“About?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Me. She told me since she’s been back in Texas, she’s been having memories of us. She remembered me asking her to marry me.”
He pushed his hand through his hair. “Holy fuck, dude.”
“Yeah. I’m so damn twisted up inside. I told her about the plane accident.”
“And Amanda?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Tried to, but she told me to stop. She didn’t want me to tell her anything else.”
Jack took a few steps back and leaned against the wall and let out a long breath. “Damn.”
“Yeah, damn is right. I thought for sure when I told her about the accident it would trigger the memory, especially since she seems to be having memories of us.”
He nodded. “Maybe her mind has it so far buried, she’s never going to remember. But, Nolan, you can’t keep this to yourself. Dude, I’ve seen what it’s done to you the last eight years. Now she’s back in your life, and I know you, you won’t be able to keep it from her.”
I swallowed hard. “I want to tell her, and at the same time, I don’t. She told me she loves me, Jack. She said she can’t remember how we met, but she knows what her heart feels. She told me she’s been waiting for me.”
His eyes widened. “Damn. That’s some serious fucking love you two share. Did you tell her you’ve been celibate this whole time?”
I nodded.
“And she came back with you?”
“She said she just found me again and wasn’t ready to let me go. She’s only staying a couple of weeks, I think. She wants to get settled in and get a house in Texas.”
He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Why doesn’t she move back into the ranch house?”
I looked out the window and then back at him. “I thought about telling her she lived there.”
A pained expression crossed over his face. “Amanda’s room?”
I shook my head. “I had everything removed and the room painted when I went back for Truitt’s wedding. I broke down the last time I went home and went in there.”
He nodded. “Is that when you went skydiving in Mexico?”
I just gave him a single nod.
“What are you going to do, Nolan?”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “I need to tell her. I will tell her. I’m just scared as fuck to do it.”
“It was an accident, Nolan. She won’t blame you.”
My gaze met his. “I don’t know that for sure, Jack. I got her back. I made love to her again, and I feel like a greedy son of a bitch because I don’t want to let her go.”
“I get that, dude, but you’ve got to ask yourself one question. Can you live with yourself for not being the one to tell her that you both had a daughter?”
My entire body sagged. “No. I can’t.”
He pushed away from the wall, put his hand on my arm, and gave it a squeeze. “Then you know you’ve got to tell her. Better it come from you than her getting curious and finding out more about the accident on her own.”
I nodded. “I know you’re right.”
He went to open the door and laughed. “I’m always right.”
With a roll of my eyes, I walked past him. “Come on, let’s go fly some planes.”Those three magical words came through, and I hit the throttle.
Clear for takeoff.
I was up to ten-thousand feet in five seconds. Life was fucking beautiful when I was flying. I loved my job, but something had felt slightly off the last year or so. It wasn’t like I was growing tired of it. I loved it. Still loved the thrill of it. Something was just…missing. And that empty feeling was suddenly stronger than ever.
I got the go ahead to do the test spin, so I purposely put the plane in an inverted spin.
“Jesus,” I said as I fought to get it back under control and wait for the new program to take action. When it finally did and the plane leveled out, I let out a breath.
“Damn, Bang,” Jack’s voice said. “I thought you were a goner for a minute.”
“Ha. I think I did too.”
Command told me to do a few more maneuvers before Jack was called up.
“Looking good there, Maddog,” I said as he flew up next to me. “I thought they told you only the best were allowed up here today, though.”
“Fuck you,” Jack said.
I laughed and made a hard right as Jack followed. The next hour we flew the hell out of our F-22s, pushing them to the limits and having a bit of fun in the process.
“Let’s have some more fun,” I said as I requested permission to change the flight pattern.
“You’ve got the lead, Bang.”
I made a pass over the house like I had promised Linnzi I would. The smile on my face as I did was a reminder of how happy I felt not only being back up in the air, but knowing Linnzi was waiting at my house for me.