I eased the door open and found Noah standing right inside the doorway. When he saw me, he didn’t speak but just stood there with a blank expression on his face. I was about to ask him what he was doing when I heard the sound of metal scratching against the floor. I turned to see where the noise was coming from, and I got the shock of a lifetime. One of the men who’d attacked me was sitting on the sofa with a thick chain around his ankle, and from the looks of it, he’d been sleeping there for days. As I stood there staring at him, all the memories from that night came flooding back, and my heart started beating wildly inside my chest. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I just stood there and gaped at him in horror until I heard Noah say my name.
“Remington?”
The sound of his voice brought me back to my senses. Still in shock, I looked over to him, then bolted out the door and raced back towards Ada’s. I was just about to reach the front steps when I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me back. “Remington, wait!”
My mind racing, my heart still beating wildly, I turned to him and shouted, “That man. He’s one of them. He hurt me, Noah. He’s going to kill me.”
“No, Remington. He’s not going to hurt you.” He placed his hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me down as he said, “I need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?”
“Why should I listen to you”—I pointed over to the office—“when you have him chained up in there? Are you just waiting for him to finish me off?”
“Hold on a fucking minute.” His eyes flashed with anger as he removed his hands from my shoulders. “I get that you’re upset, but you need to think about what you’re saying.”
“What am I supposed to think?”
“I can’t answer that for you. I know it looks bad.” His eyes were locked on mine. “But you’ve got to decide. Do you trust me or not? It’s as simple as that.”
It took a moment for his words to sink in, but once they did, I realized he was right. I wanted to be with Noah. I felt safe with him, and deep inside, I knew he had my best interest at heart and had never given me a reason to doubt his good intentions. I couldn’t deny that I was having my doubts, though, especially after what I’d seen, and it didn’t help matters that there’d been so many secrets. All the hush-hush over his so-called club business was hard to swallow, so as I stood there looking into his fierce blue eyes, I said, “You know you don’t always make it easy.”
“I know, and I have my reasons for that.”
“Because of the club?”
“Yes, but there’s more.”
“Then, tell me. I deserve to know what’s going on with you.”
“It’s not something I talk about, Remington.”
“Well, you’re going to have to try”—my eyes never left his—“or this thing between us is not going to work.”
He thought about what I’d said, then motioned his hand towards the porch. “Let’s go sit.”
I could tell from his tone that he wasn’t looking forward to this conversation, but I was relieved that I’d finally convinced him to open up to me. I followed Noah up to the porch and sat down on the swing. As I sat there next to him, I could feel the tension radiating from his body. Hoping to settle his restless soul, I placed my hand on his thigh and said, “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
I’m not sure how long we both sat there in silence. It seemed like a lifetime, but eventually, Noah let out a deep breath and finally said, “I told you about my folks dying when I was kid, but I didn’t go into all the shit that went with that.”
His eyes dropped to the ground as he cleared his throat. “I hold a lot of guilt over what happened. I know I was only a kid and couldn’t have changed anything, but it didn’t stop me from thinking that if I’d been there, I might’ve been able to prevent them being pulled through that culvert. I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Hell, I was obsessed with it, and all those fucked up feelings changed me. I acted out and did stupid shit. Didn’t have Ada around to straighten my ass out. I was too busy bouncing around from one foster home to the next to really think about what I was doing. I was about to land myself in a boys’ home when I met the Lannisters.”
His expression remained blank, his voice calm and steady, but I knew he was hurting. I could feel it. I wanted to reach out and hold him. I wanted to show him that I was there for him, but I didn’t move. I was too afraid that he might start putting his walls up again. We sat there in silence for several minutes before he finally said, “They became my new foster parents. They were good people. Really good people. They were patient with me and loved me when no one else would, but because of that, they lost their daughter and I lost my first love.”