Tansy went pliant and accepting, kissing him back, letting his marauding hands tug away her shirt so he could slide his hands over every inch of her skin, whatever he wanted, whatever he needed. His mouth left hers, trailing kisses over her chin, down her throat, to her breast. She circled his neck with one arm and arched into him, a little helplessly as he took, frantic for the taste and feel of her.
"I have to be inside you right now," he whispered hoarsely. "Right now, Tansy."
The urgency in his voice, the mesmerizing need and desperation, had her tugging at his belt, his jeans, shoving them partway down his hips even as his mouth pulled strongly at her breast and his teeth tugged at her nipple. She was suddenly nearly as frantic as he was, her body clenching and dripping with liquid heat.
He lifted her, hands hard on her bottom, fingers digging deep as she wrapped her legs around his waist and locked her ankles tight. She could feel him pushing at her entrance, driving through tight folds to stretch her with his invasion. He didn't give her time to adjust, but thrust upward as he dropped her down hard, her sheath enclosing him like a tight fist. She dug her fingers into his shoulders, throwing her head back, a moan escaping.
Kadan turned, angling her body so her back was against the wall and he could slam hard and fast, pounding deep in a frenzy of need to be part of her, to know she was alive, surrounding him with silken walls and scorching fire to melt away the last of the cold. He didn't allow himself thought. He wanted only to feel. To know she was alive by touch, by sound, by scent. He didn't trust his own mind, but his body knew hers, his hands and his burning, aching shaft as he thrust into her over and over.
"Look at me," he commanded. He needed to see her eyes. Her eyes always told the truth.
Tansy's gaze immediately jumped obediently to his. She looked sexy, eyes glazed with passion, her expression almost tortured as he rocked her body over and over with his pistoning hips. Her breath came in ragged gasps and her breasts bounced, but, as always, she held nothing back from him, moaning softly, her muscles tightening around him, riding his frantically bucking body with the same matching fervor as he rode hers.
Heat rose from his toes up his thighs to center in his groin. The fire raced through his bloodstream, burned in his belly and up through his chest, until it filled his mind with a rush of pleasure so intense it burst behind his eyes like streaking rockets. His body jerked and her muscles tightened to a stranglehold, gripping him with her fiery, silk-lined sheath. Jet after jet of hot seed soaked deep, triggering more violent ripples around him.
Kadan pressed her against the wall, his face buried in her throat while he gasped for air. Mostly he just savored the feel of her in his arms, his body surrounded by hers. When he could breathe a little, he managed to get to the edge of the bed and lay her down, his body collapsing over hers, still buried deep, holding her hips locked with his.
"I swear I'm going to live here--fucking live here forever. I'm not letting you go, Tansy. I'm staying inside you, part of you, where I know you're safe every minute of the day." He buried his face against her breast, the warm, soft, inviting flesh she never kept from him. Never hid from him. "I thought you were dead. I held your body in my arms and thought you were dead." A shudder ran through his body.
"I know," she whispered, her hands caressing his damp hair. "I'm so sorry, Kadan."
He shook his head, his shadowed jaw sliding sensuously between her breasts. "You shouldn't be with me. I don't know what I would have done. I looked at myself and saw all those killers standing right beside me. I wanted to kill. I even needed to."
The shame and guilt and absolute loathing in his mind broke her heart. Tansy caught at his head, jerking him up, so that he was forced to look at her. "You're nothing like they are. Not a single part of you. You feel so much, so deeply, and your mind shuts that off to protect you. You aren't a cold, unfeeling monster, Kadan, you never have been. That part of you is necessary, it keeps you from losing your mind. It's a protection. Without it, you couldn't do the things you need to do to keep the world a safer place. I know that sounds silly and trite, but it's still the truth." She brushed her mouth gently over his eyelids. "I love you exactly the way you are. I love that cold warrior who keeps this man--you--sane and alive and coming back to me."
"What if I had hurt someone?"
"Who?" she demanded. "Who were you going to hurt?"
He looked confused. "I don't know. Someone."
She smiled and leaned up to kiss his nose and each corner of his mouth. "You were on automatic pilot. You didn't know what you were doing, only that you needed action. I'm in your mind. I see you better than you see yourself. You couldn't handle the grief, and the warrior took over, but he wouldn't have harmed anyone."
"You don't know that for certain."
"I do, Kadan. Partnership is trust. I trust you completely. I give you everything I am. My body, my heart and soul, and my mind. I trust you to see me. What I want, what I need, who I am, deep down where no one else can see. And if I'm your partner, your true partner; you have to trust me to see the real you even when you can't. I do the things you ask because I know I can trust you to keep me safe, to tell me the truth. You have to love me all the way, give yourself to me all the way, or let me go."
His heart slammed hard in his chest. "You have me, Tansy."
"Then believe in me when I tell you that cold part of you is a guardian, not a monster. Yes, you have killed, and you're capable of killing, you do your job, but you don't kill for fun or pleasure or because it makes you feel powerful. You are not a monster and nothing will ever turn you into one. That line is not blurred for you. You would have come to your senses and put your weapons away and crawled into your mind where no one could see and grieved for me. You were grieving; you just didn't let yourself feel it."
He blinked and there was love in his eyes. Tenderness. Joy. "I don't deserve you, but I'll be damned if I give you up."
"I won't let you give me up."
Kadan kissed her hard, his mouth rough, then tender. "You're naked and I've got all my clothes on."
"And weapons," she pointed out.
"Sorry about that." His hips began a slow seduction, moving in long, languorous strokes. "I'm not leaving your body, not even long enough to take my clothes off. We're going to be like this all night, and then tomorrow, you're going to come with me to Montana and we're getting married."
She tugged at his shirt until he levered himself up enough to let her pull it over his head and toss it aside. "I think we need a little more planning time for a wedding."
"No, we don't." He licked her ear, teasing with his tongue. "I'm not waiting. And then I'm tying you up in a locked room naked, no clothes, and spending our honeymoon torturing you with pleasure until neither of us knows whose skin we're in."
"That's the plan?" She shoved at his jeans and the open belt to get more room as his hips pushed deeper into her, filling her with heat and fire.
"That's the plan," he said firmly. "So don't bother wearing panties under your wedding dress."
CHAPTER 21
"You haven't told me you love me, Kadan," Tansy said.
Around the room people milled and talked and laughed, some swaying to the soft music and others crowding around the table of food. Kadan ignored them, centering his complete attention on Tansy. He lifted her left hand, thumb feathering a caress over her skin, and then he kissed the wedding band he'd pushed onto her finger just an hour earlier. "I showed you last night."
"You haven't said you loved me," Tansy reiterated. "You know, those three little words you like to hear me say."
"I told you the other day when that bastard wrapped his fingers around your neck and choked the life out of you." There was an edge to his voice, his eyes going midnight dark.
Tansy scowled at him. "I was dead. I don't think that technically counts."
Kadan swung her into his arms because he needed to feel her close to him. He couldn't talk about her being dead, not even joking--not yet. The mu
sic was soft and sexy, and he pulled her tight against him, one hand sliding down the curve of her spine to rest on her rounded bottom as he swept her around the room.
He pressed his lips against her ears. "I've asked you twice if you were wearing panties. That should tell you something." His tongue flicked out in a lazy swirl and then his teeth bit down on her earlobe.
She laughed softly, bringing instant joy to him. "It tells me you're thinking about sex, not our wedding reception. Stay focused here, my man."