t, though. She knew it was Ice in the room, and she could never be afraid of him.
Skirting to the side, she made her way across the wall, trying to keep her own movements soundless. Using the memory of the bedroom in her mind, she was almost at the bedroom door when she felt fingers trail down her spine.
Jerking around, she swept her hands out, sure that Ice was within reach. However, all she felt was the swoosh of air as her hands flailed around.
“How did I not know my husband could be so sneaky?” she asked when she futilely came up empty.
“I’ve been keeping a secret from you.”
Her heart dropped. Was he using this method to tell her that he had been cheating on her, unable to see her face when he told her?
“What’s your secret?”
“I’ve always been a sneaky bastard; you just didn’t know it.”
CHAPTER 9
“That’s no secret.”
His low laughter had her stomach clenching in need.
Grace moved in the direction of his laughter, leaving the safety of the wall. Stepping in unknown territory, she cautiously took a small step forward then another.
“You’re going the wrong way.”
She spun around, hearing his voice behind her.
“Jerk.”
His laughter had her spinning around again. It came from the direction she had originally been going.
“What would you say to Winston if you could?”
Grace stopped dead in her tracks. “I have a therapist. I don’t need someone else to talk to.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Just pretend I’m him. What would you say?”
“I don’t want to do this.”
“Then say stop.”
She opened her mouth to say the word.
“We both know you’ll go into the hearing and repeat the same two pages you wrote the last time. Tell me what you want to say without having to look at him.”
“No.”
“No, you don’t want to, or no, you want me to stop?” His voice was moving closer.
Instead of going toward him, she backed away in the dark. “I have a therapist….”
“Who is a woman. I’m a man. Tell me one thing you wished you had told him during the last hearings but didn’t because either the board was listening or because he was there, staring at you.”
Her spine finally came up against the wall. Spreading out her arms, she started sidling to the side, looking for the light switch.
“Do it, Grace. Just one thing.”
“I hate you. God, I hate you so much.” She stopped moving, turning to face the room.
“I don’t care. I’m never going to care.”
Those are exactly the words that Winston would say, even though they had been uttered from Ice.
He was right; Winston was never going to care about the damage he had done. Avril and Simone had lost their lives because of the madman, yet he never showed an ounce of remorse.
Unsettled that she really wanted to get all the pent up fury off her chest without the board considering her a hysterical victim, she started talking, imagining it was Winston in the darkness and not Ice.
“No, you don’t care. You never have. You’re responsible for taking the lives of two beautiful girls that had their whole lives in front of them. You don’t deserve any hearings the doctors and lawyers apply for on your behalf; you don’t deserve another chance. You didn’t give Avril one, and she was so terrified. All of us were. But the more frightened we became, the more you enjoyed it. That’s what your psychiatrists will never get about you. Your body might be broken, but your mind is so twisted they can’t fix what’s wrong with you!”
Her voice strengthened as she talked. “If I could kill you without going to jail, I would. The only reason I don’t is because I won’t let myself be locked up again because of you. I wished Ice killed you, but he didn’t and I won’t lose him by asking him to finish you off.
“You had no intention of ever letting either me or Simone live. I saw that the day you looked at me when you found Simone dead. The only thing you cared about was that she did it herself instead of giving you the pleasure. You screwed up by killing Avril first, didn’t you? God, I bet you were sick to your stomach when you realized that, weren’t you?
“She was the one who was most frightened of you. Simone was like a fragile flower; you crushed her the first day. Me?” Grace gave a bark of bitter anger. “You knew if I could get a hand on a weapon, I would kill you, and I would have.
“Neither me nor Simone were any fun for you. If you hadn’t been caught that day, you would have been out hunting for another victim. Just like you will be if they transfer you to a regular prison. The only reason you’re still in that mental hospital is because you haven’t figure a way out, when your body is tied to that bed. Someway, somehow, one day, you’ll find a way to hurt me. I was the one that got away, wasn’t I? And you can’t stand that. I bet it eats at your soul that I’m still alive.”
Running out of steam, the burning hatred she bottled up didn’t matter anymore. It took her own words for her to convince her of that.
“That’s what I’ve been missing, isn’t it? For five hundred and four hours and thirty-seven minutes, you held that power over me. But the clock hasn’t stopped ticking for you, has it?”
She brought her hand to her forehead, rubbing her temple. “Jesus Christ, it hasn’t for me either. That’s why I keep hearing your footsteps, isn’t it?
“No more, Winston, no more will I let you have one more second of my life. It’s mine, and you can’t have it. You’ll never have it. Even if you have me killed, you’ll never have it, because Ice has a part of me that is beyond your reach. My soul will be his forever. You could hurt the shell of my body, but what’s underneath is already gone. It was gone the moment I met him….”
Warm arms enclosed her. Crying, she laid her head on Ice’s shoulder.
“I’ve been such an idiot,” she sobbed out, wrapping her arms around him.
“No, you haven’t.” He soothed his hand down her back as he pulled her closer to his body.
“I love you so much….”
She raised her head, searching for his mouth passionately.
“I love you.” His mouth found hers, ardently driving his tongue through her parted lips.
The warmth of his body seeped into hers, smotherin
g the hatred she felt for Winston, the hatred that had ruled over her life since she, Avril, and Simone got into that cab. The loathing she had for him had been unconsciously affecting her, even though she thought she’d come to terms with it and moved on with her life. His petitions kept the memories fresh like a festering wound.
The honest admission to herself was a burden taken off her back.
Compressing her lips harder against Ice’s, she fought for control of the kiss, wanting to take everything he could give her. Panting sounded in the darkened room as they tried to catch their breaths without breaking the passionate kiss.
She used her hands to lift herself until she could circle her legs around his hips. Ice cupped her bottom as he took a few steps to push her against the wall.
Unrestrained desire ran through her veins, as if she was running to catch something just beyond her reach.
“Please don’t ever leave me…”
“It would take a SWAT team to make me leave you.”
Ice lifted her higher up the wall, making her whimper when his mouth covered her nipple. Her body felt as if her insides were melting.
His lips constricting around her nipple brought another surge of warmth to her vagina. Her slick center wanted him so badly that she tried to wiggle downward so he could fuck her.