“You don’t want to commit to eighteen years with another human to raise a child? Or you’re saving the Earth?”
“Maybe a bit of both.”
Really … he deserved all the credit for his honesty, even if it was blunt and a bit harsh for my love-marriage-baby soul. I let his words sink in for a few seconds—maybe a few minutes—while he showed patience and stayed.
Why was he staying? I told him to leave. I let him go. I begged him to leave.
“Have you ever had your heart broken?”
“Yes.”
Not the answered I expected. Yet it gave me … hope. It made me feel not so alone. Captain America wasn’t invincible after all.
“Are you thinking about your mom? Was that the one time you’ve had your heart broken? When she died?”
A soft smile crept up his face. Adoration. It looked good on him. I think I got that same look whenever anyone talked to me about my kids.
“Yes. She broke my heart when she died. But she wasn’t the first. I know what unrequited love feels like. And it’s awful. But it’s life. No regrets.”
I glanced at the clock on the microwave. “I’m late. I need to get to my shop. Don’t you have work too?”
“Rachel is opening it this morning. But yeah, I need to go shower and head that way.”
I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to them, internally cringing at how puffy they felt from my crying. “Well…” I attempted a weak laugh to lighten the mood “…thanks for listening. Clearly, I needed to have a good cry today.” Sensing his approach, I kept my eyes closed and my hands at my face.
“I’m actually a great listener. I just never have great advice.” He pulled my hands away from my face. “I can plow snow. My handyman skills are pretty good. All manual labor is a strong suit of mine. I’m not terrible at sex.” He smirked. “I just don’t have all the answers to life. On a good day, I have the answers to my life. So I live in the timespan of moments because I like the now. I can deal with now.”
“Youth …” I smiled. “In my next life, I want to be you, Kael Hendricks.”
“That’s kind of you to say. But let’s hope that’s a long ways off.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and left them there for several slow breaths. “I did something over the past two weeks that isn’t common for me.” He turned, heading toward my front door.
“Well …” I followed him. “Where are you going?”
“To take a shower.” He shoved his feet into his boots and squatted down to tie them.
“You can’t say something so cryptic and then just … leave. What did you do?”
He stood and zipped his jacket. “I missed you.”
And then … he disappeared out the door.
There wasn’t a shelf high enough to keep my heart. Not an ocean deep enough. Kael wasn’t human. If he wanted my heart … he would find it. He would take it. And I would just wait for him to give it back … holding my breath … focusing on the now.Chapter Twenty-TwoI don’t miss you because you’re no longer in my life … I miss you because you’re no longer in this life.* * *That afternoon, Ruddy’s Roses delivered a bouquet of flowers to the store. I looked at Kandi as she marked down more products per my request. She shrugged.
“They’re for you, Elsie.” Cynthia, the driver for Ruddy’s, smiled at me as she set them on the counter.
“Wow … okay. Thanks.” I waited until Cynthia left before grabbing the card.
“I bet they’re from one of your kids … since it’s close to the anniversary of …”
Craig’s death.
Kandi didn’t say it. She didn’t have to.
If that were the case, then they’d be from Finn.
That smile is a good look on you.
“So … who are they from?” Kandi charged the checkout counter.
“I don’t know. There’s no name on the card.”
She plucked it from my grasp. “Aw … that’s so sweet.” After staring at it for a few seconds, her gaze lifted to mine. “Kinda weird coming from one of your kids, especially with no signature. Do you have a secret admirer?” Her voice crescendoed.
I rolled my eyes. “And who would that be?”
“I don’t know. That’s why he would be a secret. Or it could be Dr. Jennings. I can see her sending you flowers this time of year. You know … with the anniversary of …” Kandi’s nose wrinkled.
“Craig’s death. You can say it, Kandi. I won’t fall to pieces. And yeah, you’re right. It’s probably from Amie.” I grabbed my jacket. “Going for soup. Can I bring you back anything?”
“I’m good. Thanks.”
I nodded and headed down the way to Spoons. The line wasn’t as busy since it was after one o’clock, but there were still five people ahead of me.