I shoved the door open violently, smacking it against the wall with a loud bang, and I stalked inside preparing myself to see that damn fucking face of his again. That fucking smug bastard smirk. His horrible squint. The arrogant aura around him. How the hell had I ever thought he was the love of my life? Sure, he’d come into my life at a very vulnerable point. Just when I found out my grandmother’s health was failing. Nikolai had been surprisingly good to me, despite all of the shit I was going through.
I was a fucking naïve idiot back then. I’d thought he was truly concerned about me. I couldn’t seem to see he was grooming me, drawing me to him like a bear to honey. He used my concern for my grandmother to get to me. He took me to parties where anyone who was anyone in New York milled about just to give me a chance to let off a bit of steam. He showed me how a few drinks would do nothing more than calm me down then assured me one little pill magically took the edge off and wouldn’t possibly hurt me. I’d swallowed it all… both figuratively and literally.
Well not again.
I would never, ever be fooled by that man again, and I intended to let him know that the second I saw him. It enraged me to no end he was even here, anywhere near my life, and it terrified me too. The influence this man once had on my life, and the things I knew he’d done just because he felt like it, fucked with my head. Nikolai was a big part of the reason why I’d wanted nothing more than to lock myself away from the rest of the world. Until Alek entered my world that was.
Thoughts of Alek filled me with a fear on an entirely different level. If either man found out about the other… I couldn’t bear to think what would happen. I had to make sure not only that Nikolai got out of my house before my babushka got home, I had to make damn sure Alek never found out about his visit.
I found Nikolai standing in my front room with his arms outstretched to hug me, as if we were old friends. “Hey there, Clara. It’s wonderful to see you again!” he said smarmily, with that familiar smirk I hated playing on his lips. “How have you been?”
I had no intention of having any fake small talk with this guy. Especially as I didn’t know what fucked up game he was playing. “What do you want?” I snapped back. “And how did you find out where I live?”
“Have you forgotten so quickly that when I want something, it’s easy enough to get it… including an address,” he said, making his meaning very clear.
Suddenly I realized the only reason I’d been allowed to walk away from him without him dragging me back if for no other reason than to teach me another lesson was because he’d not cared. My absence and silence had effectively sealed my fate as being guilty of everything being printed about me. Nikolai wasn’t the type of man who wanted to be seen with someone who’d stepped off the pedestal he set them upon, a woman who’d fallen from grace even when he was the cause of that stumble.
I had been useless to him without fame.
Now that I was beginning to make my comeback, all of a sudden he wanted to know me again. He had to be absolutely crazy to even think I would consider going back to him. Knowing what this man was like, he probably knew about my grandmother, too. He was probably aware of how ill she was, and I feared he intended to use that to his advantage.
Well, not this time! I was stronger now. More capable. I’d done just fine looking after my babushka all by myself. I didn’t need his so-called support. I didn’t need a fucking thing from this man.
“I thought I made it perfectly clear when I walked out of your apartment four years ago that I never wanted to see your face again,” I said.
“No one walks away from me.”
“I do,” I countered, proving the point by walking to the window and pointing toward the driveway. “Get in your car, drive back to New York, and don’t ever fucking come back.”
“Careful, Clara,” he said, dropping any pretense of friendliness. “You also seem to have forgotten I don’t take kindly to hearing demands coming from your lips. Not when I can think of far more pleasant things to occupy that dirty little mouth of yours.”
My stomach clenched at the memory his words evoked, and yet I didn’t even let that stop me. “Get out, or I’ll stop being silent. I’ll tell everyone the truth about what you ordered done to Lara. What you have done to others. How you’re the—”