CHAPTER 1
“What are you giving Razer for Valentine’s Day?” Lily questioned her sister Beth who was rummaging through another stack of clothes that she had stored in her twins’ bedroom closet.
“I haven’t decided yet. What are you giving Shade?”
“I was hoping to get some ideas from you,” Lily confessed.
Buying anything for her husband Shade was difficult. He preferred buying his own clothes, hated sweets and, other than his wedding ring, wore no jewelry.
“We could ask Razer,” Beth suggested. “It could also get me some ideas for him.”
“That’s what we did for Christmas. He liked the coat I got him, but I wanted to do something special for Valentine’s Day.”
“Buy a sexy nightie for yourself; that’ll make his day,” Beth joked, placing a stack of the boys’ jeans in a box.
Lily flushed, her eyes shying away from her sister’s. She never felt comfortable discussing any part of her and Shade’s intimate life with Beth or any of her friends. She had always been reserved, and despite her marriage and children, it hadn’t changed that aspect of her personality.
Reaching for a T-shirt that fell from the bed, she placed it back on the stack of clothes. “I was thinking about giving him a new watch.”
Beth stared down at her, as if mulling over the idea, before saying, “That might be a good choice. If you change your mind, let me know. Razer could use a new one, too.”
“I will.” Lily reached out for the T-shirt that was about to fall again. “I can’t believe how fast Noah and Chance are growing.”
“I can’t either. It seems like I just bought these clothes.” Taking some shirts, she laid them onto the jeans. “That’s the last of them. What you can’t use, you can take to the thrift store.”
“Are you sure? They still look new.”
“I’m sure. The boys have outgrown them, so there’s no need to keep them stored, collecting dust.”
“What if you decide to have more kids?”
Lily glanced up from the clothes to see a strange expression cross her sister’s face.
“Two boys are enough for Razer and me. The boys are still a handful. We don’t have enough energy to have another child.”
“I don’t believe that. Razer and you are wonderful parents. Beth, I know when you had the twins, it was a traumatic experience—”
“It was a nightmare,” her sister cut her off. “Which I don’t want to talk about.”
Lily didn’t blame her. The night Beth had the twins had been a nightmare. She and Beth had spent the night at Evie’s home. Evie had thrown Beth a baby shower while the men had gone to spend the night at Cash’s cabin.
Thank God Beth had slept downstairs on the couch and heard someone trying to get through the front and back doors. It saved their lives. Going upstairs, she had given them precious seconds to get in the bedroom Lily had been sleeping in. Their luck ran out, though, when Beth went into labor. If Shade hadn’t known how frightened Lily was of storms and decided to come back to check on her, the night would have ended far differently. Neither she nor Beth would be sitting in her bedroom now, sorting Noah’s and Chances’ clothes, so yes, Lily could understand why Beth never talked about the nightmarish ordeal she had suffered through that night.
“Who’s going to keep the boys for you? Evie offered to keep John and Clint, but if you can’t find someone, I could keep Noah and Chance,” Lily offered.
“Razer and I decided to spend the night home with the boys. They’ll be so wired after the wedding and playing with Rocky that I’d feel bad about leaving them with anyone.”
“Are you sure? We wouldn’t mind.” Lily grinned. “Shade does a pretty good job at keeping them in control.”
“No, you and Shade enjoy Valentine’s Day. Razer and I don’t have anything special planned for it anyway.” She shrugged.
“Shade and I don’t either. He usually takes me to Cracker Barrel, but because we’ll be eating at T.A.’s reception, we won’t be going.”
Beth lifted an eyebrow at her. “Then, why did you plan to have a babysitter?”
Lily grinned back at her. “Shade was keeping our options open.”
Closing the box after she finished sorting the clothes, Beth looked at the clock beside Noah’s bed. “Shouldn’t you be going back to the thrift store? It’s nearly one.”
Lily’s grin faded. “I asked Pastor Dean to take over the store until two.”
“Why? You never ask him to watch the store.”
She shrugged. “I had planned to have lunch with Shade, but he was in a meeting with Viper.”
Feeling her sister’s gaze on her, she rose from the bed. “If you’re sure you don’t want the clothes, they’ll come in handy for John. I appreciate them.”
“You’re welcome.”
Lifting the box into her arms, she carried them down the steps with Beth following behind her, feeling Beth’s curious gaze on her as she went to the door.
“Lily… are you sure nothing is wrong? Are you upset Shade wasn’t able to have lunch with you?”
“Of course not. Everything’s fine.” Seeing the disbelief in her sister’s expression, Lily put an arm out to hug her. “Really, nothing is wrong. I better go; I want to have dinner started before heading back to work.”
“Bye.”
Lily left for home. Once inside, she set the box down beside the door before going to the kitchen. She had a new recipe she wanted to start in the slow cooker before heading back to work.
She was putting the last of the ingredients inside when she heard the front door open, then close. Glancing up, she saw her husband taking off his jacket.
“How did your meeting with Viper go?” she asked.
“Good.”
Feeling him slide his strong arms around her waist, she leaned back against him as she put the top on the crockpot.
“I would’ve rather had lunch with you.”
Turning around in his arms, she twined her arms around his neck. “I just made sandwiches, so you didn’t miss much.”
“I missed spending the time alone with you.”
She shuddered as Shade ran his lips along the side of her neck to her ear. “Me, too. I miss having some of the lunches we used to share when I was working at the factory.”
Shade raised his head to stare down at her. “That’s not the way I remember it. You tried to get out of them.”
“That was when I wasn’t in love with you.”
“You were in love with me; you just didn’t know it then.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” She laughed at her husband’s arrogant boast, loving the man smiling down at her so much that she wanted to pinch herself to make sure she was really standing within his arms.
His expression suddenly turned into the watchful one she was used to the most. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I made you a sandwich; it’s in the fridge.”
“I’ll eat after you tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing is wrong, other than I need to get back to the thrift store. I’ll be back in a few hours.” Slipping out of Shade’s arms, she went to put her coat on.
“Funny, I can’t remember the last time you took off in the middle of the day to eat lunch with me.”
Feeling nervous, she started buttoning her coat. “Me neither. That’s why I asked Pastor Dean to watch the store so we could.”
Shade narrowed his eyes at her. “Why didn’t you ask Willa or Rachel?”
“I didn’t want to bother Willa; she’s been so busy lately with T.A.’s wedding. And I didn’t want to ask Rachel to drive into town with Ema and Jaxon. Jax is running a fever, and she already asked to switch tomorrow out for my day off.”
Lily swallowed hard when Shade crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter to study her.
“With everybody being so busy, you still wanted to have lunch?”
Placing a cheerful smile on her lips, she walked back to him. “You’ve been gone so much lately, watching over Ginny, I just wanted to spend extra time with you before you have to leave again.” Lily tried desperately to shield her emotions behind her lashes, fearing that Shade would see the fear that she was hiding from him. Then, brushing a quick kiss on his lips, she gave a half-laugh. “I better be going. I’ll see you this evening.”
Slipping out of Shade’s arms, she went to open the door.
“Lily.”
From over her shoulder, she saw that Shade hadn’t moved from the counter.
“Take care.”
Nodding, she went out the door, closing it behind her. She hadn’t missed his subtle warning. Shade was always able to sense when something was bothering her. For now, though, he was giving her the opportunity to tell him what it was. If she didn’t get her act together, the next time he asked, Shade wouldn’t stop until he found out the reason.
Putting on her gloves, she had to stop in the middle of the path that led to the parking lot when one dropped to the ground. Picking it up with a shaking hand, she was finally able to put it on before fumbling in her coat pocket for her car keys. Her thoughts scattered, she didn’t notice there were two pairs of eyes watching her leave.
The air was chilly, making her wish spring would arrive, looking forward to the morning that she would walk out her front door and hear the birds chirping again. Usually, she loved winter for the snow, but for some reason, this year, the bleak sight of trees without their leaves brought a sadness that was unexplainable to her.
Valentine’s Day was just two days away. She wished she could come up with a better idea for Shade’s present, other than a watch. She had been married to him long enough that she should be able to come up with a better idea….
She was getting in her car when a SUV pulled into the parking lot. About to wave at the driver before leaving, a sudden thought occurred to her. Without giving herself time to change her mind, she closed her car door and walked over to Killyama as she got out of the vehicle.
“Hey, girl, what’s up?” Killyama greeted her, moving to the back seat to take her daughter out of the car seat.
“I was wondering if you could help me with a problem I’m having?”
“You’re asking me for help instead of Shade or Beth?”
Lily nodded. “If you wouldn’t mind?”
“Bitch, who you think you’re talking to? I love to give advice.”
CHAPTER 2
Lily looked toward the door when the bell rang as it was pushed open, alerting her that a customer was entering. Placing the folded man’s sweater on the shelf she had been straightening, she walked toward the counter in the middle of the thrift store.
She didn’t give the man approaching the counter a welcoming smile, regretting that she hadn’t kept Pastor Dean talking longer before he left to go back upstairs to the church.
Her flesh crawled at the smirk that was on Harvey Green’s face as he came to a stop.
“I missed you when I stopped by this morning.”
“I had lunch with Shade.” Lily kept her eyes on him, refusing to be afraid of the man who was making the job she had always loved into one she dreaded from the moment she walked inside until she was able to close for the day. “Why are you here? I left the cans of baby formula and diapers for Lucky to give you.”
“I got them, but I wanted to ask if it would be possible to get a few things for Nicole?”
“Why didn’t you ask when you were in earlier?”
“It’s hard for a man to admit he needs to ask for help to get his woman something for Valentine’s Day.”
The friendliness she made a point of showing each person in need who walked through the door was absent as she deliberately remained aloof under Harvey’s assessing gaze. Lily knew he was waiting to see how far he could push her before she demanded he left the store. It was a cat and mouse game she refused to play with him.
“Then you should have swallowed your pride. I told you not to come back in here anymore. I don’t mind giving Nicole formula, diapers, or anything else she needs for herself and the baby… as long as she picks it up herself.”
Lily tensed as Harvey came around the counter to lean back against it and look down at her. The way he was focused on her gave her the creeps.
“Why? Does it get you hot when I come in the store?”
She wanted to gag at the come-on. “No, it doesn’t get me hot. It disgusts me.”
When he straightened off the counter, she grabbed the large stapler that was sitting beside the cash register. His eyes followed the movement, his smirk becoming one that had fear curling in her stomach.
“You fucking bitch, you know you want me. I don’t know why you’re pretending.”
She glared at him furiously, tightening her hand on the stapler. “I’m not pretending. I’m married. And even if I weren’t, I wouldn’t want you. Nicole loves you. It would break her heart to know how you’re acting.”
“Why don’t you tell her?” Amusement curled at his lips. “I’ll tell you why. You want me as much as I want you.”
“That’s not why I don’t tell her. If Nicole knew how you were treating me, she wouldn’t come back to the store, and she needs the diapers and formula.”
“That’s not why, and you know it.”
Lily could only stare at the man, dumbfounded by his arrogance. “Are you seriously this stupid? I haven’t said anything to Pastor Dean, but I will if you don’t stop.”
“If you were going to say anything to the pastor, you would have already. He was right friendly to me this morning, so you haven’t opened that sexy mouth of yours to say a word about me.” With a lone finger, he touched her cheek.
Jerking her face away, she took a step back and lifted the stapler threateningly. “Don’t you dare touch me.”
Laughter wasn’t the reaction she was hoping for.
Her anger nearly had her wanting to take a swing at his lust-filled expression, while she felt the effects within her body heralding the start of a panic attack. It had been years since she had one but, like an unwelcomed friend, she felt the signs approaching, with her skin growing clammy and her breathing escalating.