And she was right. He was a coward. Hiding behind his supposed protective instincts to protect himself. He was terrified of making mistakes. Of not being good enough. Of not living up to the name he’d been burdened with at birth. Of letting everyone down. Again.
Of being hurt.
But this hurt so much. And he was so confused.
Her rejection enraged him. As for the thought of her finding another man who could satisfy her needs... That thought just about sent him insane. And that had been the problem. That had been when he’d lost control completely.
Yet when she’d asked him about his future wife he’d gone cold. Marriage was the last thing on his mind. All he wanted was Kassie at his side—in the secrecy of his home. He wanted her to be his alone. His secret. His treasure. He didn’t want to share her with anyone. He didn’t want her to be at risk or have to perform.
She made him feel so vulnerable. And why was that?
He closed his eyes as the painful truth hit him.
He’d thought he was so controlled. That he’d always done what was best for everyone—as if he was so damn all-knowing. But the only person who’d benefited had been him. He was the one kept safe.
He’d thought he was playing his role perfectly. Instead he was just a pompous ass. Emotionally lazy and never putting himself at risk. Not in any real sense. Maybe it was time to be the ordinary guy he truly was. The ordinary guy who’d made massive mistakes in the past and who’d just made another one. He’d pushed Kassie away because she threatened everything—his whole ordered world. But the truth was she was everything. She was his world.
Her words haunted him. ‘You can’t give me what I want...’
He’d been too caught up in his own petulant outrage to ask the obvious question—what did she want? Initially she’d wanted an affair, but not any more. He knew what she didn’t want—to be hidden away as his mistress, unacknowledged and having her value belittled...to be second-best to nothing. But he’d done exactly that to her.
He hadn’t meant to. He’d been so thrown by his explosive loss of control, so afraid he’d ruined it, he’d wanted to buy some time to explore where this was going in private. He’d felt as if he was on a damn runaway train, and he’d wanted to pull the emergency brake for a moment to catch his breath. But he was a coward—because he’d already known where it was going.
She was right. It was time to make some changes. Not just within himself, but within the palace. He would put up a damn painting that he liked—one that hadn’t already been there for centuries. One of his sister’s. How had he been so obtuse as not to even let Eleni put up her beautiful paintings? He’d offered nothing but a total lack of support.
Kassie had put up Eleni’s pictures in her office. Kassie had instinctively seen her depths and her value. Kassie saw the good in people—in her patients. She believed in them. She was kind and supportive and caring. All she’d wanted was the same in return. And he’d failed her.
But now he knew how much he needed her—wanted her. Loved her. She was the one—the only one for him. But he’d hurt her. She’d gone into orbit at the thought of being his ‘kept’ lover, long-term. Of being his secret. He’d retaliated emotionally—irrationally—and she’d wounded him with deadly accuracy.
But how did he become the man she needed him to be? How did he convince her to believe in him now?
He needed time, and a place where they wouldn’t be interrupted. And, as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t kidnap her a third time.
CHAPTER TEN
KASSIE HURRIED UP the path to her apartment. The security guard that she couldn’t get rid of and was secretly grateful for had kept the photographers at bay, but she could barely contain her emotions until she got safely inside. Once in, she dumped her heavy bag, unable to attempt reading the report the senior researcher had sent across that afternoon. Not yet. Not now she was finally alone.
Hurt. She was still so hurt.
Hot tears streaked down her face. She’d been holding it together all day and now she could curl into a ball on the floor and howl her heart out. Again. For the fourth day in a row. When was she going to start feeling better?
A loud knocking on her door made her jump. She froze. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this.
‘Open up, Kassie, I know you’re in there.’
Giorgos? No, no, no.
‘Kassie?’ He thumped the door again. ‘Open up.’
He wasn’t being quiet either. Furious, she wiped her eyes with her hands and unlocked then opened the door.
He took up almost all the space. He’d dressed down in jeans and a tee, with a cap tugged low on his forehead, but he was all King. The clothes made no difference. And he was gazing at her with such intensity—none of that regal remoteness in his hot expression.
His mouth flattened as he took in the signs of her distress. ‘May I come in?’ he muttered roughly.
She wanted to say no. To scream it.
‘Of course.’ She stepped back politely.
‘I’ve learned not to invade your privacy without permission.’ He looked pained momentarily. ‘I’m not incapable of learning, Kassie.’
She closed the door but remained in the small hallway, determined not to let him get past the fragile defences she’d whipped into place. ‘What do you want?’
He cleared his throat but kept his green gaze right on her. ‘I wondered if you had plans for dinner tonight?’
She stared at him blankly. ‘Are you asking me...?’
‘On a date, yes.’ He rolled his shoulders, looking awkward. ‘I’ve never really asked a woman on a date before. You’ve been asked lots of times, and I know you tend to say no, but I was hoping you might go gently with me.’
She lifted her chin. ‘Because this is all about you?’
The twisted smile faded. ‘This is all about me and you. About us.’
‘There is no us.’
‘There is—there will be. There can’t not be,’ he said tightly. ‘We just need to go gently with each other. I want the time and the space to get to know you. To court you. To do the things normal people do when they’re starting a relationship. But unless we date in secret everyone is going to watch. I just—’ He broke off. ‘I’m just asking for one dinner. One date.’
Kassie stared at him, her pulse drumming. What did he mean by ‘starting a relationship’?
‘It’s not that I don’t want people to know we’re involved,’ he added suddenly. ‘I just want us to have the chance to take this further without the burden and pressure of public interest.’
To take what further?
‘It’s not just sex, Kassie. We both—’
‘You don’t have to do this. I know you don’t want to.’
She turned away. She couldn’t cope with what she was reading in his eyes. She couldn’t trust—
‘If you’d let me actually finish, you might find out what it is that I do want.’
She glanced back at him.
‘I told myself I was wary of scaring you off and coming on too strong,’ he said softly. ‘Really, I was the one who was scared. And you, like me, need certainty and security.’
She couldn’t interrupt him now. The lump in her throat was too huge.
‘I said some things I didn’t mean the other day, and I didn’t say the things I should have. My emotions got the better of me and I stupidly thought I could...’ He drew in another breath. ‘I thought that if we could talk over dinner then we might get somewhere.’
‘Dinner?’
‘Yes.’
‘Where? When?’
‘I took a chance and ordered pizza.’
‘Pizza?’ she echoed numbly.
‘It should be here in about five minutes.’
She was lost for words.
‘Say yes, Kassie,’ he coaxed.
She had the feeling that if she did she’d be saying yes to so much more. And she wasn’t ready to do that.
‘I’ll have some pizza,’ she said guardedly. ‘But that’s all.’
‘Great.’
His smile flashed, hitting her all the way to her toes.