I carry Jackson outside and buckle him in his car seat. As soon as we get downtown, I’m hit hard with nostalgia.
“Why do you look sad, Aunt Winnie?” Jackson asks, taking my hand. I help him out of the car and smooth out his costume.
“I’m not sad,” I explain. “I didn’t realize how much I missed this until right now.”
“You can always move back,” Mom points out like she always does.
“I know.” Usually, when Mom says stuff like this, I counter it with all the reasons why I wouldn’t want to. But today, I don’t. Because I could move back here, and the more I look around at the effort the town puts into Halloween for the sake of the children living here, the more I want to come back. “It’s a nice place to raise kids.”
Mom stops dead in her tracks. “Are you and Archer thinking about moving here?”
“I am,” I say slowly. “And maybe Archer in a few years.”
“A few years?”
I nod. “He got accepted into that fellowship he wanted, but it’s in Boston.”
Mom opens her mouth only to close it again. “And he’s going?” she finally sputters.
“Yeah. And he should. He’s been working towards this since he was eighteen, after all.”
“You’d think he’d be ready to be done with school,” Wes says, avoiding eye contact with me.
“Yeah,” I agree. “It’s not a permanent position or anything. Just two years of the program and then he’ll be a certified trauma surgeon. I think. I’m not sure how that all works.” I let out a breath. We stop at the first storefront and Jackson gets in line to get candy. Mom sees someone she knows, which isn’t hard to do in Eastwood, and goes over to talk to her. My mind is whirling, and my due date hangs above me like a ticking time bomb. I can move after Emma is born, I know, but I’d like to figure this out before then if possible.
I always thought I’d come back here, that my kids would grow up with their cousins and Mom and Dad would babysit on Friday nights so I could go out on a date night with my husband. Then I got my current job and realized how proud it made me to hold the position I do as a young adult woman and I didn’t want to give up my career and be a stay-at-home mom in a small town.
It’s funny how things change, and while working at one of the fastest growing software companies used to be my only driving force in life, being the best mother I can be is so much more important.
Jackson jumps around with excitement when he sees another kid dressed as a Jedi, and they do a little pretend fight scene. Jackson ‘wins’ and says he has to go and save more planets.
“He knows nothing about Star Wars,” Wes laughs.
“No kidding.” I slow my pace, getting another pain in my side. I feel it more when I’m stressed, and right now I’m pretty damned stressed. Wes slows with me, making sure I’m okay.
“Can I ask you something personal about Daisy?” I ask and start walking again.
“Sure.”
“When did you know you two weren’t right for each other?”
He considers my question. “Probably a few months after our wedding.”
“Why did you stay together then?”
“I didn’t want to admit it to myself or to anyone else. And I think part of me felt like it was a challenge I had to win. Relationships are hard, and I don’t quit things.”
“Do you wish you did?”
“Quit? Yes and no. I wouldn’t change anything that would make Jackson not be here, but I think of the wasted time Daisy and I spent together. This might come as a shock, but we weren’t exactly happy. Why are you asking?”
“Just curious.”
“Are you wondering if you and Archer aren’t right for each other?”
I shake my head. “No. Well, kind of. I think we want different things in life and it concerns me. He’s really focused on his career, which isn’t a bad thing at all. I used to think I was, until she came along.” I pat my belly. “Family’s always been important, and now that I’m going to have my own, it matters more than anything.”
“When will you see him next?”
“Tomorrow. He got the weekend off and is meeting me here.”
“Have a talk with him about all this. One of the biggest things Daisy and I did wrong was not talk about the nitty-gritty stuff. I avoided saying half the things I should have said because I didn’t want to end our marriage. But it’d been over for months before Daisy left. If you and Archer aren’t compatible, it’s best you figure it out now.” He gives me a sympathetic smile.
I nod, feeling both relief and anxiety. “Thanks, Wes.”
He puts his arm around me. “Of course, Quinn. You know I’m always here for you.”
“I know.” That’s another reason I’d love for Emma to grow up here. Not only is it much safer than Chicago, but she’d be surrounded by people who love and support her.
I accidentally left my phone at home while we were trick or treating. Not that it’s a big deal or anything, but I did miss two calls from Archer followed by a text that says he got called into work and will be there all night.
Frowning, I hope he got at least a few hours of sleep. I text him back and take a shower, then sit in the living room with Mom and Dad for a while before going to bed. Rufus jumps up next to me and walks in a circle three times before laying down in the middle of the bed. I roll over, putting my arm around him. He lets out a groan and starts panting.
“Fine,” I say with a huff, getting out of bed to turn the fan on. I check my phone, just in case, though it’s been next to me the whole time and I’d know if Archer contacted me. I think about what Wes said, about how the need to clearly communicate what I want in a relationship is so important.
I want to be with Archer. I’m in love with him, and I want to raise our daughter together. But more than anything, I want us to be happy. Missing him and feeling pretty damn disappointed we won’t see each other tomorrow, I look through our vacation photos until I fall asleep.
I wake up to someone sitting on the edge of the bed. I’m still tired, a little groggy, and not ready to get up yet.
“What are you doing?” I ask, eyes not focused enough to tell if it’s Owen or Logan yet. They’re identical twins, but I’m able to tell them apart.
“You awake?”
My brother leans in, and I don’t have to see to know it’s Owen. “You smell like a distillery,” I say and push him away. Brushing my hair out of my face, I sit up, eyeing the clock. “Why are you drunk at seven in the morning?”
“Why aren’t you?” Owen shoots back.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Oh, right. Why’d you go and do that?”
I flop back and pull the covers over my head. “Archer was too irresistible.”
Owen stretches out and lays down, pulling my pillow out from under my head. “That’s what the ladies say about me.”
I yank my pillow back and give him a shove, and he falls off the bed. “Did that baby give you super strength or something?” he slurs.
“Yes. Better not piss me off even more, or I’ll set you on fire with my mind.” Yawning, I throw the blankets back and get up to pee. When I get back, Owen is at the foot of the bed with Rufus. I grab my brush from my bag and run it through my hair. The stairs creak, and Logan makes his way into my room.
“There he is.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You lost him again?”
“Not technically. I knew he was here.”
“Why is he here? And you? It’s so early.”
“We had a bachelor party at the bar last night. With strippers and everything.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“So that’s why Owen is drunk.”
“Partly,” Logan says, lowering his voice. “Charlie was there. With her boyfriend.”
Charlotte—Charlie—Redford was Owen’s only long-term girlfriend. Things seemed to go really well between them, and then Owen did something stupid, like he usually does, that made her break up with him. He claims it only bothers him becau
se she got away, but I still think he’s in love with her.
“Whose bachelor party did you host?”
Logan shrugs. “Some guy named Bill. It was a crazy night.”
“Looks like it. Though you still never answered my question on why the hell are you here?”
“We were supposed to go four-wheeling with Jeff and his brother, but this loser is too drunk to operate any vehicle. I dropped him off here so Mom could spend some quality bonding time with her third-favorite child.”
“You mean so Mom can clean up his puke.”
“Basically. I don’t want to do it later.” He pokes at Owen, and, realizing he’s asleep, takes his shoes off. “Sorry he woke you up. I told him to see if you were up because I brought donuts and coffee.”
“Smart to bring a bribe. Is Mom even up yet?”
“She’s out walking the dogs.”
I fold down the blankets and cover Owen up. “I’m sleeping here again tonight. If he barfs in the bed, I’ll be pissed.”
“I won’t barf,” Owen mumbles.