We moved back through the house, reached the front door, and walked down the stoop. Luca waved to Roberto, who lingered in the doorway, staring at us. I opened the car door for Colleen and let her climb inside before I walked around to the driver’s seat. I got behind the wheel, shut the door, and risked a glance at the house.
Roberto stood there, staring with his arms crossed.
“What the hell was that back there?” Luca asked. “In the hallway.”
“You know Roberto,” I said.
He frowned and tiled his head. “The guy’s a psycho, I know, but I don’t get why you had to cover the girl’s mouth like that.”
I glanced in the rearview. She was staring at me, her face hard.
“You know why,” I said.
Luca sighed. “You’re going to get yourself in some deep shit if you keep that up,” he said, shaking his head. He looked out the window as I pulled into traffic.
Colleen kept staring at me the whole ride back to my place, not speaking a single word.4ColleenI could still taste the skin of his palm on my lips when we got back to his house. He let me out and I hurried inside, not looking back. I heard them talking on the front stoop as I went in and headed straight up stairs. I turned and slammed the bedroom door before locking myself in the bathroom.
I sat on the floor, pulled my knees to my chest, and cried so hard I thought I might puke.
My mind was blank. I just sobbed and sobbed, getting out my anger, my frustration, my fear. I didn’t know just how much danger I was in until Steven pushed me up against that wall. I didn’t see anger in his eyes when he spoke to me, when he whispered in my ear.
There was only fear and pleading. He didn’t want me to keep pushing my case and piss off Roberto or the Don. Not for his own sake, but for mine.
They wouldn’t hesitate to hurt me, but he would.
I got myself together and turned on the bath. I got the water nice and hot and filled up the tub. I stripped off my borrowed clothes, dropping them on the floor. I peeled back the bandage I’d hastily taped to my shoulder and checked the stitches. They looked the same, bruising all around them, but no bleeding. I put the bandage back and climbed into the water.
I sank down and let the heat wrap around my body.
But I didn’t have long to enjoy it. There was a knock at the bathroom door a few minutes after I got in.
“Go away,” I yelled.
I heard Steven’s muffled voice from outside the door. “You can’t lock this,” he said.
“I think I already did.”
“Colleen, open the door.”
“Go away,” I said, then took a deep breath and went under the water.
I stayed down there for a while. I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling. I didn’t care if the water stung, it felt good to be under it, deep under the water where I couldn’t breathe or hear anything else. Already I felt like I was drowning, but as my body began to yearn for oxygen, I just ignored it.
I knew I wouldn’t hurt myself. I was going to come up in a few more seconds, when the need to breathe got unbearable. But for the moment, lying under the water, I felt like I had some small amount of control in my life.
Until I heard a loud bang. I let out the breath in my lungs in surprise and before I could move, hands came into the water and pulled me up to the surface.
I gasped for air and flailed out of sheer surprise. Pain lanced up my shoulder and I screamed as I shoved Steven away from me.
“Fuck,” he said. “What the fuck are you doing, Colleen?”
His eyes were wide and wild. The door was broken open, the knob shattered, wood splintered on the ground. I wiped water from my face, took heaving deep breaths, and then realized that I was completely naked.
I quickly covered my breasts. He took a step back and blinked like he was just realizing that I was naked at the same moment. He stared at me, down my lips, down to my breasts and my body beneath the water.
“Get out!” I screamed. “What are you doing? Get the hell out!”
“You were under the water,” he said. “You were trying to hurt yourself.”
“No, I wasn’t,” I said. “You asshole! I was just trying to ignore you.”
He took a couple of deep calming breaths and put his hands on the top of his head. “Fuck,” he said again. “You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were trying to drown yourself.”
“You think I’m going to kill myself?” I gaped at him, my naked body forgotten.