Kissing me reverently, he adored my throat, my lips, my jaw. “I missed you so much. I’m so sorry about whatever I said up in that cabin to Connor. I didn’t mean it. I love you. I love you so much.”
Tears spilled from my eyes at his words. The words I’d heard in that song, the words I now knew he’d written to me as long ago as January. Words that echoed the same sentiment in my heart.
“I love you, Ash. I love you.” The words tumbled from my mouth as we kissed and professed our love over and over, each of us reveling in the newfound ability to say it directly to each other. No holding back, no intercepted letters, no songs pumping through the airwaves that may or may not have been authentic lyrics. Just our whispers for each other as we sealed our love in kisses.
Slowly, he began thrusting up inside of me again. Signing, I eased fully back down along his shaft, wondering at the feel of him, the way he grew hard again so quickly, the way he filled me. I couldn’t wait to take him in my mouth again, to lick all of him down, sucking and loving him.
“You’re so gorgeous.” He brought his hands to my waist, easing me up and down, working me along his length. With his thumbs, he grazed the swell of my breasts, the tips of my nipples. I arched my back, giving myself to him, getting just the right angle as I straddled him.
“I could watch you on top of me for hours,” he murmured, sounding transfixed. His eyes looked glazed over with pure lust as I met his gaze. Feeling like a sex goddess, I rolled my hips over his, easing myself down on his huge cock. He closed his eyes and groaned.
“That’s so good, baby.”
“You like that, Ash?” I asked, bringing myself up, then down again full, surrounding him entirely in my wet heat.
“It’s too good. I’ve waited too long.” Grabbing me around the waist he pulled us both up and off the couch, then flipped me around and shoved me over the back of it, rough and demanding. “I have to take you,” he growled, giving my quivering ass a hard slap.
“Uh! Ash!” In my core I felt a wet rush of heat in response to his touch, the rough feel of his smack against my soft cheeks. And then he claimed me again, from behind, taking me full and hard the way he liked it. The way I needed it.
“Hold on, baby,” he warned me. I dug my fingers into the couch, getting a good grip and he dug his fingers into my hips so hard I knew he’d leave a bruise. But I wanted his mark on me, I wanted him to take me so hard, so deep, and that’s just what he did, thundering into me, fucking me relentlessly, so demanding I knew he felt exactly the same way.
He shot his hot come deep in me and I came, shuddering around his shaft, milking every last drop. He gathered me in his arms and we sank down onto the couch again, him cradling me on his lap. We breathed each other in, basking in each other’s nearness.
“I’m never letting anything come between us ever again,” he promised me. “You’re mine, Ana.”
“And you’re mine, Ash.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him full on his lips. “You belong to me.”
“I do.” He nodded. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t know where I would be now if it wasn’t for you.”
“I’m so grateful to all the horrible men chasing you with cameras that day you came into the library.”
“Never been more grateful for those assholes.” He grinned, kissing me again. “There’s a lot I don’t know, Ana. I don’t know what I’m doing next. Or where—”
“Shh, don’t worry so much.” I kissed his forehead, laughing at myself as I said it. I was usually a classic worrier and planner, liking to have everything mapped out just so. But if I’d learned anything over the last few months, it was that there was a limit to what you could plan. You could devote a lot of time to figuring out every last detail, but then something could happen to blow it all out of the water. It was far better to live in the moment, especially when that moment involved Ash Black naked and holding you in his arms.
He smiled at me and stroked my back, kissing my ear. “You think it’s all going to work out, Anika Ivanov?”
“Yes, I do,” I assured him. And somehow in my heart I knew I was right.
EPILOGUE
Ash
Another year, another Kavanaugh family holiday party. Only this year I wasn’t wondering who I was going to take as my date. I wasn’t taking orders from my PR rep Lola and stewing over getting the right camera shots to rehab my image. I was the happiest man in the room with my gorgeous fiancée on my arm.
This time the engagement ring was all Ana’s, not on loan from a store, not picked out for its wow factor by a PR company rep. And I’d been right, there was a stone in Ana’s family I was able to use in the setting, giving it a personal touch and emotional tie to her background. Her mother had been so pleased when I’d asked. Though it was a small diamond, I knew its worth far exceeded the others I included into the design. And there were others. I didn’t go cockroach-sized like Lola had, but I wanted my girl to have some sparkle.
“I can’t wait to see Gigi!” Ana squeezed my arm as we walked through the grand entrance of the Waldorf Astoria. The two of them had started corresponding regularly, discussing wedding plans and who knew what else. That friendly woman from Montana, the one who’d married my surprise! half-brother Declan, she was in on it, too. They seemed to be having a ball.
“Tulips,” Gram declared as she walked over to greet us, looking regal as always. “It came to me last night as I was reading a fascinating biography of Katherine Graham. I’m not sure why, exactly, but I became instantly convinced, you need to go with tulips.”
Good thing Ana seemed to know what she was talking about. The two of them hugged like long lost relatives, which I guess they were soon to officially become. Our wedding was set for the springtime, only a few months away. And apparently we were going to have tulips at it.
“Asher.” An older, jowly British relative cornered me the moment I entered the ballroom. “May I have a word?” I watched my fiancée and Gram walk away, knowing there was no getting out of it. It was time for my annual disapproving lecture.
“Jolly good show young man.” Say what now? I looked at him in surprise. “That new album of yours, quite excellent if I do say so myself.”
“Oh, thanks.”
“That second number you have on there.” He started humming and I suppressed a wince. Apparently I hadn’t inherited my musical abilities from him.
He was talking about my latest album, released just last month in time for the holidays. I’d recorded an album of standards with some of the greats, legendary jazz musicians with more talent in their pinky fingers than many of the pop stars I knew and couldn’t say I loved. I’d learned a lot from them and had a blast.
We’d roughed up the songs everyone knew, given them some Ash Black signature style but still kept them true to their roots. So far, the album was selling great. It was the kind of thing I never would have considered doing before I met Ana. Now, I couldn’t imagine not having done it. It felt great to break out of the mold and have some fun, not worry so much about looking and seeming cool and instead simply enjoy making music.
Meanwhile, “Undone” had been nominated for a Grammy in a couple of categories. The success of that song still blew me away. But more than that, I was grateful for how it brought me and Ana back together. Had she not been invited to that BMA show, we might have kept right on keeping on, each of us stupidly thinking the other wanted it that way. We’d wasted enough time as it was.
Since that show, I’d barely let her out of my sight. We’d divided our tim
e between S.F. and New York, and Ana had a whole new role at the library now, overseeing the disbursement of the funds I’d established to refurbish and expand children’s programming and services. I’d never seen anyone so happy about making other people happy, but Ana lit up about it, spending time visiting children’s branches and asking them about what they could use to improve their offerings. Me, I liked making her happy and if that meant making a bunch of kids happy, too, well it was a win-win.
She also made me appear on a poster. I wasn’t too happy about that at first but, hey, it was for a good cause. Styled like the celebrity posters that simply said “READ” and featured celebrities with a book, she had me photographed with a book. Only she had them reverse the R in READ. It was eye-catching, I’ll give her that. And it was all to raise awareness and funding to help kids with learning disabilities like dyslexia, the kinds of processing differences that made reading a struggle.
Talk about uncool. Ash Black from a year ago would have laughed at the absurdity of the idea. Get on a poster to promote reading? No. And then on top of it, advertise my learning disability? Become the poster boy for dyslexia? Not going to happen.
Then I fell in love with Ana and it turned out she could talk me into absolutely anything. And it turned out people loved it and the campaign was raising all kinds of awareness about and money for kids with learning disabilities. All kinds of celebrities had taken to social media, sharing their own stories about struggling in school, feeling stupid, and how they’d gone on to overcome it all. Add it to the list—the long list—of things I never would have pictured myself doing before Ana. Now, I was so grateful I had.
“Thank you so much for your guidance, Chester.” Gram swooped in, rescuing me from my jowly relative whose name was apparently Chester. All these years I’d never known. I’d have to send him a signed copy of the album he so enjoyed.