“Hello… Edge?” I don’t even care that I sound desperate and out of breath.
“Um no. Eve.” And then silence. “Are you okay?”
I almost feel guilty. I know she loves me, but she also loves Edge. Telling her we couldn’t make it through one night of marriage might make her sad.
“I… I said something that I didn’t think was bad and yet he did.” Sitting back down, I shiver, only then noticing I’m naked and it’s a bright sunny day. The sky is blue, the clouds are white, and yet I feel like I’m eighty instead of thirty-one.
“Oh no, Dolly. Why? Listen, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”
“I told him I don’t want kids. I told him it’s because of how fucked up our childhoods were because we were raised in the club. And that he’s a criminal.” I literally just vomited a little in my mouth after saying that sober.
Silence. “Eve? Are you still there?”
She clears her throat. “Why would you say that? Jesus, why Dolly? And by the way, I have two kids,” she snaps.
“I’m a horrible person. Sorry.” My voice cracks as I look around for some water.
“Listen. You need to eat shit. On an exciting note”—her voice gets all happy—“I have news. I’ve been calling both you and Doug for an hour.” I stand and grab a water that I’m sure they charge seven dollars a bottle for, but I desperately need it.
“I need to find him. I have to do something.” I start to guzzle the most delicious-tasting water ever. Throwing the bottle on the floor, I take in the disastrous state of our room. With a groan, I notice the broken Cristal bottle.
“Shit.” I rub my forehead as my eyes dart to his clothes. Or what’s left of them.
“Dolly.” I jump and almost drop the phone.
“Sorry, I’m here.” I sink down at the bottom of the bed.
“I said Charlie had her baby.” Her voice bubbles with excitement.
“Wait, what?”
“Yes. Early this morning, her water broke. They had to do a C-section, but she’s doing amazing.”
“Holy shit.” My head is reeling. “What kind of baby?”
“What? Hold on.” I hear her ordering two Grande Pikes.
“I’m back. What do you mean what kind of baby? The human kind,” she snaps at me, then says thank you to who I assume is the Starbucks barista.
“Get over here and pull yourself together. And for God’s sake, don’t say anything… crazy.”
“I won’t.”
“Good.”
Before I can ask what hospital, she’s gone. My eyes can’t help but stray back over to his shredded, stabbed clothes.
“What have I done? Even my best friend thinks I’m insane.” My mind doesn’t want to go to the place I’ve blocked out.
“Where the fuck is he?” And where did he spend the night?
My phone vibrates and I look down, knowing it won’t be from him. Something changed last night. I couldn’t grasp it in my intoxicated state. But my truths seemed to do something to him.
I can’t accept him. And I guess he feels the same. We’ve moved miles apart when we used to be the closest. Even with all the pain and shit we’ve had to go through, I always felt that we were still Edge and Dolly.
“I don’t know how to get him back,” I whisper. My whole body sags with exhaustion, as if I have the weight of the world on me.
I’ve been in love with him my whole life and now… well, now I’m reduced to wondering where he slept and that I’ve shredded his clothes.
Looking down at my phone, it’s a text from Eve.
Eve: Here’s the address to the hospital. Edge and Axel just walked in.EDGE
Thirty-one years oldI have no idea what time it is. Fucking Vegas. Time doesn’t matter here. I know it’s been hours since I left her. I know this because my heart still burns even with the massive amount of cocaine and alcohol I’ve consumed.
I left her. We’re over. I need to move on because this kind of pain, well, I can’t live with this kind of pain. My mind spins to David for a moment and all the tragedies he went through. I was always sympathetic, always tried to be there for him. But having this kind of pain with Dolly has to be nothing like losing a child. I don’t know if I would have the strength to go on.
“Hey Marty.” I motion to the bartender. Marty looks over from the end of the bar and nods.
The man is amazing. He’s got to be in his seventies, smokes two packs a day. I’ve never seen him without an alcoholic beverage in his hand. Fucking fantastic.
“You two ready for another?” He smiles at me, his weathered skin looking the same as it did years ago. Marty is an old friend of my dad’s. He owns a dive bar in downtown Vegas. It’s been a Disciples hangout from the day he opened it forty years ago. The snap of the pool table and laughter make me focus on him.