Clara, you knew I was going to call. Where are you?
By the time I’d read through the first screen full, they were coming in every few minutes.
Call me back.
Clara, I’m not amused.
Answer your damn phone.
Each progressive text acknowledged his patience was rapidly coming to an end.
Where in the fuck are you?
You really are pissing me off.
I can’t believe you’re fucking around.
That one had me fearing Nikolai had somehow discovered Alek was more than just my boss. I couldn’t drag another person into the hell I was being dragged into yet again.
Lesson.
What? I’d skimmed over the last few, but this one word had my heart stopping as I reversed direction to read the entire text again.
It’s clear you need another lesson…
Oh God… no, no… no. I’d never survive another of Nikolai’s lessons.
“Please… please…” I begged, my eyes scanning the remaining few texts as if perhaps thinking he might hear me and offer me some sort of mercy. My chant was interrupted by my scream as the phone blared.
“I can explain—”
“Where in the fuck have you been?” Nikolai growled, cutting me off. “I’ve been trying to reach you for fucking hours.”
“I’m sorry—”
“Not as sorry as you’re going to be when I—”
I had absolutely no doubt he was speaking the truth, and yet basic survival instinct had me cutting him off this time. “I was in the hospital!”
“Get hold of… wait… what?”
His rant curtailed for at least a moment, I rushed to explain where I’d been. “I couldn’t answer your calls because I didn’t have my phone,” I finished, practically hyperventilating as I’d not taken a single breath since cutting him off. After drawing in some much needed oxygen, I said, “I wasn’t attempting to ignore you, Nikki.” I almost gagged on the last word, but at this point was willing to pull out all the ammunition at my disposal if that meant keeping this toxic man away from those I loved.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Nikolai said, his tone slightly less condemning. “You can show me how much you weren’t ignoring me.”
“Show you?”
“Yes, Clara. I’m giving you a chance to demonstrate how contrite you are at making me waste my time wondering where the fuck you were.”
“But…”
“I’m glad you remember how much I love your butt,” he said with a chuckle that had my stomach crawling up into my throat. “If you’re a very good little girl, I might even use lube this time.”
Oh God, I’d rather die.
Of course, that would be the easy way out, and God knew that I had never been given the gift of ease. I couldn’t afford the luxury of death… not when my grandmother needed me…
“When—”
“Now,” Nikolai said, cutting me off. “I believe you’ve made me wait long enough, don’t you?” Evidently the question had been rhetorical as he continued, “I suggest you get your ass home within the next half hour, or I will begin this little reunion without you.”
Home? Oh fuck! He is at my house!
“Wait—”
“I’ll be there in thirty minutes, Clara, and I suggest you be there to greet me.”
“Why wait?” I practically screamed into the phone. My mind was stumbling over invisible tripwires as I struggled to come up with something… anything… to keep him away from my house where not only my babushka was, but where Alek could come by to check on Baba. “Nikki, I’m already in my car. Tell me where to meet you. Somewhere a bit more—”
“Conducive to you making a proper penance?” he offered with another soul-shattering chuckle.
If he were standing before me and I had a gun, I knew I’d kill him, and that thought had me wondering exactly how thin the divide was between good and evil. And though I doubted hell existed anywhere other than the very planet I stood on, I wasn’t willing to find out just yet. I’d signed a contract with the devil four years ago, and it seemed he wasn’t exactly the forgiving or forgetting type.
“I was thinking more private, but however you wish to think of it,” I said instead.
“I’m at The Drake.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling sick to my stomach.
“I can look over your head at the water while you’re busy getting my head nice and wet,” he said, painting a vile picture in my mind.
The click of the call disconnecting ended any hope I had of persuading him to give me more time. I’d been stupid enough to think finally things might be better, might turn around as I started down the new path Alek had not only opened, but was walking down with me. But again, no luck. It felt as if the world were pressing in on me, conspiring against me, desperate to send me down the road I was so anxious to avoid. I couldn’t even drag in enough air to scream. I couldn’t let this man back into my life.