Something was sticking out from behind the ID that caught my eye. Slipping my finger against the paper, I pulled it out.
My heart instantly felt as if it would beat out of my chest, and I had no idea why. I pushed Nolan’s ID back into its spot, and then tucked his wallet under my arm.
Slowly, I unfolded the paper and felt my entire body go cold. So cold I shook like I was standing outside in freezing temperatures, when it was actually unseasonably warm for March.
I stared down at the paper and felt my entire world flip upside down. “Oh my God.”
My hands trembled as I stared at a sonogram picture of a baby. A red heart was drawn around the baby and the words, “La bébé,” were typed on it with an arrow pointing to the little blob in the photo.
“Amanda,” I whispered as I watched a tear hit the paper. It felt like a rush of a million memories flooded my mind all at once. So overwhelming, all of it, and I swayed with the weight.
“Ma’am? Excuse me, ma’am? Are you okay?”
I jerked my head up and stared at the valet. He frowned and held out Nolan’s keys. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head and glanced back up at the doors. My lungs burned with the effort to breathe. Tears streamed down my face, and all I could think was that I needed to be alone. I needed to be alone to process all of this.
“I…I…I have to go.” My voice sounded strained.
“Excuse me?” the valet asked in a confused voice.
I quickly opened the passenger door and tossed Nolan’s wallet onto the seat.
“Tell him his wallet is in the truck.” Then I quickly ran around the truck and out into the street. I waved at an Uber driver who was most likely waiting to pick up another person. I didn’t care, I had to get out of there.
The valet called out to me as the car drove up, and I opened the back door. “Ma’am, wait! He’s right there!”
“Linnzi?”
I turned to see Nolan walking down the steps. He looked confused.
Slipping into the car, I cried, “Go. And please don’t let him follow us.”
“I don’t think you’re my ride, lady.”
He turned to look at me, and I gave him a silent plea. He nodded as he asked, “Are you okay, lady?”
“Yes,” I sobbed. “Just don’t let him follow us.”
“Um…”
“Please!” I begged as he nodded and stepped on the gas.
“Should I call the police or something?”
I frantically shook my head. “No, no. I just need to get home.”
Then I looked down in my hands and gasped. I was holding the keys to Nolan’s truck. I had thrown his wallet and the sonogram picture in the passenger seat, but somehow had kept the keys. I didn’t even realize I had taken them from the valet.
“Where to?” the young man asked.
I wiped at my tears and gave him my parents’ address. I knew they wouldn’t be home since my mother had mentioned going to a friend’s house for some card night or something.
After paying him with cash and a hefty tip, I got out, kicked off my shoes, and took the steps two at a time. I put in the code and ran up the steps to the second floor, and then up to the attic. For some reason, it was the only place I could think to go. The trunk. It had been calling to me a few weeks back, and the draw was even stronger now.
Throwing open the attic door, I flipped the lights on and dashed up the steps. I looked at the locked trunk and then around at the rest of attic. I found a metal candlestick holder and started hitting the lock as hard as I could until it broke free. I pushed the lid open and then fell to my knees and started to cry even harder when I saw the contents.
“Why? Why?” I screamed out as I buried my face in my hands. The memory of holding my daughter in my arms when they said she was gone. The horrified look on Nolan’s face when he realized our daughter had died—it all hit me at once. I dropped onto my ass and wrapped my arms around my knees as I cried. I felt my entire body shake as sob after sob hit me, rocking me to the core.
Once I managed to gain control of my emotions, I looked down at what was in the trunk. A picture frame with a photo of me holding Amanda minutes after she was born, Nolan sitting next to me looking down at her. I remembered the moment like it was yesterday. I set the photo on the floor and tore through the trunk. There were clothes and toys and I nearly lost my breath when I saw a small box sitting off to the side. I reached for it, already knowing what it was. I opened it and felt my body shake once more.