“Honey, you were a child. You keep thinking you had power to change it, but you didn’t. When we have children and you see how young they are, you’ll realize it, but for now, you have me when things get rough, and I swear to you, I’ll always be there for you.” She turned her head to look up at him so lovingly, his heart melted.
He could see she meant it. His woman would take his back no matter how bad things got, but he wanted to warn her. “It’s going to happen again and again. And I have nightmares. They never go away, Soleil.”
She nodded. “I’m aware. I spent a lot of time with psychologists. Kevin thought I needed counseling. I think they all needed it after being my counselor.” She rubbed his arms and leaned back into him. “I love taking care of you.”
“That means crawling under a table to suck my cock?”
“The point was, your brothers were there, and you didn’t flinch, Ice. You feel safe around them. At the party, there were others.”
“From other schools, men who suffered other kinds of torture.”
She shook her head. “Not pedophiles. Not criminals. They have no idea what you’ve been through. I don’t know and you told me part of it. A small part, but enough that I know only your seventeen brothers and sisters know the entire truth, and maybe not even them. But you feel safe with them. You know they’ll protect you.”
“No,” he clarified, “I know they’ll protect you. That’s what is important to me. I like exhibition, but not all the time and not when it isn’t safe. That’s what I’ve been learning lately. I put you in a dangerous position on that run. It isn’t ever happening again. If my brothers are close and we can control a situation, that’s one thing, but not when things could go to hell fast. When I can learn to trust the others in other chapters to keep you safe, maybe I’ll be able to be okay with showing you off, but I don’t want to take chances with you. If I offered you to another man, or group of men, Soleil, I’d probably kill myself.”
“I wouldn’t let that happen.”
He was silent for a moment, rubbing his chin back and forth on the top of her head. “You’re a little wild, and you like it when we have sex like that, out in the open, but I don’t want to take chances, not unless my brothers and sisters are close.”
“I’m okay with that, honey.”
Her voice reassured him. She meant it. The relief was tremendous. “Before I’m so preoccupied with the more important things in life, I need to tell you, I’d like you to do some drawings for me.” He nuzzled the top of her head again, liking the way her hair caught in his bristles. “For my jewelry. You were talking about ideas you had, and I got to thinking about them. What I’ve been doing is a piece here and there that calls to me. I see it clearly, and I take a long time to make it because it has to feel a certain way to me.”
“Your work is beautiful.”
“You haven’t painted since we’ve been together. I made you that little art studio and you haven’t gone in once. Sketch in there and then start painting again. You’re good, and there’s a local gallery in Sea Haven.”
Her eyes were so bright they were nearly glowing. “I can do that. I would love it, but Ice, you’re very good, and I was only talking silliness. Nothing I come up with is going to equal—” She broke off when his hand came up to cover her mouth briefly.
“I want you to sketch out those ideas. They were inspiring. A few of the jewelry stores I work with have asked for a line they can have in their stores, and it occurred to me that I could do an exclusive line for a couple of stores, the jewelry won’t be anywhere but in their store. That way, my work is still very limited, and I can do my one-of-a-kind pieces, but we can pull in a little more money.”
She opened her mouth, and he knew immediately she was going to remind him she had money. He found himself smirking.
“Ice. You don’t actually have to work if you don’t want to. I’ve got money. You never even looked into my finances.”
“What did I tell you to do with your money? Save it for our kids. Give it to any charity you want to give it to. Sponsor a million children in another country. Set up a battered women’s shelter or, better yet, apartments with low rent, so once they’re on their feet the women will be able to make it on their own. Any damn thing you want, baby, as long as I’m the one taking care of you.”