Gabe hadn’t even suggested marriage as a convenient means of helping her with the responsibilities and mounting expenses of being pregnant by him. Oh, he was being noble, very nice, and even willing to “pay his share” of the expenses of her pregnancy, but nothing more. From what she’d learned about Gabe, he would have done the same for any other woman he’d accidentally impregnated. Even if he had asked, she wouldn’t have accepted. What if he left her when he felt his obligation was over? She wouldn’t survive. Nothing but a commitment born of love was enough for her.
Her breath had caught when he’d pulled off his shirt. She’d seen him shirtless before but the light had been dim. This time she could make out every nuance of his wide, muscular shoulders. She’d not missed the flex of his arm muscles as he’d applied the bandage or the light dusting of hair in the center of his chest narrowing into a line leading beneath the waist of his jeans. Large enough to carry heavy loads, both physically and metaphorically, it would be so easy to let him share her burdens without that all-important commitment of love.
Gabe smelled of male heat and his own special musk. His scent surrounded her. She was tempted to inhale deeply, memorize it, only to realize she already had. His tender touch had undone her as his finger had traveled over her palm. She wanted more of his kisses. Longed for his lips to cover hers again. All her vows to herself had evaporated like water on a hot day the second his mouth had found hers. There had been no thinking, only feeling. Only Gabe for that one eternal moment.
Thankfully the pizza guy had arrived, snapping her back to reality.
“Food’s in the kitchen if you want any,” Gabe called.
She was hungry and had to face him sometime. Also, she’d made her reasons for rejecting him crystal clear. There was no purpose in avoiding him with the ground rules of their relationship established. The aroma of cheese and tomato sauce drew her to the kitchen.
Gabe had pulled on another shirt and now sat at the table with the pizza box open and a slice in his hand. A canned drink sat in front of him.
“I haven’t had time to go to the grocery. Help yourself to a soda. If you’d rather have water, the glasses are to the right of the sink.”
Apparently, Gabe had recovered from their moment in the bathroom. He was treating her like the roommate she’d asked him to. So why wasn’t she more pleased about it? “Thanks.”
Gabe didn’t even look her direction while she filled her glass with water and took her chair. He pushed the box toward her. She selected a slice. “We haven’t talked about any house rules.”
He gave her an incredulous look. “There are no house rules. You’re free to do as you please. Treat it as yours. There don’t have to be rules for everything.”
His aggravation rang clear in his tone. Had she pushed him too far? Her common sense kicked in. All she’d done was hold to her vow, hold her ground about what their relationship would be while she lived here. His ego was no doubt bruised, but what was he really after? The best she could tell was sex while he waited for his child to be born.
“Thanks. It would be nice to use the kitchen. I like to cook healthily, especially for the baby.”
“Then cook to your heart’s content.” He took another bite of his pizza. After swallowing, he asked, “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
What was he after now? Was he going to put her on the spot about what had happened a few minutes ago? Her feelings about him? “No. Ask away.”
“Why did you pick the room you did?”
That particular question was totally unexpected. Why would he care? “Because of the view. I like the trees and the yard.”
He nodded thoughtfully.
Gabe had her curiosity up now. “Why do you want to know?”
“I just wondered if you saw the front room as a nursery and chose the other for that reason.” He watched her.
“Truthfully, I didn’t, but it would make a lovely one with all the natural light.”
“Then that’s what I’ll make it. I need to do something with this place. I was thinking of hiring an interior decorator to help. Unless you would like to do the room. After all, you’ll be here for a little while after the baby is born.”
“I’ll think about it.” Could she stand to see her dream nursery become reality and then leave it? Yet the thought of bringing the baby home to a pretty little world excited her.
Gabe didn’t offer any more conversation. And she couldn’t find a comfortable way to initiate one. She didn’t like this stilted silence between them. He must be angrier about her rejection than she’d first thought.
“Do you want another slice?” he finally asked.
She shook her head.
Closing the box, he stood. “Well, I’m going to call it a night. I need to be at the hospital early on my first day.” He walked to the refrigerator, opened it and put the box inside. “I’ll see what I can do about Mr. Luther as soon as I can. It may not be tomorrow. Night.” With that he went down the hall toward his room.
Zoe sat looking out at the dark patio, feeling deflated. Something was missing. Something she hadn’t known was special until it had gone. Zoe glanced in the direction Gabe had gone. She wanted it back.
“Hey, I forgot to give you this.”
Zoe jumped at Gabe’s voice. She hadn’t heard him returning. He was barefooted and bare-chested with only a pair of sports shorts riding his slim hips.
He slid a key across the table toward her. “You’ll need that.”
“Uh...thanks.”
“I’ll see about getting you a garage door opener as soon as possible so you can park in the carport.”
“Okay.”
“Night, Zoe.”
“Good night.” She watched him leave, wishing she was going with him.
After putting her glass in the dishwasher, she straightened the kitchen and put the chairs back into place before going to her room. Stepping into her bathroom brought back memories of Gabe’s kiss. Would it be like that every time she went in? She feared it would.
Moving in with Gabe had been a calculated risk. One she’d believed she could handle, but it was proving more difficult than she had anticipated. Yet her mother now had the quality care she needed, deserved, so the risk Zoe was taking with her heart was worth it. At least living with Gabe was temporary. Knowing there was a time limit on the intense temptation did help.
Tonight was an example of why she needed to strengthen her resolve to keep their relationship on a business basis. There would be no more moments of weakness on her part if she could prevent it.
After a hot bath she crawled under the covers. She’d never felt more alone in her life. Gabe was only steps away, but she wouldn’t go to him. What would it be like to sleep with her head on his shoulder? Heaven. Yet she couldn’t allow herself even the pleasure of that fantasy because it would weaken her self-control.
CHAPTER FIVE
GABE HAD FORGOTTEN what it was like to start a new job. The stress, anxiety and the feeling of always being one step behind. He didn’t like that. Knowing what was happening in his sphere of influence was important to him. Indirectly Zoe had accused him of being controlling. In her case and with his patients, he believed it was more about caring. Either way, he was determined he would be placed on the surgery schedule sooner rather than later. The more surgery he did, the faster his career would grow.
Even in the OR there was an adjustment period. It would take time to put a staff together that would interact smoothly with each other. For now it would be trial and error. Yet this was the position he’d been working toward his entire professional life. What he hadn’t planned for was becoming a father while trying to create the finest liver-transplant program in the world.
Worse was his growing desire for his “roommate.”
It had been three days since he’d seen Zoe and he didn’t anticipate slowing down l
ong enough to see her anytime soon. If she’d been worried they’d have too much time together, these past few days had proved her concern groundless. As far as he could tell, she was asleep when he came home and getting her morning shower when he left. He’d known his job would be demanding and had accepted it. That was just one of a number of reasons why he wouldn’t make a long-term commitment to a woman.
Since he’d not seen Zoe after giving her a house key, he’d left his garage door opener on the kitchen counter because he had not had time to get another. He wrote her a note.
This is for you. Sorry I didn’t think to give it to you the other night. Been busy. Call me if you need something.
When he pulled into the drive late that night, Zoe’s car wasn’t parked in her usual spot, just to the right past the front door. A light burned in the kitchen. She must have taken him up on his offer to park in the carport now she had a door opener.
He studied the glow in the window. At least Zoe had thought about him. He’d been living with his mother the last time he’d come home to a light left on for him. There was something about it that said, I care about you.
As he entered the front door, a wonderful smell filled the air. Making his way to the kitchen, he discovered a plate of cookies with a note beside them. He dropped his keys and picked up the piece of paper.
Made some for the guys. Thought you might like a few.
Gabe took a bite of a peanut-butter cookie. “Mmm.” His grandmother used to bake them. His mother never had much time for that sort of thing. Most of her efforts revolved around her job. Her actions had taught him that success was only gained through hard work and personal sacrifice. Picking up the plate, he flipped off the light and headed for his bedroom with a smile. He would eat the rest before he went to bed.