“Look, it was an impulsive act that shouldn’t have occurred. I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s like the moment I saw her naked, my other head—”
“You saw her naked?”
Shit! This was so not the conversation I’d planned when I’d dialed his number. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to stop acting like an idiot and get myself under control.
“Not relevant,” I said, not about to answer his question. “That’s not anyone’s business, but—”
“Don’t get your panties in a wad,” Baker said with a chuckle. “Besides lust, which you obviously have for her, and might I state that there isn’t a soul on earth who could blame you, do you actually like the girl?” he asked in a hushed tone as if he thought someone might overhear his question.
That someone most likely being my brother.
“I’m not sure,” I replied cautiously. “I wish there was a simple answer. Putting the theater and professionalism aside, I don’t know too much about her. What do you think?”
“That’s a tough question,” he said. “I mean, she really does seem like a nice woman, and she definitely has a good heart from the little she allowed me to see during our interview. She dotes on her granny, and though I know she needs the money, I checked around and learned she cuts her rates to the bone whenever a prospective student can’t afford to attend her classes. I got a good vibe from her.”
I knew she had an intense bond with her grandmother and knew it took a special type of person to be a caregiver for anyone. I wasn’t really surprised to learn that caring extended to her making sacrifices to keep another little girl’s dreams from dying.
“What else?”
Baker continued, “There’s a risk with her.”
There was that word again, the word that seemed to sum up Clara Simyoneva entirely.
Risk.
“The addictive side to her can’t be questioned. She was definitely in rehab and no matter how ‘cured’ she might claim to be, you can’t guarantee the craving for drugs or alcohol is truly gone. And finally, and definitely not least, there is the matter of you know who.”
I did, and the very fact a seasoned reporter spoke of Kosloff as if he were some character in a book who shall not be named told me Baker wasn’t just a tad bit concerned. I didn’t like the idea of having anything to do with the mafia or the men who ran it no matter what country they were in. That was something my father’s death had indelibly instilled in me.
Never get involved with the bratva as that road only led to one destination.
Pain.
“Did she tell you the details about everything that had happened with the man?” I asked, hoping to get a clearer story.
“Unfortunately, no,” he said. “We talked about it a little, but in all honesty, every time I attempted to dig deeper, she skirted the issue. I was afraid to press as I didn’t want her to walk out. I wanted it to be a positive interview. One more focused about her future. Unfortunately, that was my downfall in the end anyway. The editor wouldn’t publish it because it wasn’t juicy enough. All they really wanted was the dirt.”
“That’s typical… a fucking shame as I’d had higher regards for the Chicago Sun Times than for your typical tabloid, but hardly a surprise,” I murmured, barely listening once he’d admitted to backing off in the interview.
Instead, my mind was all over the place. What the hell was I going to do now? Was I really willing to break all of my cardinal rules for this woman? Sure, I felt an intense connection with her, but I couldn’t honestly deny there was a good chance it was a physical thing. If that was the case, then it would fade away eventually anyway. Brief infatuation was really not worth risking everything I’d spent my life working toward.
But sweet Jesus. That kiss.
How could I even look her in the eye again? How would I be in the same room with her without remembering how she’d melted in my arms from the heat of that kiss? This was the exact reason why I knew I shouldn’t get close with anyone at work. It would be damn near impossible to be around Clara again without these questions churning my insides, much less having to deal with the memory of those soft lips and that incredible body against mine.
Imagining Yuri finding out about the kiss was enough to have me shutting it all down even more. If he were to hear anything about this, then my little brother would have a real reason to give me hell. He’d enjoy every fucking moment, too, and that was the last thing I wanted.
But it would be deserved. I couldn’t flaunt the rules and taunt the devil and not expect to be placed squarely in hell.