Too quickly, they were alone again, but this time it felt different. The festival wasn’t around to distract them, no more historical monuments for Alric to explain. At lunch, Cameron had still been in tourist mode, wanting to learn everything he could about the city. But now…this romantic restaurant, the hushed atmosphere, it was like a date. And Cameron wasn’t great on dates.
“I feel like I’ve dominated the conversation all day,” Alric began, his expression a bit sheepish.
“Only because you’ve been a perfect tour guide.”
Alric chuckled. “But you said you’re here on vacation, correct? This isn’t part of…” He paused and frowned like he was searching for the right words. “It’s not part of a social media job where you post pictures of places you’ve been.”
“You’re adorable,” Cameron sighed before he could catch the words. He straightened, and Alric laughed. The sound was loud and deep, maybe even a little rusty, as if he didn’t laugh often.
“That sounded like something you say to a grandparent.”
Okay, so he might have meant it a little like that, but Cameron also meant it like he wanted to climb into Alric’s lap and cuddle the man while licking his neck. Not something he’d ever considered with his grandmother.
“No, I—” he started and then growled. “Vacation. I’m here on vacation.” It was better to drive around the train wreck instead of trying to pick it apart. “I just graduated with my masters in mechanical engineering a couple of weeks ago. My plan is to backpack across Europe and then start my new job in September.”
“Congratulations!” Alric said enthusiastically. The very kind man was thoughtfully dropping his adorable comment and moving on. “We should be celebrating. I’ll order some champagne.”
“No, that’s okay. The wine is perfect.”
Alric’s eyes narrowed on him, and he rested his arms on the table as he leaned closer. “I get the impression you don’t want to celebrate.”
Cameron opened his mouth, but no sound came out, so he closed it again and settled on a small shrug. His thoughts made him feel selfish and ungrateful for what he had.
“Cameron, please,” Alric prodded gently. “I won’t judge you. I’m also very unlikely to go whispering tales back to your friends and family.”
A snicker left him at the thought of Alric running off to his parents to share his darkest secret. Besides, it might be nice to at least say the words out loud just once.
“I don’t want to be a mechanical engineer,” Cameron said in a rush. As soon as the words left him, it was like a weight went flying off his chest. He breathed a little easier and even huffed out a relieved breath.
“Really? But a masters? That’s quite a bit of schooling. And that’s not an easy vocation.”
“But it was for me,” Cameron quickly said. “Or rather, it wasn’t nearly as hard as it should have been.” He sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly. “I’ve always been good at math and problem solving. Good at figuring things out. When it came time to go to college, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. None of the majors felt like a good fit. Like they didn’t fit who I was inside.” Cameron chanced a glance up at Alric to find the man starting intensely at him, as if Cameron was the only person in the world who existed.
“What made you choose this major?”
“My father. He’s a mechanical engineer. He pushed me into it. Good jobs, good money, and it’s something I’d be good at.”
“But it won’t make you happy.”
Cameron shrugged again. “Most people work their entire lives and aren’t happy at their jobs.”
“That doesn’t mean you should simply join them. What about your mother?”
“Psychiatrist. Another overachiever. She would have been happy if I followed in her footsteps, but I didn’t want to go to medical school. The only one sensible among us is my sister. She’s a software engineer and loves it.”
“You have a sister?” Alric demanded.
“Yeah,” Cameron said slowly, not quite sure why Alric seemed surprised. “Annoying as hell.”
His companion’s face immediately fell. “You’re not close?”
“Super close, actually. But then, most twins are.”
“Twins?” Alric just stared at him, his blue eyes stunned and wide. For a brief moment, Cameron swore he saw a ring of gold flash in Alric’s eyes. Trick of the candlelight, maybe? And why the extreme reaction over being a twin? Yes, twins were kind of rare, but certainly not unheard of.
“I’m sorry, Cameron,” Alric said, as if suddenly realizing he was acting strangely. “I’m glad you’re close to your sister and have someone you can talk to. My hope is that you find something that matches who you are in here.” Alric placed his hand over his heart and smiled. “You deserve to be happy.”
“Thanks. I guess that’s why I’m here…in Europe. I thought backpacking and seeing new places would help me get a little perspective. Figure some things out.”