“Lie down, Meadow.” I dropped her leash and pointed to the entry rug. She obeyed as I removed my boots.
“Hot chocolate? Tea? Cider? Wine? Beer?” Kael rolled out the welcome wagon as I removed my jacket.
“I’m good.” I walked around and took notice of all the things I missed the day I was there for sex and only sex.
A fire burned in his fireplace, a Christmas tree twinkled with little white lights in the corner of his living room, modern furnishings dotted the open spaces, and black and white photos accented his bright blue walls.
“I visited Tillie.”
My head snapped to the side, gaze ripping away from the photo of him and his parents. “You did?”
“I did.” He took a seat on his sofa, resting one ankle on his opposing knee.
“And?”
“And she’s good. Disappointed. But good.”
“Disappointed in me or you?”
“Both.”
I frowned.
“Disappointed that I don’t want to go to church with her, date her, and eventually get married. I think it helped when she realized that it’s not her. But that’s also when she realized that you must know this already, so she just came out and asked me if we’d had sex.”
My shoulders slumped. “And what did you say?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “What do you think I said?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’m the town whore.”
“No. That’s not what I said.”
I dropped my hand from my face and tried to grin, but I failed. “That’s not what I meant. I’m saying it as a fact, not that I think you told her that.”
“She deduced that on her own, especially after I told her about licking your pussy in the back of your Tahoe on Thanksgiving.”
Nausea roiled in my stomach. For a few seconds, I honestly didn’t know if he was joking or not, probably because I was stunned by his crass and very blunt recollection of that event.
“Joke. That was a joke. Elsie. Take a breath.” He chuckled.
I took a breath, but it did little to make me feel better. “Well … it would appear I’m done going to church here. Or leaving the house for that matter. Maybe Bella will do my grocery shopping.”
“Would it help if I left?”
“What do you mean?”
He rested both feet on the ground, leaned forward, and planted his elbows on his knees, hands folded in front of him. “What if I closed my store and just … moved on? I wasn’t going to stay here forever anyway. We both know that. If I left now, maybe the rumors and gossip would die down quicker. You could leave your house, and Bella could finish her senior year in peace.”
“You just opened your store. You renovated it. Surely you have a business loan for all of that.”
He nodded. “I do. But I’d find work in some other place and pay it off eventually.”
“No. You stay. It’s five months until she graduates. I’ll sell my house. We’ll go stay with my parents in Arizona this summer. And after Bella starts school in the fall, I’ll figure out what to do from there.”
“Arizona in the summer. Sounds miserable.”
“Bella loves the heat. Me? Not as much. But I won’t melt.”
He stared at his folded hands. “You should do what you need to do. But for the record, I will miss you.”
“Until you won’t. You’re not a goose or a wolf or a beaver. You’re a duck. I’m a duck. We’ll find other people to fu—”
“Don’t.” Kael shook his head. “I would never guess you’re forty-two, but if you finish that sentence to make it rhyme, I will buy you denture cream and a girdle.”
“Fuck.” I giggled, shuffling my fuzzy-socked feet to him.
He unclasped his hands and pulled me between his legs. My hands rested on his shoulders and his rested on the back of my thighs. When he dropped his forehead against my belly, I threaded my fingers through his hair.
“I love you, Elsie. And I’m not saying it to change your mind about anything. I’m saying it because I think you need to hear it. And I’m saying it because I hate that we were together so many times and you thought I was incapable of love. So …” He lifted his head and gazed up into my eyes. “I love you. I regret nothing. And I will miss you.”
“You’re no goose.”
Kael chuckled. “I’m not a goose. I’m a duck. And I’m okay with it. I’m just saying right now, and maybe for many more nows to come, this duck loves you.”
“And this duck loves you too. But … I love my daughter more. I love her like a goose would. And she needs me to be boring and practice sexual abstinence until she graduates and moves away from Epperly.”
“I understand.”
Taking a few steps back, I continued inspecting his place. “For a wanderer … a nomad … you don’t hesitate to really make a home. I mean … your walls are painted a blue that I’d bet wasn’t the color on them when you moved in. And all the photos on the wall—it feels homey, and that doesn’t fit the thirty-year-old guy who doesn’t like commitment.”