Zara could see the struggle on Bellisia's face. She wanted to believe. She wanted Gino, if that was Zara's choice, to be right for her.
"Have you ... "
"Yes. And it was awesome. He's awesome. I had no idea it could be like that."
Bellisia really smiled for the first time, her grin a little mischievous. "I have to know, all that practicing, did it pay off?"
"Most assuredly," Zara said. "You know how I believe in researching everything important. I was very happy I had because I shocked the heck out of him."
Bellisia laughed. "I'll bet you did." The smile faded and she leaned into Zara. "Does he really make you happy? It was fast for you. I'm not saying it isn't real because I fell hard for Zeke right away, so I know it can happen. Neither of us has ever dated, or spent time with other men. I knew Zeke was right for me. Do you really know, Zara?"
"I know he's right for me. I'm hoping I'm right for him. There's a part of me that worries the moment I'm all healed, he won't feel the same way."
"That's Whitney talking. You're more than good enough for him."
"It's not that. He's so protective of everyone, you said it yourself. He might have the white knight syndrome. We read about it, remember? We used to look things like that up all the time. He rescued me and took care of me day and night. I looked far worse when he first got to me. He had to take me to the bathroom and stay in the room with me because I couldn't sit on a toilet alone, or take a shower by myself. I was completely dependent on him. Once I'm not, that part of him that maybe needs that ..."
"Don't. Gino is many things, but he isn't a liar. If he says he wants you, you can bet that he does. He isn't a man to deceive himself. Not ever. He knows exactly what he's looking for. He's had the time to figure that out. If he wanted someone else, Zara, he'd have her already. And I can't believe I'm taking his side."
"That's because you love me and you want me to be happy. You know Gino makes me happy." Zara sent her a smile. "He does. Very happy. I feel safe when I'm with him and cared for. Loved even, although he hasn't said he loves me, but he gets this look on his face sometimes when he's looking at me."
"He can't help but love you, silly."
"So." Zara took a deep breath. She had to get this done. "I did tell him about the information I stole from Cheng's computers. He wants to tell Trap and Wyatt so they can help figure out how to extract it. I didn't want to let him do that until I talked to you. If you say Ezekiel will help without moving that information up the chain of command, then of course you have to tell him. I need to know if you think Trap and Wyatt are okay to tell."
"Zeke would tell Joe if he thought it was absolutely necessary and that we could protect you, otherwise, no, not if you didn't want him to. Trap and Wyatt are renegades. Like Gino, they go their own way. Joe has a tough time reining them in. Truthfully, all the men in this unit are a little bit renegade."
"You're sure about Ezekiel?"
Bellisia nodded. "Truthfully, he's as rogue as the others. I think GhostWalkers just are, Joe included, although because he has to lead, he has fewer choices. He has to bring things to the major general. Gino protects him, so it stands to reason he wouldn't give him this information about you. It would put Joe in a terrible position. Trap's impressive. He might be a difficult man, but he comes up with innovative ideas that are far ahead of our time. The strides he's made in the medical world are amazing. Believe me, Zara, no one will have to explain PEEK-carbon and nanotubes to him, or whatever you were talking about."
Zara found herself laughing with relief. She should have known Bellisia would forgive her and help her immediately. It was her own insecurities that kept making things between them difficult. She had to stop or she'd end up ruining every relationship she had. She'd be fulfilling Whitney's prophecy through her own stupidity.
"Do you really understand all that stuff?" Bellisia asked. "Because I looked it up and half the article sounded like a foreign language."
"You'd understand if you wanted to, you just have no interest in it. You're all about other things."
"You got that right." Bellisia glanced toward the screen door. "Do you think they're ever going to be bringing us that strawberry lemonade? No one makes it better than Nonny."
"I think they're waiting for a signal that we're finished with our talk," Zara pointed out, unable to keep the laughter away.
Bellisia laughed with her and then lifted her voice. "Zeke, Gino, where's the lemonade? We might die of old age before you get out here."
"At least of thirst," Zara corrected. "Although it was sweet of them to disappear so we could talk."
"Zeke might want to run, thinking about the two of us locking horns," Bellisia said. "But I'm surprised Gino didn't have an ear to the screen. He's all protective of you."
The screen opened and Gino came out carrying a beer and a frosty, tall glass of strawberry lemonade. Right behind was Ezekiel with the same.
"I was listening at the screen," Gino said, unrepentant. "Did you think I was going to let my woman get upset without me close?"
"I wasn't," Ezekiel said, his tone saintly. "I did my best to pull him away, told him if the two of you got into a catfight, then I'd come watch, just for the entertainment, but otherwise, no way. I didn't want my ass kicked by a girl."
"I would have kicked your ass," Bellisia said, taking the glass. "But because you were so good, I'll just kiss you instead."
"Did you really eavesdrop on our conversation?" Zara asked, trying to glare and not succeeding because he looked so Gino. Gorgeous in that rough way of his. So ... hers. And she didn't really care in the least.
"Yep. Every word, princess. Good thing you're not in trouble for saying anything nasty about me."
Bellisia regarded him over her glass. "Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves."
"'Awesome' is the word that I think best describes me." He brushed a kiss on Zara's forehead and then slipped into his favorite place in the shadows where he could keep an eye on their surroundings even as he joined in their conversation.
Zara opened her mouth, but closed it, uncertain what she wanted to say. Gino sent her an unapologetic grin that kind of melted her. She glanced at Bellisia, who had one eyebrow up and a look that said, "see."
Zara realized she did see. Bellisia would have been angry with Ezekiel and maybe rightly so. She wasn't in the least upset with Gino, although clearly Bellisia thought she should be. She considered that while Bellisia explained to her husband that Zara spied on businesses for Whitney and how it was done. Zara knew other women would be really angry with their spouse or boyfriend for blatantly eavesdropping on a private conversation, so how come she wasn't?
"It was private," Zara finally said, half whispering.
Gino shrugged. "Maybe, but someone has to look out for you. The last time you cried for a long time. That wasn't happening a second time."
She looked up at Gino, her heart sinking. Maybe something really was wrong with her because he made her feel loved and protected. He made her feel safe and like he would fight for her if she couldn't fight for herself. Was it so wrong to feel that way? She honestly didn't know. She pressed the frosty glass to her forehead, trying not to feel anything at all. Bellisia wasn't trying to make her feel like a fool for not caring that Gino had listened.
"Baby." Gino was suddenly crouched down in front of her, his hands cupping her face. His thumb slid over her lower lip. "Look at me, Zara. Only at me."
His voice turned her inside out. He could sound so completely gentle, so tender, at odds with his tough image. She forced her lashes up so she could look into those black, fathomless eyes of his. What she saw there shook her. Took her breath. For the first time, there was no doubt in her mind what he felt. It was there in his eyes. Not lust like she'd seen several times. Not a mixture of lust and love, which she thought she'd seen the night before. Just plain love. She might have never had it from a man before, but she recognized it.
Everything in her settled. All the doubts were s
wept away. He'd told her their relationship belonged to them, no one else. Bellisia obviously had a good relationship with her man. It was different than Zara's with Gino because they were different. Neither was wrong or right, just different and that was okay. She let her breath out, the last of the knots in her stomach unraveling.
He kissed her gently, his lips brushing over hers, sending a million butterflies winging their way to her deepest core. "Tell me you're okay. I can take you for a drive if you feel you need to get away for a little while."
She brushed at the strands of hair falling around his face. She loved the way his hair seemed impossible to tame. "I'm good, Gino."
"You really upset over me listening?"
She knew what he was saying. If she said yes, they would be talking about it more, but he wouldn't back down. She shook her head. "I'll tell you if I need total privacy."
He frowned at her. "Remember what we agreed, baby. You think about that. We don't have secrets."
"You'll have them," Bellisia said.
"Okay, baby, that's enough," Ezekiel said. "I'm done with this weird shit you're pulling because you're not one hundred percent behind your girl with Gino. He's a good man. He's in love with her. They can work out their own relationship."
Bellisia shook her head and looked down. Ezekiel instantly put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. She lifted her head and looked at the couple. "I'm sorry, Zara. Gino. I don't know why I'm so afraid for you, Zara. I'm trying to feel it's right, but there's a part of me that knows you're very vulnerable and fragile. Not just now, all the time."
Before Zara could say anything, Gino sank back on his heels. That put him eye to eye with Bellisia. "I know she is," he conceded. "I saw it right away. She'll never have to worry when she's with me. She'll learn that eventually, but we're still new. She's getting there. I'm glad she had you to look out for her when she was at Whitney's compound. I'm glad you're here to be her family with me. When I'm away, I'll know you'll have her back, and when you're away, you'll know I have it."
Bellisia glanced up at her husband and then looked back to Gino. She nodded. "Thank you for being so understanding. It's difficult to let go of that role."
Zara cleared her throat. "I'm right here in case no one noticed."
Gino stood, leaned down to brush a kiss over the top of her head and then disappeared once more into the shadows. "Princess, I always know exactly where you are."
"I want to talk about the storage unit you have in your head. It's pretty damned innovative, Zara," Ezekiel said. "I'm with Gino, I think we should bring Trap and Wyatt in on this and if you don't mind, I can talk to them tonight. Trap will have all kinds of questions for you to answer. Who would ever conceive of anyone planting an SSD in the brain?"
Zara nodded. "If Whitney hadn't gone off the rails, he'd be so far ahead of the competition, the United States would never have to worry about losing the cyber war, or the one on the ground." She realized what she'd said after the words came out of her mouth. Whitney had really gone off the rails, he was insane. His genius had corrupted him. She was no longer willing to listen to his voice in her head telling her she was inferior, that she wasn't good enough for him, a failure and a coward.
"It's pretty cool that you can 'talk' to machines," Ezekiel said. "Trap may ban you from his beloved laboratory. Wyatt's is first-class, but you have to see Trap's. It's state-of-the-art. Once he and Wyatt disappear into that lab, we all know we might not see them for a week."
The others laughed, but she didn't. She understood. She knew what it was like to be so passionate about her work that she couldn't break for something as mundane as eating or sleeping. She'd holed up for more than a week a few times. When she'd been in her teens, Whitney had locked her in the lab and told her she couldn't come out until she'd solved the problems he'd put in front of her. She'd learned that behavior from those earlier days. First it had been Whitney keeping her there, but then she wanted to be there. She loved the various projects she worked on, and she could escape into her work.
Zara felt Gino's eyes on her and she slowly raised her gaze to his. He sent her a slight smile, but his eyes weren't smiling as he gave a slight shake of his head. A small shiver went through her. She knew what that headshake meant. He wouldn't have her staying for a week in a lab or anywhere else doing research. She would be coming in at night and sharing their table and their bed. He'd already made that clear to her.
Did she mind? She thought about that too. Not really. Again, she saw it as caring, the opposite of the way Whitney had treated her, or the way she knew Zhu would. Zhu would be like Whitney, force her to work no matter what if Cheng wanted something from her. If she wanted to work late, she was certain Gino would come to her, probably with food. His kisses would be enough to distract her into going to bed with him. She sent him a reassuring smile.
Gino never really looked tense, but she was beginning to read him after spending so many days and nights with him. He definitely relaxed when she smiled at him. She tried to keep her attention on what Ezekiel was saying. He was attempting to help, and it was important to remove the data from the storage unit so Whitney would lose interest in her.
"I love the idea of PEEK-carbon being used. It's completely translucent. The idea that you can walk into any lab and steal data right out of a computer without a single person having a clue you took it is extraordinary. Add building an SSD out of the nanotube of PEEK-carbon, and you're the ultimate spy."
Zara felt her body tensing up. Ezekiel had a lot of clout in the unit. He was an officer. She knew Gino was one as well, but Ezekiel had been running the rescue mission, and like Joe, his word was law. If he decreed she had to go retrieve data from somewhere, or suggested she do that for his major general, she would be in trouble. She'd be forced to continue a life she detested.
She loved her work on artificial intelligence. She saw it as the future--something that could really help mankind. She didn't mind talking about it with others equally as enthusiastic, or those wanting to learn. If she was stealing from those people, she felt tense and sick. There was no way to have light conversation when she knew she'd stolen their hard work just so Whitney or someone in the government could piggyback on the work others had done. She sat still, frozen in place, feeling threatened. Ezekiel's enthusiastic voice receded as she stared out to the river.
She needed a porch on her house. She began building it in her mind. It was the first time she didn't count or do math problems to go somewhere safe. She built her home. A two-story house with wide sweeping stairs. Little alcoves along the way where she could put pictures of the children. A closet under the stairs where she could put their backpacks and jackets--although she was in the swamp so the humidity might stop them from having to wear jackets. She'd have to ask Nonny.
"Princess." Gino's voice was low. Gentle. It cut through the large living room she was putting together in her mind. She looked up at him. "Zeke isn't going to throw you to the wolves. Neither is Trap or Wyatt. We've all had our share of shit, baby. Bellisia, and if we ever find your friend, Shylah, and you, have had too much as well. We're building something here together. Homes. Family. We look out for one another. You're mine, and baby, make no mistake about it, nothing will ever touch you like that again. I'm a hunter. It's what I do best."
"Did something I say upset you, Zara?" Ezekiel said.
She heard the genuine concern in his voice. It was impossible not to see it on his face. "I think I'm still a little afraid of everything, Zeke." Deliberately she used the shortened, friendlier version of his name. "I never want to have to steal from people again. It felt wrong when I was doing it and even though I have the gift, I'd rather find better uses for it."
"Tell me you won't mind screwing with Trap," Ezekiel said. "Wouldn't that be great, Gino, to pull a prank on him just once and he wouldn't be able to figure it out?"
"When you confessed, and eventually you'd have to, he'd probably shoot you," Gino pointed out and took a long slow pull of his beer. "It would be worth it."
"After Trap shot you, he'd have Cayenne roll you up in silk and hang you from a tree upside down. All the others would laugh and point and take pictures to send to the other GhostWalker teams before he relented and got you down, fixed your wound and then dumped some kind of burning liquid into it just to remind you not to fuck with him."
"You're right, damn it. He'd do all that."
The two men grinned at each other. Bellisia and Zara exchanged a look.
"Are they joking?" Zara asked, needing confirmation, because it didn't sound like they were.
"Nope," Ezekiel said. "That's Trap."
"And Cayenne will do anything for that man, even take one of us down if she has to," Gino pointed out.
"I believe your woman threatened to end me," Ezekiel said.
Gino took another drink from the bottle. "True. She can get wild on me, but if I recall, it was only after your woman threatened to do me in permanently for a very small indiscretion."
"It wasn't small," Bellisia chimed in. She sipped at her lemonade. "You were trying to get into my sister's very pretty undies. She always wears really pretty underwear, which just pissed off Whitney, but he gave up throwing them out."