“Because you still like other men to see you with a woman.”
Her voice was neutral. He couldn’t tell if she condemned him or not, and there was a lot to condemn him for. He’d learned to arouse the girls to a fever pitch, wanting it to be easier on them when they had to be with the men waiting. He hated himself for that. He despised himself for ever becoming aroused when it was taking place. He really hated himself that he was forever fucked up beyond saving. He swung back to look into the flickering flames.
“Yes.” She might as well know the truth. “I need other men to see my woman when she’s sexy as hell. I want them to want her. To know she’s only mine and goes home with me. Not all the time, but I need it some of the time. I need to know we’re in risky places and she’ll still get on her knees and let me do her.”
“So, it’s about what she’s willing to do for you as well.”
He thought that over. It was. He needed to know she would risk everything for him, do anything, the way he’d done for his family. In a weird convoluted way, he felt less alone. He nodded his head.
“You do realize that you had no real choice, Ice. Alena was your sister. Your choice was to allow monsters to hurt her over and over until they killed her or do what they said. If you didn’t do it, they would have forced someone else to do it. More, they would have hurt those other girls anyway. They were monsters. There was no good choice. You wanted Alena to survive.”
“She survived. Lana survived. No other girls. Not one of them.” His voice shook, and he cleared his throat. He hurt all over, as if he’d been the one to fight with someone, not Savage.
“Alena did survive, Ice. You did that.”
“We did it. All of us together.” He did look at her then. Once again, holding her gaze. “We began to kill them systematically. One by one. We crawled through vents. We went into sewers. We laid in wait and we took them out, the worst ones first. Reaper and Savage did most of the killing, but all of us had to. All of us did our part to contribute information and help select each target. But we killed them one by one.”
She didn’t make a sound, nor did she look as shocked or as surprised as he’d thought she would. He went on determinedly because he was getting it all out at once. Everything. He didn’t want her to leave him, but if she was going to, he had to find out now, because she didn’t know it, but there was a definite threat to her from the president of their club.
“Sorbacov suspected it was the children killing the instructors. We thought he’d wipe us out, but instead he put in cameras everywhere. We learned to bypass those cameras. He took Reaper and nearly killed him, torturing him to see if he would give up those doing the killing. You have to remember, it was one dead instructor here, one there. Planning took time. Making certain not to leave any trace evidence took time. Sorbacov really didn’t know if he had a vindictive serial killer in the school or if it was us.”
“He tortured Reaper?”
“For days,” Ice confirmed. “When he didn’t break, he brought in Savage. It was far worse for Savage. And they did that shit right in front of Reaper. I knew I could be next because I had Storm and Alena. I tried to think what I would do if they took Alena. I might have killed myself. I wouldn’t have given up the others, but I couldn’t stand the thought of what they’d do to her. Preacher was in the same boat. He’s Lana’s older brother. He was as concerned as I was. I think all of us were. We didn’t expect Sorbacov to let it go without killing Reaper and Savage, but he did. None of us thought they’d live, but they have wills of iron.”
Silence filled the room. He could hear her breathing softly. She hadn’t pulled her hand from his, and he rubbed her palm back and forth on his thigh. She let him. She had told him she liked having time to think things through, but he wanted her to say something immediately. If she was going to pass judgment, he was going to fill in details. He didn’t want to relive them, but he would. To try to hold on to her, he would. His heart beat too hard. He could barely force air through his lungs. He brought her hand up to his chest and rubbed in an effort to try to get his body working again.