“Aren’t you wearing one?”
“No, this is a swim coverup.”
He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t get the difference.”
“This one is a little see-through.”
“I didn’t even notice and I’m always checking you out.”
I laugh and grab the beach bag. “Okay, that’s good enough for me then.”
“Walk in front of me,” he says with a smile. “Let me check out this see-through dress.”
“What’s on the agenda for today?” Archer asks once we’re seated for breakfast. We’re on an outdoor patio with the resort pool on one side and the ocean on the other. I cannot get over how pretty everything is here.
“Beach time, a couple’s massage, and then a luau. It’s supposed to be really good according to what I read online.”
“I’ve never had a professional massage,” Archer says as he looks over the menu.
“You’ll love it.”
“What exactly does it mean ‘do a couple’s massage’ over a regular one?”
“We’re just next to each other. Usually you do the same things, but mine has to be altered since I’m pregnant.” I glance at the drink menu. “Order a mimosa for me. I just want to smell it.”
Archer laughs. “I can do that.”
I look out at the ocean, watching people drag kayaks through the sand and into the water. There were a few things I couldn’t do that I wanted to—like kayak and go horseback riding—due to being pregnant. There were mixed reviews online about whether it was safe or not, but Archer and I decided or err on the side of caution.
“So, the fellowship,” I start, looking down at my menu. “Have you thought about it at all?”
“Nope.”
I put the menu down. “Really?”
“Really. I meant it when I said we shouldn’t think about work. Let’s focus on us and how fucking amazing it is here.”
I smile and nod, wondering how I can focus on us when I don’t know where we’ll be. I don’t want to be away from him.
“Us. Right. Well, we are doing the perfect Quinn and Archer vacation with food, sleep, and sex.”
“It’s the perfect relationship,” Archer says with a smile. “Doesn’t hurt that you’re a total hottie.”
I laugh. “We are good together and—” I cut off, hand flying to my stomach.
“Are you okay?” Archer starts to get up.
“Yeah. I felt a kick. Like a real kick.” I move my hand, feeling it again. “Whoa. That’s weird. But cool.”
“You know the whole process of conception and birth fascinates me.”
“Oh, I know. You had me watch that Miracle of Life video with you like we were in a middle-school sex ed class.”
“You never watched the end.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to see someone give birth until after I have.”
“That might be a good idea,” he laughs. The waitress comes to take our food order. When she leaves, silence falls over the table. I’m trying hard not to think about the fellowship, and I have a feeling Archer is too. But he’s right not to bring it up.
We’re in paradise together with no responsibilities. The week will be over before we know it, and then it’s back to reality.
“You’re looking a little red,” Archer tells me, setting his book down. We’ve been on the beach for a while, and I moved out of my shady spot inside the cabana to soak up some sun.
I sit up, readjusting my floppy hat. “I’m feeling a little warm.” I stretch and go back into the shade next to Archer and grab the sunscreen. Archer takes it from me and rubs it on my shoulders. “Want to walk in the water with me? I’ll cool off and we can explore the beach a bit.”
“Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s get something to eat first.” He grabs a bottle of water and hands it to me. “You need to make sure you stay hydrated.”
I twist off the cap and take a long drink. “You too, mister. You might be used to not taking care of yourself, but I won’t allow that on my watch.”
“Thanks, babe.” He takes his own water and finishes it off. I stick his book in my bag and move it deeper inside the cabana. Taking only my phone and wallet with me, we go to a walk-up tiki hut-themed bar that serves snack foods as well as alcohol. We bring the food back to our reserved space.
We sit close together, cuddling up after we’re done eating. Being with Archer feels so right. This is how we were meant to be.
Together.
Which makes not knowing what Archer wants to do about this fellowship hover above me like a dark shadow. Refusing to let it darken my mood, I get out my phone and take selfies of us together, and then snap a few pictures of the beach to send to Mom, who’s been texting me all day asking for more photos.
Archer and I walk along the beach for a while, and then I lay out a bit more, careful not to overheat. We go back to our room a few hours before dinner to shower and get ready.
I stay in the bathroom to blow-dry my hair, and when I come into the room, Archer is already asleep.
Smiling at how he looks both sweet and sexy at the same time, I grab my phone and take a picture of him before carefully getting into bed next to him. The balcony doors are open, and the sound of the ocean below lulls me to sleep.
I wake up before Archer, needing to pee. When I get back into bed, I can’t fall asleep. My phone is on the mattress next to me, and I go through the photos we took today while at the beach. I upload my favorite to Instagram and send a few more to my mother.
I log back onto Instagram to check and see who’s liked my photo so far. Instead of putting my phone down and turning off my mind, I open an internet search and look up information on the fellowship.
The particular hospital in Boston is one of the best in the nation, and I’m all the more proud of him for getting in. It hurts my heart to think of us being separated, but this is his dream. I don’t want him to regret this, years later or to resent me or Emma for keeping him from following this path.
If he wants to go, I’ll have to be okay with it.
23
Archer
“Are you doing all right, babe?” I ask Quinn, wondering if the sun is getting to her like it’s getting to me. Though judging by the distance between us, she’s doing just fine.
She stops, turning around and holds up her phone, taking pictures of our surroundings before taking one of me.
“I’m fine, just like I was the last time you asked me. You’re a slowpoke.”
I laugh. “You ran up ahead.”
“I thought I saw a ferret.”
“They’re mongooses. Mongeese? They were brought here to help control the rat population but took over.”
“Well, they’re cute. I want one.”
“I think they’re mean.”
“They just want love.” Quinn puts her phone back in her bag and holds out her hand. I take it, lacing our fingers and pulling her in for a kiss. We’re hiking today, on our way to see a waterfall. It’s hotter today, and the comfortable breeze is gone now that we’re in the thick of the woods. Still, being here with the love of my life is good for my soul. I didn’t know how much I needed this until we got here.
Quinn makes it easy to enjoy life. To laugh and smile. To be happy. She’s distracting, which is good because I’m having a really hard time not obsessing over the fellowship. We’re on day three of our vacation, and other than Quinn bringing it up at breakfast, nothing more has been said about it.
Though I know we’re both thinking about it.
Part of me didn’t think I’d actually get in. It’s an extremely competitive program, and after not hearing back for several weeks, I assumed I hadn’t made the cut.
And it was a relief.
I could pick and choose my job—to an extent—from there on out. There are enough hospitals around Chicago that I’d get something, and Quinn and I could raise Emma together like we want to. We could talk about looking for a new place, maybe even one in the suburbs with a yard.
But if I go to Boston…I don’t know what will happen. It’s only temporary, but two years is a long fucking time. I don’t want to be away from Quinn for two days, and Emma…I’d miss so much if I were in Boston. We’d see each other as much as possible, of course, but it wouldn’t be the same.
Getting the fellowship and becoming a trauma surgeon has been part of my long-term plan since I got into med school. I want to do this, and I know I’ll love working trauma.
“There’s another one!” Quinn whisper-yells. “Come on, you have to admit it’s cute.”
“It’s not hideous.”
She laughs and starts forward again. We made it another few yards before I slow to a stop.
“Listen,” I tell her, tipping my head.
She closes her eyes, lifting her chin to the sky. “Water.”
“We’re close to the waterfall.”
Quinn’s lips curve into a smile and we start forward again. I break a spiderweb out of Quinn’s way at the last second. We’re on a less popular trail, going to see one of the smaller waterfalls. We haven’t seen anyone else out here in a while, which has been nice. The world seems to fade away when Quinn’s with me like we’re the only two left in it.
The path gets a little steep and slippery with wet rocks and mud. I keep a tight grip on Quinn’s hand, but she doesn’t need any help. Emerging through a thick of trees, we see the waterfall.
“It’s gorgeous,” Quinn breathes.
“It is,” I say, but I’m still looking at her, watching her face light up as she takes it all in.