Hearing the truth in my voice, he burst out laughing. “Make sure of it, or I’ll come and show her some of the videos I’ve got of y’all at the bars.”
Now that would be an issue. Sadie would hate me for life if she saw that shit.
“When you put it like that…”
Over his laughter, I heard a creaking sound and knew he’d just stood up from his desk. “Make her happy, E.T. And make yourself happy, too.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“That’s all we can ever do. And I want an invite to the fucking wedding, jackass.”
Before I could tell him to shut up, there was a click, and he’d hung up the call.
Something about what he’d said made me look around me like I was standing in a different room. I was looking at everything with Sadie differently, too. Instead of the oppressive, suffocating cloud I’d had around me, things looked and felt lighter and more straightforward. Even watching her walk around me to take the umbrella out of the sink, giving it a shake—a simple action—was different.
“Everything okay?” she asked as she swerved around where I was standing, leaning my ass against the counter. “You look weird.”
Shaking my head, I shot her a grin, hoping it looked real instead of confused. “Absolutely. That was my commanding officer, well, technically my old boss,” I explained, keeping it simple. Her brother was in the Navy, so there was a chance she might know the terminology, but I didn’t want to get into it. “He’s a good friend and was just checking in.”
Tilting her head to the side, she assessed me, forgetting about the still dripping umbrella in her hand. “You’ve been avoiding his calls?”
As I shrugged my shoulders, hoping it would reassure her, I realized the tight tension I’d had in them wasn’t as bad. It’d felt like a taut string was in there for months, but now it was looser.
“Elijah?” she prompted, and I realized I’d zoned out.
“Sorry, it was just strange hearing from him. Yeah, I’ve been busy trying to get shit sorted in my life, so I forgot about keeping in contact with people. I haven’t spoken to him in about four months and he was worried.”
“You know,” she said quietly, “I discussed survivor guilt with Dale after the whole thing with Parker’s evil ex-stepmother happened. Both of us have experienced it. If you ever need to talk about it, I’ll bet he’d be free, and the three of us could sit down. You don’t even have to get deep or anything like that, just listen to our stories, maybe?”
I wasn’t a deep talker. If I could avoid emotional conversations, I did. So this offer was like offering me ice cream with crushed chips and a pickle on top—repugnant. But something about it, and thinking about what I knew about Sadie and what she’d gone through, struck a chord with me. To open up about something like that would put her in a vulnerable position and state of mind, yet she was offering to do it to help me out so that I could understand why I felt the way I did.
If she could do it, could I?
Taking a deep breath, I nodded slowly. “We’ll work up to the full conversation, but if you’re free tonight, I’d like to spend some time with you talking.”
What the fuck, Elijah? You’d like to spend some time ‘talking’?
Any self-berating that I would’ve continued to do went to shit because the smile she shot at me made it all worthwhile.
“I’ll bet if I rang Lily, she wouldn’t mind getting someone to cover for me. Give me a second to put this and the groceries away, and then I’ll make dinner. After that, if you still feel you’d like to talk, we’ll do it.”
Did she have to say do it?
“I’ll put the groceries away while you do what you need to do, then I’ll help you with dinner.”
I wanted to spend time around her with this new lighter feeling. She usually helped me chase the weight away anyway, but now it felt even better. It was like a drug for me.
“Cool. I’ve also got a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label in the cupboard. I can’t reach it because whoever installed the kitchen was a freak of nature, but if you can get it down, we’ll have drinks while we work.”
I could feel the small smile I’d had move into a grin as she spoke. Tiny little Sadie Dahl, drinking whisky.
“You little rebel.”
I’d expected it to be relaxing and fun—which it was—but I never once expected it to end up the way it did.“I think I’d have liked Cooper,” Sadie slurred, waving her glass around and ignoring Dobby, who was darting around the room. “He sounds like he was a good egg.”
I’d taken a detour from telling her outright what my problem was and had focused on telling her funny stories about stuff me and Coop had gotten up to.