I grab the top one, pull it on, and eye my dirty jeans. I don’t have time, so I shake my dusty ones and check to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything.
A wave of jealousy comes over me as I look at all Axel’s guitars on the wall. They range in color and size. He always seems to have everything under control. He’s the best at whatever he sets out to do. Guitar, his band, the club. Whatever, Axel seems to thrive and not give a fuck about anything. Yet, if you need someone to have your back, there’s no one more loyal.
I know his buddy Rhys is concerned that Axel’s love for the Disciples will make him leave the band. And he’s right to be. Axel is 100 percent a Disciple; Rhys is a childhood friend, someone to hang around with.
We’re a band of brothers who would die for each other. I’ve been wanting to ask about becoming a prospect early, like Jason. But with what went down today, I guess I should focus on getting Dolly back.
There’s a knock at the door and Jason’s voice booms in, bringing me back to my shitty present.
“You ready?”
“Yeah.”
I must look better because he says, “Let’s go. I have to set the meeting up in Sun Valley with the Demons.” Even being the Prez’s kid, Jason still has to be a prospect, earn his patch.
He’s a born leader so it’s easy for all of us to follow him. I mean, everyone knows that Prez is getting ready to step down. Chuckie will be our new president, but rumors have been floating around that Jason should be our King.
We all three pile into a black Escalade. Doc stares out the window.
That saying “Don’t get high off your own supply” seems to have missed Doc because he’s like a different person from the dude I grew up with.
“I need a cigarette.”
Jason starts the Escalade, tosses me a pack of Marlboro Reds, and backs out.
I slouch into the black leather seat and light up… let the calming effects of nicotine distract me from remembering anything for as long as it can last. The ride is silent save for the tires on the road. Tossing the cigarette out the window, I see Jason’s green eyes narrow at me in the driver’s mirror.
“What?”
“What happened last night can’t happen anymore, Edge. You need to control Dolly.”
I lean back and let the morning air hit my face. “Yeah, so I keep hearing.”
“You want to be a prospect.” He shakes his head. “But you gave Shark an excuse to be a dick.”
I lean forward. “Fuck that. I have been nothing but respectful. I’ve basically been a prospect for years trying to prove myself to him. He can’t pull that shit.”
“He can and he will.” The Escalade goes over the speed bumps alerting me that I’m already at school. “You’ve got to put the club first, man. If Dolly can’t back you…” He doesn’t finish.
“The club is always first. Why do you think I’m in this fucked-up place?” I slam the door not even looking back.
“Hey brother?” Jason calls out the window. “Has it ever occurred to you that she might not want to be an old lady?” I freeze as his words melt into my skin, sinking into my bones.
At war with my subconscious and his words, I don’t turn to respond and start walking.
Maybe she doesn’t want to be an old lady…
I head straight to her locker. She’s gonna be hurt, but she’s mine, and at the end of the day, she’ll listen. She has to. I can’t accept anything else.DOLLY
Seventeen years old“Mom.” I wrinkle my nose. I’ve cried so much it’s hard to breathe.
“Give me five more minutes.” My swollen eyes shift to her naked body. Why can’t she wear something, even underwear, to bed? It’s not that hard.
“Don’t bother. I have a ride.” This makes her blink her eyes open and stare at me.
“What?” She leans up on her elbows. “What time is it?” Her long dark hair looks like a rat formed a nest in it.
“Seven thirty. I’m having Troy take me this morning.” I almost choke on the word Troy, but I made my decision around 3:00 a.m. I’m done. I will go to Homecoming with him, and I will be the queen without guilt.
I don’t think I have ever felt so exhausted and it’s not only because I was up all night. It’s because my heart has been betrayed. I look down at my broken nails, which I filed this morning. In my rage, I broke them all.
I spent at least an hour in the shower in a daze, tears and shock washing over me. Not even the soothing hot water was able to stop my shaking. At long last, at 5:00 a.m. I gave up and got dressed for school. I straightened my hair and tried to make the dark circles go away. It’s pretty hopeless since I look sad, but seriously, who cares?