I continue willing myself hard. So hard that my brain would probably be hurting even without the head trauma. Yeah. Single. Single is where it’s at. That’s what this whole thing was about. Being single, staying single, and ditching guys. Being proud to be by myself and not dealing with the bullshit, drama, heartbreak, and let downs.
I’m not in denial. I know who I am, and I know how I want my life to be. I know what it takes to make myself happy, so yeah. I tell karma to quit pointing fingers at me. My overworked, overtired, sore as hell brain can’t take it at the moment.
CHAPTER 13
Gabriel
If I ever get married, I’m not going to have my stag the night before the wedding. I’ll give myself at least a few days to recover, if not a week. Getting blitzed off your rocker the night before is just bad for business. Case in point? The groom and half of his wedding party.
Yeah.
It’s a perfect day for a wedding. Bright. Sunny. Hot, but not hot enough to make everyone sweat off their makeup and fancy outfits. There was hardly any humidity to ruin carefully styled hair, and the weather cooperated. Pearl’s parents did a rock star job setting up the backyard. I pitched in to help set up chairs, but I can’t take credit for the handmade arch that Fred put together using rough lumber or for the natural green thumb that Marnie has. All those flowers blooming in the backyard are gorgeous. The setup is simple, but it’s what makes it beautiful.
The bride is stunning. Susan and her bridesmaids went for the understated look. Susan’s dress isn’t too fancy, either. It’s flowy and beautiful, perfect for a beach or backyard wedding. Of course, I think Pearl is the most beautiful woman standing up at the front. Or in the whole backyard. Maybe the whole universe. Her yellow dress, which goes to just below her knee, with the sweetheart neckline and nipped-in waist, as well as the stunning combination of classy makeup and gorgeous, breezy curls that flow around her shoulders, makes her look astounding. Correction, she makes the dress astounding. She could make anything look astounding.
I get assigned a seat right in the first row beside Marnie and Fred, which would be fine if I wasn’t trying so hard not to stare at Pearl while combatting my dick’s urge to appreciate said staring.
Anyway, everything was great right up until the guys arrived. The women walked up the aisle of grass between the chairs first. Then, the dudes followed suit. All five of them look like they’ve seen better days. Way better ones. They’re sweating even though it’s not hot enough for sweat. They’re also squirming with bloodshot eyes and are probably combatting some major headaches.
The groom entered right before Susan was walked down the aisle by her dad, and good lord. The guy looks like he hasn’t slept in a decade. I’d guess Chase is normally a pretty good looking guy, but at the moment, standing up there, he looks like he came out on the wrong end of a fight with a dragon if dragons existed. Maybe he was eaten and pooped out. That would be just about accurate for how terrible he looks. I bet that later, in private, Susan is going to give him a piece of her mind.
Pearl keeps casting anxious glances at her sister and Chase throughout the ceremony. Somehow, everyone makes it through right up until the vows.
That’s when shit gets real.
Or rather, puke.
Right before he’s due to say his vows, Chase motions frantically to no one in particular before he turns to the side since no one scurries in to save him, and pukes, straight up onto the front lawn. There are collective gasps from the crowd and muttered ‘holy shits’ and ‘oh my gods’ and ‘did that actually just happen,’ before Chase wipes his mouth, gasps for air, and gets himself fully upright again.
Susan gives him a look of horror, which quickly changes to something stormy and murderous. She stamps her foot as the poor dude doing the ceremony looks on helplessly. People fidget in their seats, and the second groomsman down the line looks like he might follow suit.
“Well?” Susan asks sharply. “Are you going to say your vows or what? Just because you’re hungover and you barfed doesn’t mean we’re not getting married.”
Someone titters near the back. A few more nervous laughs follow suit. Then, remarkably, someone young and dumb and full of, well, you know, yells out, “Say them! Vows! Vows! Vows!” The chanting starts up, and a few people echo it.
“Oh my god,” Fred groans.
“For farging sakes,” Marnie echoes.
“What the heck is going on?” This from one of Pearl’s grannies, who is sitting a few seats down from me. Also, a good reason not to pop a boner while looking at Pearl. I have my hands artfully arranged in my lap, for the record.