When Linnzi finally drew her mouth from mine, I rested my forehead against hers.
Her voice was soft and soothing as she whispered, “It wasn’t your fault. And I understand why you and my folks made the decision you did. I love you, Nolan. Do you hear what I’m saying to you? I love you.”
“I love you so much, Linnzi. You have no idea how much I love you.”
She let out a soft chuckle. “I think I know.”
I pushed a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen from her ponytail. “Are you okay?”
Drawing in a long, deep breath, she exhaled. “I think I have my own guilt I need to work through.”
I jerked my head back and stared at her. “What?”
The corners of her mouth rose slightly as she gave me a half shrug. “The whole how do you forget your child guilt has hit me pretty hard.”
“Linz.”
She pressed her finger to my lips. “No, don’t say it, Nolan. We’re both going to get through this together. Neither one of us has truly grieved the loss of our daughter, and we need to. From this point on, Nolan, we do everything together. Promise me that.”
“Oh, baby,” I said as I cupped her face and kissed her again. On her mouth, her nose, her eyes, her cheeks, her jawline. I kissed her everywhere, sprinkling words in between each kiss. “I promise you. I love you. I missed you. I’m so sorry.”
“I love you too,” she softly said, dropping her head back and letting me kiss her neck. “Will you do me a favor, Nolan?”
“Anything,” I said as I drew back and looked into her eyes.
“Will you lie down with me and hold me? I’m so tired. But I need to be in your arms.”
Before she had even finished speaking, I reached down and picked her up. Duke jumped up, which caused Belle to start barking. They both followed me out the door as I walked down the hallway.
I headed to my room, but Linnzi spoke. “No. Not this room.”
Pausing outside my bedroom door, I looked back toward the guest room. “The guest bedroom?”
She let out a weary laugh. “I went shopping with my mother this morning.”
My eyes went wide. “What?”
She laughed a bit harder, but there wasn’t really any humor in it. “I bought us a new bedroom set. It’s Farmhouse French. I find myself missing France.”
“Okay,” I said with a nod, not wanting to get too excited that she said she bought us a new bedroom set.
“Truitt, Ryan, and Roger helped move all the furniture in and out of the house.”
I stared at her, confused. “Okay.”
“Our bedroom is now the owner’s suite downstairs. It’s time we made that room ours.”
My heart dropped to my stomach, and for a moment I thought I might let go of Linnzi.
She placed her hand on the side of my face and gave me the sweetest smile. “It’s time we left the past in the past, Nolan. We need to move forward, and the only way we can do that is to stop looking back.”
I nodded and turned and headed down the steps, and then down the hall that led to my parents’ old room.
The door was partially ajar, so I pushed it open with my elbow and froze when I saw the room. It looked completely different. A large, rustic, tufted headboard in a curved shape sat in the middle of the room with matching side tables on either side. A large dresser sat across from it. Light blue curtains hung on all the windows, and a settee sat in the nook area with a blue throw rug draped over it.
“You did all of this today?”
She snuggled her head against my chest and yawned. “I did. Well, I saw the bedroom set yesterday and bought it. I arranged for them to deliver it first thing this morning. Truitt, Ryan, and Roger all moved the old furniture out and put it in the storage shed in the back. I wasn’t sure what you would want to do with it. Saryn and my mother helped me get things put up in the room. Do you like it?”
I smiled and looked down at her. “It looks like something you would like.”
She smirked. “Do you like it, though?”
Kissing her forehead, I replied, “I love it. Come on, let’s get you into bed.”
Linnzi slowly slid down my body and held onto my arms, trying to gain her balance as her feet hit the floor. “Will you undress me, Nolan?”
Without a second to spare, I quickly got to work stripping her out of her clothes. I picked her up again and carried her to the bed. I pulled back the covers and gently laid her down, then kissed her on the forehead. She sighed in contentment as she snuggled into the pillow while I covered her up.