“Chitchat … do people say that anymore?”
“Yes, Kael. I’m a person, and I just said it.” I liked saying his name as I would one of my own children. It felt imperative to think of him as not only young but inexperienced and in need of role modeling.
However, he demonstrated lots of experience in my dream the previous night.
Dear God, please make it stop! Take a magnet and wipe my brain.
“Can I help you with anything?”
“Nope.” I turned on the Open sign and shrugged off my long, wool coat.
“Wow … you look great in red.”
I ignored his compliment as I turned on the other lights, unlocked the cash register, and hooked up my phone to play holiday music over the speakers.
“So tell me about your kids.” He picked up a jar of sweet honey mustard and read the back of it. When he shifted his attention to me, I averted my gaze and busied myself behind the counter, tidying up a few things.
“I have three boys in college, and my daughter, Bella, is a senior in high school.”
Kael’s head bounced in a slow, impassive nod as he returned the jar to its shelf before resuming his inspection of my store.
I cleared my throat. “Do you have kids? A wife? A dog?”
He chuckled, his twinkling eyes finding mine, ensnaring my gaze far too long. When my cheeks permeated with heat, I tore my attention away from him and tidied up the candy display on the counter.
“No kids. No wife. No dog.”
“Well, you’re young.”
“So you keep reminding me.”
“I just mean, a lot of people are waiting longer to get married and have kids. Not everyone gets pregnant in college like I did.”
“I’m sure you regret nothing.”
I narrowed my eyes and glanced over my shoulder at him while he perused the products in my store. “That’s an interesting assumption.”
“Is it?” His gaze lifted to meet mine.
“Yeah, I mean … I think wonderful things happen to people by accident, but that’s not to say that given the chance again—not knowing the future or outcome—that we’d always make the same decisions.”
“So if you had it to do again, you would have had him wrap it up?”
I blushed again and turned my back to him. “I’m saying, I hope my daughter plans her pregnancies.”
“So you don’t believe God has predetermined your life?”
“I … I don’t know.”
“It wouldn’t make sense. Him taking your husband from you. Right?”
No. That part made total sense. She’s not in the Bible, but her name is Karma. “Not sure.”
“Well …” Kael straightened the tins of popcorn by the windows. “I don’t believe in marriage.”
“That’s just your way of saying you don’t want to be monogamous.”
“No. It’s my way of saying I’m not a fan of marriage. Beyond shared insurance and hospital visits, I just don’t get it. Besides … I’m not entirely sure humans are meant to mate for life. I think sometimes it works out that way for different reasons, but if you look at the rate of divorce and cheating, it speaks a different truth.”
“Love.”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to be married to love someone.”
“No, but maybe you want to be married because you love them.”
“Why?”
“I just told you.”
“Live with them. Sleep in the same bed. Have lots of sex. Hold hands. Make meals together. Whatever … but why the need to be legally bound to them like property?”
“Well, for one … religion.”
“A lot of religious marriages end in divorce. So what do those vows really mean if you’re not truly staying together forever? Is it just a certificate to have sex? Is it just the marriage-before-sex thing? Seems like a lot of time and effort just to rub genitals.”
I snorted a laugh. “Now I know why you’re not married.”
“Don’t you worry about it. I have a romantic side.”
“Not worried. Don’t care.”
He disappeared around a display. “I’m thirty.”
I cringed. Thirty … I had sex dreams about a thirty-year-old.
Kael’s head poked around the corner, and he grinned. “I know you’ve been dying to know my age.”
“Dying is a strong word. But don’t think it means I’m going to tell you my age.”
“I don’t care about your age. But … you have three kids in college, and you said you got pregnant pretty young, so you have to be in your early forties.”
“So … does no marriage mean no kids for you?”
He removed his beanie, revealing his messy dark hair, and he tried on an Epperly baseball cap. “Humans suck at conserving. We like to overconsume and pop out kids. It’s not sustainable. So … no kids.”
“Maybe you should have been a priest.”
Kael smirked, still wearing the Epperly hat. “I like sex too much.”
Squinting, I pointed a finger at him. “I knew it wasn’t really marriage that bothers you the most. It’s monogamy.”
“It’s mating for life, and they’re often one and the same. But they don’t have to be. There are open marriages. There are also people who never get married but choose to be with the same person for life. Freedom of choice. That’s why I’m a little anti-marriage. If I’m going to be with someone, I want it to be a conscious choice every day. ’Til death do us part is a little crazy in my mind.”