My mind drifted to my folks. They were going to be so surprised. They had no idea I was coming back home to Texas for good. I knew they would be over the moon. They had to be tired of coming to France to see me all the time. I had flown back to Texas twice in the past eight years, mainly for Christmas. Other than that, I had thrown all of my time and attention into my career.
Running from the ghosts of my past in the process.
I smiled as I thought about my folks, though. Daddy wasn’t a rancher, but he was born and bred Texas. His middle name should have been cowboy. His real job was an estate lawyer, while my mother owned an art studio in town. I left when I was twenty-five, and here I was about to turn thirty-three. It had felt like a lifetime ago, yet it seemed like only a blip of time had passed. I had left Texas to avoid a truth. A truth I was now honestly ready to discover. My truth. The haunting feeling I’d had since the moment I woke up in that hospital room never really seemed to leave me. At least, not until I landed in France. The pain had eased up a lot, which was one reason I remained there for as long as I had. It was easier to forget my past there—especially the past that I didn’t remember. Except for the nights I cried myself to sleep. I had been so lonely the entire time. Sure, I had attempted to go out a few times on a date, and every single time it felt so wrong. I wasn’t the least bit interested in any of the men. The only man who had ever sparked something inside of me was him. The one I had seen sitting at the coffee shop three years ago. I closed my eyes and let his face pop back into my memory. It hadn’t faded at all. Seeing him sitting at the café. Following him down my street. When I closed my eyes and conjured him, I could see him clear as day. After that little escapade my dreams had escalated, but now they starred my mystery man. It was no wonder his face was as clear as day.
A honk caused me to jump.
“Linnzi! Linnzi!”
Turning, I saw a white Toyota 4Runner pull up. I ducked down to look at the driver and screamed. “Saryn?!”
She jumped out of the SUV and ran over to me. We hugged and laughed, and a part of me felt like crying. Saryn was a memory. One I sort of remembered. I didn’t have a lot of memories of her, but I did have a few, and it was those that I would cling to.
When we pulled back from one another, Saryn cupped my face in her hands and slowly shook her head. “Are you home? For good?”
“Yes!” I said with a bubble of laughter mixed with a sob. “I’m home. After eight long years, I realized that it was time to stop running from my past. I need to find answers.”
She smiled and pulled me in again for a hug. “Come on, let’s get your stuff in the car.”
After we loaded my bags into the trunk, we both got into the SUV. “It’s chilly!” I said, rubbing my hands together.
Saryn laughed. “It’s been a freezing cold winter. I’m hoping March brings some warmer weather!”
“How are the kids?” I asked.
With a smile so big I nearly laughed, Saryn replied, “Liliana is five. She’s asking for her own horse.”
“A girl after my own heart. I haven’t been riding in years!”
“Well, we’ll have to fix that right away.”
I nodded.
“And Nolan is about to turn two. I can hardly believe it.”
My heart instantly felt like a bolt of lightning hit it. “Nolan?” It came out more surprised rather than a question.
Saryn’s smile slipped for a moment, and I noticed she clutched onto the steering wheel harder.
“That name is so familiar to me. Did you name him after someone?” I wasn’t sure why I had asked that question. It wasn’t like I hadn’t known her son’s name, but hearing her vocalize it shocked my senses.
Saryn seemed so nervous. “Yes. Um. You remember Nolan, from high school? Nolan Byers?”
When she looked at me, I swore she almost had a pleading look in her eyes.
I shook my head. “No. I don’t remember him, at least I don’t think I do. His name…well, it sounds familiar. High school and college and those few years after are still a blur for me. I started seeing a counselor in France a few years ago, and she thinks I’m mentally blocking that time out for some reason. She was the one who actually told me it was time to stop running from the past. It was time to piece together the missing years. I know she’s right, but something has been holding me back. Until now.”