She turned her gaze back to Nonny and found the woman watching her closely.
"You're in love with him," Nonny said approvingly.
Cayenne once more looked out the window, staring at the man she couldn't imagine herself without. He was gorgeous. Tall and strong. His hair was always a mess, but she especially liked it that way. Every movement he made set his muscles rippling deliciously beneath his tight tee. The toddler on his hip looked tiny next to his large frame.
"I don't know what that is," Cayenne admitted softly, "but he's everything to me. I want to learn how to take care of him. To make him a home. I don't think he's had that, and I want to do that for him." She turned back toward the older woman, leaning forward, meeting her eyes. "I want that a lot. I'm hoping you can help me."
"Keepin' your man happy isn't difficult, Cayenne. Neither is makin' a home for him, not if it's important to you."
"I didn't have parents," she blurted out. "I have to learn everything out of a book or on the Internet. Cooking is especially difficult. I can get all the measurements right, but I make the worst messes. Half the time, Trap has to come in and help me get everything cleaned up. I don't want that. He works hard and the work he does is important. Eventually, I'm going to help him in the laboratory, but to do that, I have to be organized so everything else gets done. I don't mind him helping me with the laundry--which by the way I screw up almost every time I do it. But I want to do the cooking. I don't know why, but it's important to me."
Nonny studied her face. "It was difficult for you to ask Wyatt if he'd ask me, wasn't it? But you did. That took courage. A little thing like cookin' isn't goin' to be hard for you after that."
Cayenne hadn't realized how tense she was. She forced air through her lungs and sank back. "I've never even talked to other women, not like this. Not Pepper, no one. I've never gone into a grocery store or paid for groceries. I don't know how to do those things. Trap's friends have been getting our groceries for us. He wants everything in place before we go out in public together. I think he actually wants us to be married."
Nonny didn't take her gaze from Cayenne's. "I don' know a lot about Wyatt's business. I do know that somethin' bad happened to Pepper and the girls. I know that same somethin' must have happened to you. You have no cause to be worried about makin' friends with me. You already did, just by puttin' the soft in Trap's face and meltin' the ice in his eyes. The way he picked up that youngin' was beautiful. He never did that before. Not once. Not slow and easy and natural. You gave him that."
Cayenne felt her eyes burn. She liked hearing what Nonny was saying to her. Movement in the doorway nearly had her spinning around in her chair, but the scent came to her and she knew it was Pepper, Wyatt's wife. She could actually smell Wyatt on her, their combined scents. She forced herself to turn slowly with a small smile on her face, even though she was back to being tense again.
Two people. Two women. Cayenne pushed down panic and smiled through the introductions. "I guess I have you to thank for telling Trap that I was imprisoned and awaiting termination," she said.
Nonny made a small sound in the back of her throat. "What did you say, child?"
Cayenne nearly bit her tongue. Clearly Nonny didn't have all the details about her. She glanced nervously at Pepper, looking for direction.
"Nonny, just like the girls, Whitney and Braden put out a termination order on Cayenne."
"It's still in effect," Cayenne said. "So in coming here, I may have put you both in danger. If you . . ."
"Don' even say it," Nonny warned. "We're all in this together. I think it's time those boys earned their dinner anyway. They're hanging around here, pretendin' to work, eatin' every chance they get. A little guard duty will keep them sharp."
Pepper laughed softly. "Nonny's very good at handling all the men. I tend to hide sometimes, but she knows exactly what to do with them."
"I had me four boys to raise," Nonny pointed out. "Now I got me three little girls, Pepper and Flame, Gator's wife." The faded eyes went to Cayenne's face. "And you. 'Bout time I had me daughters what with all these boys I've got now. Gives a body a reason to keep goin'."
"What are the girls' names? Triplets, right?" Cayenne asked, her stomach settling a little more.
Nonny conveyed such warmth it was impossible not to feel welcome in her home. Pepper was more reserved; like Cayenne, she didn't have much experience with people. She'd had four months of being with Wyatt, Nonny, and the members of the GhostWalker team so she had a jump on Cayenne gaining experience. Clearly being around Nonny gave her advantages. She was already taking on Nonny's natural friendliness and warmth. Cayenne envied her just a little.
"Ginger, Cannelle and Thym," Pepper answered. "You know how Braden wanted us all to be spices. He was such a jerk."
"Whitney determined that those of us in France would be spices. He had two other labs that I heard rumors about in other countries, and if he has women or children there, you can bet they have a different category name. As I understand it from what Trap told me, those in the United States have flowers or seasons," Cayenne said.
"Flame's real name is Iris," Nonny said, "but no one calls her that. Whitney gave her the cancer--repeatedly. I know Trap and Wyatt are workin' as hard as they can to come up with a cure, at least for the type of cancer Whitney gave Flame. He wanted it to keep comin' back so she would have to go to him for treatment. Lily Miller is helpin'. She's Whitney's daughter, and she put Flame's cancer in remission, but we're all afraid it might come back again."
Cayenne was surprised that Nonny knew so much about Whitney's experiments. Although once she gave it thought, it stood to reason. Nonny had lived a long life and she was smart and observant. She had two grandsons who had joined the GhostWalker program and were married to other GhostWalkers. She hosted an entire team in her home. She had to see their differences and hear them talking.
"Whitney didn't want to see any of us as human," Pepper said. "He can distance himself from us so it's easy to look at us as experiments and he can terminate us, or do anything else he wants without feeling guilty."
Cayenne shivered, a cold chill creeping down her spine. Her hands ached. She rubbed them on her thighs, suddenly wishing Trap were there.
She felt Nonny's sharp gaze and forced her hands into her lap, threading her fingers together to keep from trembling. She didn't ever feel like this unless she was alone at night and couldn't shut out the memories of being pinned to a table like an insect with several men in lab coats poking and stabbing with needles and knives. Bile rose, and she felt like she might choke.
Baby. What is it?
He was there. Trap. Pouring into her mind. Filling her with warmth. With him. With his strength, but it was much more than that. So much more. She wasn't alone with her memories. He had them. He took them from her and made her whole. Made her human. She felt him holding her, his fingers sifting through her hair, looking for the hourglass, stroking it and caressing it. Accepting who she was. He knew the worst of her, and it didn't matter.
I'm all right. Memories are too close.
Do you need me? I can come to you, take you home. Hold you, Cayenne. You say the word and I'm on my way.
She loved that. Loved that he would drop everything to get back to her. Her heart melted. Her stomach did a little flip. He'd already pushed the memories away, and she wanted to learn to cook. For him.
Baby. His voice, so soft, caressed her mind. She felt his love, that deep emotion neither really knew what to do with, filling her. I don't need you to learn to cook.
He didn't need it, but she did. It felt necessary to her. Cooking wouldn't define her, but it would make her feel more human. She needed to feel she could take care of Trap by means other than sex.
I need this, Trap. I want this. I'm interested in it and I think I can get good at it. I'm fine now, just maybe needed to touch base with you. She hesitated a moment. Took a breath and gave it all to him. To know you're there for me.
Always, Cayenne. Never
doubt it.
She would never take that for granted, no matter how long they were together. She knew she wouldn't. She sent him warmth and broke the contact, aware of Nonny's steady gaze. The older woman leaned over and put her hand over Cayenne's. Her hands were warm, just like the woman.
"You're safe in this house, Cayenne," she said gently.
Cayenne blinked rapidly to keep the burning out of her eyes. She wasn't afraid, but she couldn't explain that to this woman. She welcomed a fight, she was in her element going up against Whitney's termination squads, but sitting in a house with two other women who were being sweet and kind and friendly, that was much more difficult.
"Thank you," she murmured, because she had to say something.
"Let's get started." Nonny patted her hands and then stood up to lead the way to the kitchen. "I've got everything we need set out for the cookin' lesson. The more tools you have, the easier it is."
"Trap has all kinds of tools in his kitchen," Cayenne admitted. "I just don't know what they're for. And I always make such a mess. After a while I get overwhelmed. I don't understand how it looks so easy on the Internet but when I try, I mess everything up. It's absolutely maddening."
Pepper burst out laughing. "I think, when I first tried to learn, Nonny wanted to throw me out along with the burned dishes. I turned everything into charcoal. I couldn't seem to remember when I had something in the oven or on the stove. I just would get distracted, and the next thing I knew, the fire alarms were going off and the house was filling with smoke."
Cayenne found herself laughing. Laughing. With two women. No Trap to hold her up, she was actually having fun. She wasn't the only one who couldn't cook, and Pepper wasn't ashamed. Even Nonny laughed with them.
"Malichai loves his food," Nonny said. "You should have seen his face. I wanted one of those nanny cams set up so we could get his picture every time he found out Pepper was doing the cookin' instead of me."
Cayenne knew what a nanny camera was because she'd read about it on the Internet, but she couldn't see Nonny trolling for information on the Internet. It was kind of funny to hear her say it. She glanced at Pepper, saw the look on her face and knew she wasn't alone in what she was thinking. Pepper burst out laughing and Cayenne found herself following suit.
Cayenne wouldn't trade this experience, being with the two women. It was her time having fun and gaining a connection. She loved it.
CHAPTER 16
Nonny raised her eyebrow, clearly reading both their expressions. "You keep laughin', you two. I got my ways to know these things. I thought that Wilson Plastics Company was a front for terrorists to make those dirty bombs. Brought Wyatt home. I wasn't very far off either."
"No, you weren't," Pepper agreed.
"Somethin' else is goin' on in the swamp. Years ago the government came in and moved five towns. Between them, the towns of Logstown, Gainsville, Santa Rosa, Westonia and Napoleon had over seven hundred residents, all that had to be moved. A lot of the people didn't want to go. They'd been born in those houses and grew up there, lived there all their lives. Still, they were all of them cleared out. Said they were testin' rocket engines for NASA. Even now, when they do fire them up, the houses outside the swamp shake and even the water rocks."
"I haven't been there," Pepper said, "but I thought they gave tours to the public."
Nonny nodded as she handed each of them a knife and a chopping board. "They do. But that's all controlled, and you see what they want you to see. Used to be, we could take our boats into the canals and bayous where those towns used to be. A few years back, the military moved in. You try to take a boat in there or you go hikin' lookin' for plants to heal people, they come at you with grim faces and heavy artillery. They weren't doin' that to test those rockets. So somethin' else is goin' on."
"Have you mentioned this to Wyatt?" Pepper asked.
"Givin' it time. Lots of rumors. I want to sort them out and see before I go tellin' tales to my grandson. He's the kind of man who does somethin' about anythin' not right."
"That he is," Pepper agreed.
"We're goin' to make us some paella. The boys like this dish, so we've got to triple up on everythin'. Each of us will do enough for one batch, that way we're all makin' the right size servin' that you can use on your own for your men."
"What is paella?" Cayenne asked.
"It's chicken with rice, almonds, olives and mushrooms and Andouille sausage. I like to add me some crawfish sometimes, but not today," Nonny said. "A good staple and easy to fix if you have company. I need both of you to peel six of those small onions and I'll do the same." She caught up a small bag of onions, counted them out and gave each of them six. "After you peel the onions, you need to mince two cloves of garlic and then chop up a three-fourths cup of olives."
Pepper smiled. "No problem. I got this."
Cayenne moistened her lips and watched carefully as Nonny efficiently peeled an onion. There didn't seem to be any trick to it, but she was very fast. Cayenne mimicked her movements. There was no need for the knife, and she didn't cut away most of the onion trying to peel it as Cayenne had done at home.
When Nonny set the peeled onion aside, Cayenne studied her method for mincing the garlic cloves and then copied her.
"You just clean as you go. I keep a bucket handy to use for compost later and a garbage can for anything else." She gathered up the peels and dumped them. Both women followed suit.
"Now we got to cut up the chicken. Each of us needs three pounds. I take the skin off." Nonny demonstrated.
Cayenne took a deep breath. Skinning and cutting up a chicken was much more difficult than mincing a clove, but Pepper was already in action, and she was determined. In any case, she was really, really good with a knife. When she managed to cut up the three pounds of chicken fast she was rather proud of herself. Nonny indicated the compost bucket and they all dumped the remains.
"Cut a half pound of the sausage into rounds."
The girls found that easy enough and obeyed.
"If you were going to add in crawfish or shrimp, you'd do it with the chicken and sausage," Nonny said. "For today, in the Dutch oven, we're goin' to heat two tablespoons of olive oil, add the chicken and sausage, and we're makin' our own seasoning. See the little bowls there? The spices are in the middle. I use two tablespoons each of onion powder, garlic powder, dried oregano, dried basil, which I grow and dry myself."
The two women carefully measured out the spices into their respective bowls.
"Everyone makes seasoning different. I add quite a few, but you don' like that, or your man doesn', you just change it up. In this one, we'll add one tablespoon of dried thyme, one tablespoon each of both black and white pepper and cayenne."
Cayenne flashed a small grin. "Your recipe seems right for the two of us."
Pepper laughed. "So true."
"Add five tablespoons of paprika and three of salt," Nonny continued. "You want to mix it up really good. We just add seasoning to the chicken and sausage. No, no, Cayenne, not the entire bowl," Nonny cautioned. "Just a little bit. The rest we store for the future in an airtight container. It will last a couple of months. We put the chicken and sausage in the oven and bake at 350 uncovered for fifteen minutes. It's best to set a timer. When I was younger and had the boys, they were a mighty distraction. Now I'm old and forgetful, so I always use the timer."
"That looks like tons of food," Cayenne said, trying to keep the horror out of her voice. "Do they really eat all that?"
Nonny nodded. "They're men, and they work all day tryin' to turn this place into a fortress and they need to keep their strength up. Each of them has bought land nearly all the way to Trap's compound. They're goin' to build homes or add to the ones they bought, so all through the swamp here, Wyatt's team will have a safe home base. They can have their families here."
Trap hadn't mentioned to Cayenne that his team members were all planning to settle in the area. She liked the idea that Pepper and the triplets would be so protected.
Pressing a hand to her stomach, she found she was a little relieved that if Trap and she did have a baby, the child would be just as protected.
"So you have to cook for them?" Cayenne asked.
Nonny frowned. "I want to cook for them. I enjoy it, and I enjoy watchin' them eat whatever I make. I try to have beans or gumbo on the stove for when they come in at odd hours. I like havin' those boys around. Makes me feel my girls are protected. I got me a good shotgun, but some of these soldiers Whitney sends are a might trained."
"I like that," Cayenne said softly. "That you want to cook for them, that it gives you pleasure. I tried to explain how I felt to Trap, but I never know if what I'm feeling is normal. I just have this driving need to make him a home."
"There's nothin' wrong with that, girl," Nonny assured. "You love your man, and you want to do right by him. He do right by you?" Suddenly Nonny's gaze was piercing, as if she could see right through Cayenne to her very soul.
Cayenne held the older woman's gaze and slowly nodded her head. "He's so good to me, sometimes I don't know what to do with it. He's kind and funny and so sweet it makes me feel funny inside."
Pepper and Nonny exchanged a long look, both with raised eyebrows and disbelieving expressions.
"You're talking about Trap," Pepper said. "Our Trap?"
Cayenne didn't like her tone or her words. "Actually he's my Trap, and yes, he's always sweet. Well . . . Not in public. Then he's cold as ice, but he's got his reasons and I understand them, so it doesn't bother me." Much, she added silently.
"Trap is sweet to you?" Nonny asked.
Cayenne tried not to feel defensive. "He was the first human being to show me any kindness at all. When I was terrified one night, he was so good to me, letting me learn things on my own . . ." she broke off, blushing. "I don't know how he had so much control, and he's a man who needs and prefers control, but he was wonderful to me. And he built me an apartment. When I couldn't stand wide-open spaces, he didn't mind my . . . um . . . artwork hanging on the bed like drapes. He sees me. He makes me laugh."