She takes a shuddering breath and her fear coalesces into anger and disgust. She turns her face away and wraps her arms around herself. “No. I don’t feel well. I’m going to text my friends. Can you go?”
I hesitate for just a moment. I brought up the word daddy just to gauge her openness to the idea, and it seems to be scoring a big fat zero. I guess she knows what it means, but she finds the idea of having a daddy dom disgusting.
Disappointment washes through me, and I stand up. “Of course. I’m sorry if I offended you, Livia. Have a good evening.”
The last thing I see as I head back into the club is Livia’s tense, unhappy face. I head downstairs for the exit without saying goodbye to the others. Another miss, and with a girl I’m really drawn to. Part of me wishes I’d never said anything to Livia, but this is better than going on dates and getting close to her, and then finding out we’re not compatible. I’ve tried sacrificing what I crave to make a relationship work in the past, but it just leads to heartbreak.
I have to believe it’s better, though it doesn’t feel like right now. It feels like shit. I really did like Livia.
Chapter Three
Livia
The moment I open my eyes the next morning, unhappiness crashes through me. I left the club ten minutes after talking to Trey, unable to shake off my disappointment. A gorgeous man who seemed to be attracted to me is just like my ex-boyfriend. I want to cry. Why do I keep being drawn to men who think women are empty-headed dolls to be played with and then cast aside like trash?
I throw the covers back and get out of bed. I didn’t drink after getting to the club, so my head is pretty clear, but that just means I remember every moment I spent with Trey. The way he looked at me so tenderly. The way his arms felt around me. The soft brush of his knuckles over my cheek as he looked deep into my eyes. As I wait for the coffee machine to deliver me an enormous hit of caffeine, my face drops into my hands. It’s not fair.
I take my coffee through to the sofa and spend the morning reading a fantasy novel, trying to lose myself in the world of an enchanted forest and a grumpy, sexy wizard. Then I head out and do my grocery shopping for the week.
It’s a beautiful morning and I grab a vegan caramel and pecan scone from my local bakery out of curiosity. I eat meat, but I’ve been interested in the idea of eating only from plants. To my surprise, the scone tastes amazing. Maybe it wouldn’t be hard to switch to vegan after all.
I’m just finishing the scone and dusting my fingers off when my gaze lands on Dom Fitness. Trey’s out there, looking tall and strong in the morning sunshine. My stomach lurches with longing. Can’t he just kiss me and maybe even be my boyfriend without all that dom nonsense getting in the way?
My instinct is to avoid anything difficult, but I’m learning that’s not how being happy works. You have to reach out for what you want with both hands, otherwise you never get anything.
I take a deep breath and go over to him. After turning cold on him last night I expect him not to want to talk to me, but his eyes light up when he sees me coming toward him.
“Livia. Hey, how are you?”
“I wanted to explain what happened last night,” I tell him, getting right to it. “I like you, but I don’t like…all that other stuff, and what you do here.”
He turns and looks at Dom Fitness, and then back at me. “What is it you think we do here?”
I feel a flash of irritation. He knows what he does, and what am I doing talking to someone like him? He feels strong by making someone else feel weak or in pain, and he probably thinks he needs to fix me. Maybe that’s why he’s been so friendly to me; because he thinks he needs to save me from my fat self.
Suddenly I’m fighting back tears. I met a beautiful man and I sensed kindness in his heart, only to find out he’s hiding something cruel.
Trey’s brow wrinkles in concern, and he says softly, “Livia, Dom Fitness isn’t about bullying you into a size or shape that someone else has decided is right for you. It’s about showing you that you’re already amazing.”
That doesn’t sound anything like the dom/sub relationship that I experienced, and I have a hard time believing him.
“And as for the daddy thing,” he continues, and then glances around, as if remembering where we are and what he’s supposed to be doing. “I’m on the clock right now and I have to keep my personal life separate from this place. Why don’t we have a coffee later and we can talk about it?”