Then I would remember, and the guilt and the sadness would come crashing in. Guilt that I couldn’t save her. Sadness that I would never see my mother again.
And Nick was always there. Somehow, he knew exactly when I needed him. He would pick up the pieces. He even slept on the floor by my bed every night. I told him he didn’t have to do that, but I think he knew that the mornings were the hardest part. He was always there to pull me into his arms and hold me. He hadn't done anything more than hold me since the funeral.
I didn't push him and he didn't push me. I couldn't ask him to just hang around forever, though. I was sure he was getting frustrated. I was afraid he might leave me for someone who was less damaged. A girl who knew how to take care of her boyfriend. After all, he was a man. They had needs, right?
But having him here with me was nice. Really nice. Not just because he was the man of my dreams. He was more than that. He was a true friend.
We had started riding together every morning as soon as we finished the first round of chores. I knew he had to go back to work soon. But he never mentioned it. He was just . . . there.
“What is that?” I turned to see Nick standing behind me. I gave him a shrug.
“It's nothing.”
“If it's nothing, then tell me,” he said, crossing his arms over his massive chest and raising an eyebrow. His muscles bulged. Part of me had the urge to bite them. Just take a little nip of those gorgeous shoulders or sink my teeth into a bicep.
I cleared my throat.
“It’s . . . bills, mostly.”
“Bills?”
I nodded, feeling embarrassed and overwhelmed.
“Some are from the bank. Some are from the hospital and stuff. Mom’s tests were expensive. Staying there for a whole week. Insurance doesn’t cover a lot.”
“Melissa. I told you to let me handle that.”
“You can’t. There isn’t anything to give them.”
He gave me an exasperated look.
“We talked about this. You don’t try to take on this shit alone.”
“You were there for me with Mom, and I . . . I can’t thank you enough,” I said, almost afraid to look at him. “But this isn’t your mess. I can’t ask you to—”
“You didn’t ask me, woman. I told you. Your mess is my mess,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. He sounded like whiskey and smoke. His voice was like velvet. Like the scratchy silk feeling when you rubbed a horse’s nose.
“It’s a really big mess,” I tried to joke. He shook his head. He wasn’t having it. Nick was mad.
“Woman, I am going to spank you.”
I laughed. I actually laughed. But then I saw the look in his eyes. He wasn’t joking.
“Wait, what?”
“I said, I have half a mind to put you over my knee and spank that bottom till it’s pink.”
“Nick!” I squealed in embarrassment. “I’m a grown woman.”
“Prove it,” he challenged me. “Share your burden. Don’t hide from your problems. Show me.”
I shook my head.
“I can’t!”
“You can, and you will. But first . . .”
I was lifted into the air, my legs dangling as he tossed me over his shoulder and carried me into the living room. I was too stunned to do a thing as he sat down and lowered me onto his lap.
Facedown.
He really . . . oh, my God, Nick was really going to spank me.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Nick
My hand rested on Melissa’s perfect, heart-shaped bottom. I stared at it. I had never spanked anyone in my life.
But goddamn, did she deserve it.
My woman was not only hiding things from me again, but she wasn’t letting me do my job. My job, my number-one priority, was taking care of her. And I was damned good at it when she let me.
And right now, she wasn’t letting me do my job, dammit.
THWACK.
My hand lifted and landed on that gorgeous tush. Not too hard. But not too soft, either.
THWACK.
I spanked her again. I wasn’t going to do much, but hell if I wasn’t fired up and needing to make a point. Was I being too hard on the girl? Maybe. She had just lost her mother.
But she needed me. And more than that, she needed a firm hand. If she was going to act like a little kid and put her head in the damned sand, I was going to spank her like one too.
I hadn’t realized how fucking hot it would be, either. I couldn’t lie. Having her over my lap like this was fucking driving me insane. Being the one to punish her for misbehaving was bringing out a side in me I hadn’t realized existed.
The girl beneath me was driving me wild, just from lying on my lap. Just from the insanely adorable way her ass jiggled with every smack. I was hard and my breathing was ragged by the time I lifted her up and turned her to face me.